The Package has arrived.

Sid Abbruzzi is surfing’s patron saint. The spot has been held, for the last thirty years or such, by Saint Christopher, who has long been venerated by “athletes, mariners, ferrymen, and travelers.” The amalgamation, I guess, extending to surfers but sharing a saint is not the same as having a saint and ours is now Sid.

The Water Brother should need no introduction. The fact that he might, simply testimony to his holiness. But we will get in to that later. For now, you should examine your heart. If you do not know of Sid Abbruzzi, you should deeply question your own attachment to this surfing life. If you do know of Sid Abbruzzi, well, I don’t have much to add here except for the time I met him at Surf Expo in Florida.

It was the year that the former surf personality Ashton Goggans decided the look du jour was tightly rolled yellow beanie and delicately oiled beard, in Florida, but never mind that. Sid had stopped by the Florida Surf Film Festival booth with a crew of Rhode Island heavies, all tattooed and tough. I immediately recognized him as something entirely unique. He said, “Hey, come back to our hotel room with us.”

Intimidated, but with no other option, I accepted.

Now, I had no idea what this hotel room would hold but showing weakness in the face of true ideological belief is tantamount to complete human failure. Sid had an aura. A look. A piercing seriousness and commitment that is altogether rare in our western world. I’d seen it in the eyes of Hezbollah commanders and Yemeni freedom fighters.

I saw it here.

Turns out, I was right but in ways I’d never expected.

I’ll get to that later too. For now, though, a film has been made about Saint Sid’s life. It’s not out yet but I’ve seen it. Twice. So enraptured by the first go through that I replayed, from the beginning, for the wife, immediately after.

She wept too.

The official trailer dropped seconds ago. The film, itself, out mid July.

Gird your loins.

The death of fierce independence.

Almost one year ago, to the day, surf fans were shocked after surf adjacent website The Inertia was sold to publishing giant AllGear Digitals for a deal worth reported millions.

“Building The Inertia has been one of the most rewarding journeys I can imagine,” founder Zach Weisberg, a Virginia Beach surfer who was inspired to launch what would become the template for the vulnerable adult learner tsunami, said at the time. “Since day one, we’ve committed to forging great relationships, sharing valuable stories from unique perspectives in a culture we love, and challenging ourselves to embrace new opportunities.”

The aforementioned surf fans, though, worried if “corporate culture” would invade the fierce independence for which The Inertia was known.

It now appears those fears were justified.

Days ago, the “definitive voice of the outdoors” posted the think piece “Surf Fan Who Wanted Important Contest Held at Big Barreling Left Angry It’s Being Held at Big Barreling Left” wherein “die hard surf fan” Nick Ramos was quoted reacting to the World Surf League moving Finals Day from Lower Trestles to Cloudbreak.

“If I didn’t find a way to be unhappy with the current circumstance then I’d have to sit and enjoy them,” he said. “Sure, they met my personal demands. And I do feel entitled to having my exact view of what’s best for professional surfing validated. But what these corporate kooks don’t get is that a surf fan’s job — the job of a true core surfer — is to live in a state of discontent no matter what.”

While The Inertia’s involuntarily celibate readership enjoyed the scathing wit to which they’d become accustomed, they were left gasping for air at the end when arriving at a disclaimer.

Editor’s Note: If you didn’t figure out this was satire within the first few sentences, shoot us a note and we’ll immediately reply with a response making fun of you.

While also flashing a devil-may-care ethos, it does present a very slippery slope and might hint at AllGear’s meddling. Of course, The Inertia is scandal prone but that’s what makes it so savage.

Dark days, in any case, for a free press.

"Using data from the Australian Sports Commission, which shows there are more than 720,000 active adult Australian surfers..."

“Money can buy material things, but real happiness must be truly earned,” proto-hippe Jean-Jacques Rousseau wrote back in 1750 and the sentiment has since been baked into fact. It is assumed that the likes of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck with their multi-millions and gigantic homes are miserable and, frankly, it seems thus.

Well, in an absolute shock to grumpy locals, the largest study of its kind found that surfing increases happiness, at least in the United Kingdom.

“I’m always smiling, and the joy I feel for the rest of the day after being at The Wave has made me a much nicer person to be around according to my wife,” one Welshman told researchers. “To say (surfing) has changed my later life is an understatement,” a Scot added.

Now, in a striking Commonwealth connection, it has been revealed that Australian surfers inject wads of cash into the economy each and every year.

Per Phys.org:

The researchers found surfing injects almost $3 billion into the Australian economy each year. The research is published in Marine Policy. Co-authors Asad Yusoff from ANU and Mark Lane and Katja Verreydt from Surfing WA contributed to the findings.

“We asked participants how much they spent on domestic travel and how often they’d traveled to go surfing during the last 12 months, but also how much they spent on new boards, wetsuits and other surf-related accessories,” survey lead Dr. Ana Manero, from ANU, said.

“Our research shows adult surfers spend more than $3,700 per person, each year.

“Using data from the Australian Sports Commission, which shows there are more than 720,000 active adult Australian surfers, we found that surfing injects at least $2.71 billion into the economy each year.

“This is a conversative figure at best because it doesn’t factor in overseas visitors who travel to Australia to go surfing or money generated through professional surfing.”

So, if money buys surfing and surfing equals happiness then Jean-Jacques Rousseau has finally been dubbed a hack.

Viva la revolution.