"Isabella Settanni appears to be an avid surfer and snowboarder..."
So, and let’s just make this quick. Kelly Slater, the world’s greatest ever surfer, once dated an up and coming Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bündchen who, afterward, married super quarterback Tom Brady. Those two had a long and seemingly happy marriage until Tom, like Kelly, refused to hang it up and kept on keeping on (allegedly).
Surf fans, feverish with fairytale, dreamed of a possible Slater x Búndchen reunion though, alas, she fell into love with her Brazilian jiu-jitsu instructor who just so happened to be Brazilian.
In a wild twist, however, Brady is making night music with other Brazilian supermodel Isabella Settanni and does that name sound familiar?
Let us turn to Whiskey Riff for clarity:
Settanni appears to be an avid surfer and snowboarder, and is reportedly the daughter of Junior and Carla Settanni, who own and operate a successful food distribution business. She’s also been linked to a few other athletes, most notably Brazilian surfer Gabriel Medina and pro skateboarder Felipe Foguinho.
Et voila.
The Dark Knight’s ex.
But how wowza is the eskimo fraternity of Brady x Medina x Slater?
The term “eskimo brother,” of course, referring to different men who have bought the same woman flowers and chocolates as is the custom in Inuit Nunangat.
Brady Medina Slater a fine name for a baby boy, coincidentally.
Light candles, please.
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
Cave Cousins spelunking steamy Brazilian Grotto’s
there’s no way these people are real yeah? This is A I yeah
Who’s Kelly Slater. Doesn’t even come up in predicative text
try an HIV test
Don’t test me cunt
Always kinda weird when the man in the relationship has had more plastic surgery than the woman.
The lads like smashing that fogo de chão.
Did Alanis Morrisette just sing “Oh Che can you see…..” as the opening of the Star Spangled Banner for Game 7.
frickin canadians
If she did, it’s probably because she doesn’t want Castro’s bastard son to throw her in prison.
Its what Gmed rejects that makes Gmed the best!!
neymar’s advances don’t apply
Joe Turpel married the widow of Sion Milosky ( r.i.p. ).
Pat O’Connell married the widow of Todd chesser ( r.i.p. ).
Who’s Next?
I’ve always wondered if those gals felt the need to lasso a milder, meeker man the 2nd time around. Although rumor has it Patchy O is sporting a python
Nah just massive balls I heard!!
Xox
Gosh, also in developing news I am now apparently an eskimo brother with me oldest and best mate. I said some very disparaging things about her that I would never share with anyone but him which he found hilarious and now seemingly out of nowhere they are an item. It’s sooooo awkward.
She is definitely going to be saying shit things about me.
Xox
that gonna be awkward – mateship gone??? thoughts and prayers xxx
Ohhh man, it has certainly been altered. It’s heavy as fuck. Known him since I was 13.
Xox
You’re mates. So someone has to be The Skipper, and someone has to be Gilligan. If I were you, I’d choose to be The Skipper. After all, the S.S. Minnow is already grounded.
Does that make Dez the professor?
I think DR is more Thurston Howell III.
I think I’m Alf. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
lock up yer cats, BGers!
Haha I forgot he had a taste for that!
Xox
Alf hearts Pussy
fuck heavy for sure!!!
Man, it’s a real doozy. But I have done worse and have reached the karmic lows.
Xox
you can repent with me and CB on the beach – maybe we can baptise you in one of the drains? Born again
Oh mate way ahead of you towards a path of redemption.
The sentiment is appreciated though.
Xox
His loss, your gain xx
really looking forward to the piece outlining all the culinary gems you’ve uncovered in NYC – and resolving the debate over which establishment is the true original best pizza on earth spot doesn’t count.
dats bar stool daevid
skank
The “smell my finger” jokes must fly with reckless abandon amongst these Eskimo brothers
OTTO got it right? (hand shaka from Chas)
The realm of surf adjacency has suffered greatly with the departure of E Lo.
not to be confused with J-Lo, J-Law, J-Gard, J-Sea, J-Flo, J-Depp, J-Annis, J-FK, jr, J-Bezos, J-Mamoa… all of whom are still making headline waves. ((next article: (“Which J is E Lo harrassing now))?”
correction: J-See…
JZ
we all hate rap~
search jackmeoff…
and this is considered surf news?
or tabloid fodder?
is surf (culture) dead?
I don’t understand how you don’t think that Kelly Slater and Gabriel Medina being brothers is not surf news.
in the Final (thank jeebus) WorldSurfLeague Trestle Classic Classic, we find a three man heat: KS > GM > TB. TB has priority! Isabella is in the stands. which goat is she cheering on? “I want KK!”
All the shark stories over the last month must be balanced with an uptick in Gisele x Slater stories
No, satire and cynicism is a surfer staple