History was maybe made, hours ago, when
Germany’s Sebastian Steudtner rode a Nazare beast being touted as
“the biggest wave ever ridden.” Porsche, who sponsors the fine
looking Hessian, claims it used drones to measure the water tower
at 93.73 feet.
The number, of course, must be verified by the World Surf League
which certainly has superior computers etc.
“I am very grateful to Porsche for the cooperative partnership
over the past three years,” Steudtner said after the ride. “True to
‘Driven by Dreams’ and with Porsche as a partner I have been able
to fulfill my dream of contributing to the further development of
my sport.”
The lantern-jaw’d blonde utilized a special board made by
Porsche that was capable of going 100 kph.
Very cool.
Now, those who have toiled under the heavy yolk of the surf
industry for decades might recall when Steudtner won Biggest Wave,
or something, at the XXL Big Wave Awards back in 2010. The
still-fresh faced Taylor Paul covered for Surfing
Magazine and shared:
The presentation of the awards is a mess, though. When Rory
Russell announces the Monster Tube Award, the nominees for Best
Performance by a Female come onscreen. Christian Fletcher
introduces Sebastian Steudtner in the Biggest Wave category by
saying, “And the winner is…the German who doesn’t paddle.” And when
the German reaches the stage to accept the award, Fletcher mutters
something about Hitler. They spend way too much time going through
interviews about the biggest wave, when it’s clear that it is the
dullest category (that a windsurfer won the award will reinforce to
the surfing world that towing is not a game of skill). It takes a
while for Occy to present his award because he is crooning, “We
don’t neeeeeeeeeeeeeed…no more trouble.”
I was there too, I think, at the Anaheim Grove though it’s all
very blurry except for that Fletcher bit and also Bill Sharp’s
hair.
Who, in any case, do you think history will recall most
favorably, Fletcher or Steudtner? Something to ponder until
Margaret River opens its dumb in five-ish hours.
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Monster John Florence versus Gabriel Medina
clash marred by gross World Surf League incompetence
"Can we blame the WSL for this? Should we? On one
hand, of course it’s impossible to blame anyone for weather..."
Your years at school are not equivalent to the years
that will follow. School years are like dog years, they
stretch out, neverending.
Then all of a sudden you leave, and they tick away like the
timer on a bomb.
Think of the clarity of your school memories. Everyone remembers
school, often in far greater detail than seems logical.
This is something I’m always conscious of at this time of year.
Pupils are leaving, and although from my perspective their final
days will merge into the final days I’ve seen of others like them
for seventeen years now, it’s important to remember this isn’t
their viewpoint. I’m part of their present, and my manner, mood or
words might form future memories, for better or worse. It’s my
responsibility to be present for young people who cannot yet
understand how formative their experiences are, but no-one tells
you this.
I think of this when senior girls appear smiling at my door in a
swirl of glitter and fancy dress, all done up for their final days.
And yet I’m still teaching, still in the middle of a class that
have dog years of school still to go. But it’s important to stop
and acknowledge these moments, even though your first instinct can
often be to shoo them away because you’re still in the thick of
your own present, the mundane stresses of day-to-day teaching.
And when you do stop, you know it’s right. These moments are
what matter. They cut through the daily mundanity. Besides, no-one
has timetabled them to turn up at your class. They’re here of their
own volition to say goodbye. Of course that’s worth stopping
for.
You have no idea what will happen to most of these pupils, not
really, but you recognise the hope in the wide fires of their eyes,
and you know it’s important to stoke this, to give them some kind
of truth. Each needs something different, and these are not the
moments for platitudes. But sometimes it’s as simple as saying
thank you.
That’s what I wanted to say to the Latvian boy I pass every
morning, but will no longer. He would be standing outside his art
class, long before any other pupils had arrived at school, much
less thought about their period one class. But he would be there,
poor Marlens, on an island. Marooned by language and autism,
clinging to the raft of the one subject he could understand. I only
taught him for one year, a few years ago now, and he would mostly
draw in English. No-one spoke to him then or since, and he did not
have the faculties to overcome this.
And yet, every morning without fail he would say Good Morning to
me, followed quickly by How Are You? And there was always warmth in
this simple greeting, and something about his quiet presence each
morning at the end of that art corridor always snapped me out of
whatever greyness I might happen to be in.
And so the greeting was always reciprocated, as genuine warmth
always is. Returned and redelivered, it rolled on through us like a
river. And I’ll miss that. And I wanted to say thankyou to him,
though never did. Because on the final morning he was already gone.
He wasn’t dressed up and partying with the others. To him, school
was about turning up early for that art class, and saying hello to
teachers. So he had simply disappeared.
But I should have known this. Marlens would never come to my
classroom. It was up to me to facilitate this moment, to give both
of us a chance to communicate some kind of shared humanity that was
worth acknowledging. But the moment was lost, or never seized. And
although nothing terrible or tragic has happened, there’s a sense
that we are both poorer for it.
This is what I was thinking of as I watched Gabriel Medina lose
to John Florence, then Sammy Pupo beat older brother Miguel in the
round of 16 at The Margaret River Pro.
No two heats in recent memory had more potential across the
whole spectrum of what pro surfing can give us – drama,
explosiveness, the evolution of precocious talent, simmering
emotional fragility, sheer will to win.
But all of that was just on paper.
What we got for both heats were sub-standard conditions. Some
opportunities, yes. But long lulls, and waves dressed up a little
by the strong offshore wind, but lacking in any real size or
wall.
In both heats, nothing happened relentlessly.
The moments were dulled by the occasion they were given, and
this was unbecoming of both the men and their fates.
Can we blame the WSL for this? Should we?
On one hand, of course it’s impossible to blame anyone for
weather.
But on the other, if you don’t work to facilitate the very best
environment so that these moments might occur in better
circumstances, then that’s dereliction of duty.
What might that involve for the WSL? Longer event windows and
greater flexibility; a scaled down field; no non-elimination heats;
tailoring events round peak swell times, not tourist boards or
weekends.
You know, any number of things ardent fans of this shambolic
sport have suggested for years now.
We deserve better. They deserve better. John Florence, Gabriel
Medina, Miguel and Sammy Pupo. All deserve better.
How many more heats of Medina vs Florence, the two best talents
of their generation, might we see?
How many heats of brother vs brother, man on man, with an entire
career on the line, has there ever been or will there ever be
again?
The poignancy of these moments was completely soused.
For the majority of their heat, both Pupo brothers sat, desolate
in the emptiness of the Main Break line-up, left at sea by the
WSL.
Just five waves were ridden between them, an insult to the
occasion that was no fault of their own.
Medina vs Florence was scrappy. They rode more waves, but
neither man was able to unleash the rare power we know they have.
Neither was able to just surf, as both had wished for earlier in
the event.
Gabriel Medina led for the majority of the heat, then pulled out
of a good looking wave near the end to retain priority. He used
that priority on the first wave of a set with less than two minutes
left. It was the wrong wave. John took the next one, hacked the
first section, then pumped round the next for a weak finish and a
rare claim.
The claim sold it. The score came in at 6.90, which took the
heat by 0.24 points. Medina’s earlier 5.83 was a significantly
better wave, but such was the jarring nature of John Florence
claiming mediocrity, he was always getting the score.
Consider the conditions Florence has been subjected to that have
elicited this claim. He was a circus bear, balancing a ball on his
snout whilst the audience laughed, when really he should be tearing
their throats out.
The final moments of Sammy Pupo’s defeat of elder brother Miguel
were touching, even given the flatness of their heat. Miguel
consoled Sammy, the loser grinning ear to ear; the victor unable to
choke back tears as they paddled shoreward.
The resulting interview might have been one of the most poignant
post-heat interviews ever conducted in professional surfing.
Nothing I write here could adequately communicate how many of us
felt watching it. Pupo spoke mostly in his native language,
addressing his family, but we didn’t need to share his language to
empathise with his humanity.
It was a moment untarnishable even by the WSL.
Moments like this will echo long after they’ve passed. And if
you have created them, as I do in my job, even inadvertently, or
the WSL do by presiding over this sport, then you must do
everything in your power to respect them.
For me, that might be as simple as taking a moment to speak to
someone, even if I have my own issues at hand.
For the WSL, it’s a little more complex, but the premise and the
responsibility to others remains the same.
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Kolohe Andino breaks rank, protocol,
declares “surf industry f*#king dead!”
“Surfing culture, big time surf brands and the
‘surf lifestyle’ are F*$KING dead."
The Californian surf star Kolohe Andino whose natural skill
wasn’t allowed room to breathe on the world tour which led to his
premature departure, has stunned surf fans with a profanity
laden screed posted on Instagram.
Like Luther nailing his Ninety-five Theses to the door of the
All Saints’ Church in Wittenberg thereby creating the
still-reverberating split in Christianity, Kolohe Andino has broken
rank, and accepted protocol, to take aim at the once-mighty surf
industry.
“Surfing culture, big time surf brands and the ‘surf lifestyle’
are FUCKING dead,” writes the just-turned thirty year old. “You got
every FUCKING up and coming kid thinking they are one of the Paul
brothers. Trying to gain cloud in any way, shape or form, with no
gumption, no backbone, or no idea. These kids are not leaders, they
are followers.”
Jackets are 175, hats and tees are forty and a pair of brown
pants is seventy US.
Surf fans were divided on the post, all veering one of three
directions.
One, “Kolohe Andino is “spitting facts”, two, “Who are the Paul
brothers?” and, three, “Just comes with your age bud. Remember when
the old timers said the same thing about you? Haha Sponsored by Red Bull,
Nike, and Target. Hardcore surf brands and culture!”
It is unknown if the World Surf League will
complete the Margaret River Pro, this last stop where long knives
are drawn and underperforming surfers are stabbed. The mid-season
cut, brainchild of sadistic weirdo, and former World Surf League
CEO, Erik Logan is actually enjoyed by the most derelict of surf
fans. The season, stretching on interminably, with each event
microcosms of interminable, needs stakes and watching career death
certainly provides that but have we junkies pushed it too far?
I submit Miguel Pupo versus his brother Samuel Pupo as
evidence.
They were forced to enter the playing field yesterday morning as
howling offshore winds whipped kangaroo scent into the sea. Only
one informed he could leave. They engaged in mortal combat, for our
pleasure, like they were told. At the end, Samuel survived and
Miggy was metaphorically murdered.
Samuel wiping tears from his eyes afterward, saying, “To get him
off tour, I just feel like a loss really for me. Without him, I
wouldn’t be anywhere near where I am now. Maybe I wouldn’t be
surfing. For me to be in this position is all because of him. But
he’s really strong, I’m sure he’s going to come back. He just got
out of the water smiling, and he looked like he was the one that
won the heat. That just shows how strong he is, but it still hurts
so much.”
Erik Logan, somewhere, is writing a motivational Substack to
help the Pupos’ turn their pain into gain but don’t you feel the
cruelty of the moment matches anything the decadent Romans did in
their entertainment ovals?
Worse?
David Lee Scales and I didn’t really discuss during today’s chat
but did make time for A.P.E. webbed paddle gloves. I think you’ll
find it essential.
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Alternative to much-hated World Surf League
presents as Liberia to host first ever African surf tour!
The Margaret River Pro is currently bumbling
along in glorious Western Australia, bumbling being the optimum
word. The World Surf League, caught yet again in a ten day run of
bad swell, has been forced to start, stop, start and stop its
competition with even its most ardent fans growing frustrated and
surly. Waves, when they do come, are somehow miraculously missed by
the team, Joe Turpel’s mouth has entered a twilight zone and silly
branding rules the day.
But what, then, is the most ardent fan supposed to do? There has
long been hope in a “rebel tour.” One that boils off the World Surf
League’s nonsense and simply puts the world’s ten or twelve best
surfers in the world’s five or six best waves. But, let’s be honest
here. Red Bull is not going to come to our rescue nor is Kelly
Slater.
Enter Liberia.
The west African country hovering just north of Côte d’Ivoire,
just south Sierra Leone, has just announced it is hosting Africa’s
very first surf tour entirely independent from the World Surf
League.
President Joseph Nyuma Boakai, Sr., has expressed excitement
over Liberia’s rise to a place among the top 10 surfing
destinations in the world and the choice to host the Africa Tour:
Surf to Rise competition.
The event, scheduled to take place in West Africa for the
first time, will be held in Robertsport, Grand Cape Mount County.
It will be a five-day event, bringing in more than a hundred (100)
persons including sixty (60) athletes, all of whom will be staying
in Robertsport for the duration of the event to be held from May
23-28, 2024.
According to a press release from the Executive Mansion,
this initiative is a significant moment for Liberia’s tourism
sector, which aims to rebrand the country and attract visitors from
around the world. It also comes as the President prepares to submit
the Tourism Bill to the Legislature as part of his legislative
agenda.
As part of the transformative agenda outlined in the
Agriculture Roads, Rule of Law, Education Sanitation, and Tourism
(ARREST) Agenda, the President reaffirmed Liberia’s commitment to
harnessing its natural assets for sustainable development.