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Symbologists (left) in fight over meaning.
Symbologists (left) in fight over meaning.

Symbologists deeply baffled as young goats crash Kelly Slater baby shower

"What can it possibly mean?"

Symbologists, worldwide, were forced to take a break from deciphering Kendrick Lamar and Drake lyrics, yesterday, in order to attempt an understanding of surf great Kelly Slater’s Australian baby shower. The 11x world champion is currently on the Gold Coast with longtime, and pregnant, girlfriend Kalani Miller. The later took to social media with pictures of the event, which took place in gorgeous Byron Bay, writing, “Wow, where do I even begin?! My Australian family threw the most beautiful baby shower for the little one. It was an unforgettable misty rainy day in the hinterland of Byron Bay with the most thoughtful details full of love…”

Hearts full etc.

And gorgeous save one utterly baffling detail.

Baby goats had appeared to invade.

Early speculation centered around someone in the hinterland leaving a paddock gate open allowing for the kids to crash the party though that theory was quickly squashed by local farmers who thought such a potential accident impossible. The conundrum was then kicked to the aforementioned symbologists who pressed pause on “6:16 in LA” and “Meet the Grahams” to puzzle out meaning.

At time of writing, they are all stumped and requesting help.

David Lee Scales and I might have been able to provide some though got derailed with other topics including, but not limited to, leash tugging and homosexuality in professional surfing.

I think you’ll find it very pleasant.

Back to Lamar v. Drake, though. Where are you on that one? Team Compton or Team OVO?

Discuss.

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32 Comments
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Mcsippa

Humans and goats have enjoyed a close relationship for thousands of years. . There are about 1 billion goats worldwide and more people in the world drink goat milk than milk of any other species.
But soon a baby goat will dine on human milk ( well , potentially )

SaltyHB
Nonagon_Infinity

Been a while since K11y wore the yellow jersey!

Keith Grace

I do not know how a BG entry will again in 2024 have as solid, amazing, mic-dropping of a comment section as this has generated, with everything below my stupid 2-cents right here. Great work all… I bow to you on this one.

Happy Camper

In case you were wondering.
Goats in the Bible symbolize both the unrighteous and the powerful, while also being associated with fertility and sacrifices.

Kelly was sacrificed into retirement for Erin Brooks 10 point wave.

tim_nelsen

use ur words…

tim_nelsen

a man in full…

Mike

Yoko Ono came to mind. Is that racist?

deeks

Ono that’s fine

tim_nelsen

Sean…

tim_nelsen

MY PENIS & THE SURF MOVIE WERE ANTINOGSTIC…need interns/

tim_nelsen

wuevos rancheros…

https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….

Top Cunt

Compton crips all day

tim_nelsen

Compton is honestly aware of the benefits of recycling..

Stick man

Concentrate of death!

NUG

This is the quentessental Beachgrit article. We can all quit now and enjoy life.

How do you even top this?

Nonagon_Infinity
Mike

Instead of Unicorns you get a Satanic Baby Goat?

Nonagon_Infinity

Symbolism will be their downfall..

Dogsnuts

Surely sacrificed to appease Satan!
Xox

Otto

Kelly is letting her know the bush is overgrown and needs some serious landscaping.

Beef & Beer

Then one of Kelly’s cousins turned up to show them how to spit roast it.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Kelly even wore his taditional cultural attire and helped out too (shown below).
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Mike

I’ll take a plate!

tim_nelsen

have a glass of piss and kick it back with syrian channel bottoms and 125$ hoodies and/or kickpads that frame the wall…any broken water yet?

Mike

I’ve never shopped Outer Known. Is that what that shit costs?

tim_nelsen

don’t know. I’m 2 hours sober…sleeping. woke…to an applause…half-handed…featured artist~

c4

Apparently the resort is a theme of rustic California in the seventies. They should have consulted DSS for accuracy.

tim_nelsen

What do we call it when Michael Jordan, Babe Ruth and KS are looking at the newby in the manger? Three Goats & A Baby

Happy Camper

ChannelBottom lives just down the road.

Stick man

Goat figure…

Com Turren

you’ve got to be KIDding me…

tim_nelsen

fast forward 25 years…

https://standupworld.com/wp…


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