"Surfing with such amazing women and coming out on top—there's nothing better."
The undisputed Queen of Pipeline and Donald Trump fan-gal (“That’s my president!”) Moana Jones Wong has won the tiara and sash for best girl surfer at Rip Curl’s Padang Padang contest.
Padang Padang, as most readers will know, lets a man, or gal, in easy before going straight for the jugular. A soft hiss before the explosion. It’s a wave for surfers who have an objective relish for danger, a chevalier-esque urge to prevail in battle.
Bali, too, is a study of contrasts.
On a day when Padang Padang wasn’t its usual hair-raising self, Moana Jones Wong employed her trademark long, slow fades to beat a real tough field, which included Fiji Pro winner, the Canadian teen prodigy Erin Brooks.
“This win is unreal,” Moana Jones Wong said. “The conditions were challenging, but that’s what makes it so satisfying. You never really know what the ocean’s going to throw at you, and that’s the beauty of it. Surfing with such amazing women and coming out on top—there’s nothing better. Padang Padang is just magical.”
Moana Jones Wong came into the broader spotlight a couple of years back when her wildly dominant performance against the best surfers in the world at Pipeline a couple of years back made her, briefly, the toast of the surfing.
And last year, Jones Wong was slammed for wrong-think by Surf Equity, a “non-profit, which accepts all races, cultures, sexual orientations, gender identities, national origins, abilities, socioeconomic backgrounds, gender expressions, countries of origin, ethnicities, religions and genders”.
Ironic, then, Moana Jones Wong should win an event sponsored by Rip Curl, a company lashed as cowards by brave transgender campaigner Roxy Tickle, whose journey we featured a couple of days back.
In the men, Noa “Horse” Deane beat his childhood hero Joel Parkinson and current beau Mason Ho surprising no one except himself.
“I never thought I would win,” Noa said. “My intention was pure fun and surfing with my hero Mason Ho. It turns out I was the winner, and this is the best feeling ever.”
Two Wongs don’t make a Wright cause she only goes left….
Having the name “Moana” and growing up on the Northshore creates a sense of entitlement rarely seen in Women’s sports. She’s not scared to tell you she’s the best but still can’t make the tour. “Queen of Pipeline” is a heavy crown even for a 5’2″ Demi-God cartoon character. God forbid you drop in front of her at Foodland with her crown on, “Don’t you know who I am” you’re about to be cancelled…
Hey, she’s Disney Princess and gives no fucks.
Fuck Disney!
The end of Democracy as we know it…..thank goodness.
First Moana, then Sacks, Musk, Kennedy, Tulsi and now the most famous surfer in the world; Zuckerberg.
I’ll give the Kennedys. They were actually monsters.
Never get a Hawaiian, Welsh, Chinese food plate lunch with Moana. She’ll chew your ear off about how they’re all equally good.
Or have the traditional ‘pineapple lamb in 5 spice’ combo…
You sick, sick man
https://youtu.be/SIaFtAKnqBU?si=duDuvL1vkIWqcy96
Will a surf journalist somewhere please ask Mason a string of hard hitting questions about politics, sexuality, religion and video it? I don’t care what he says, it will bring us all closer together. Proper entertainment has that kind of power. Mason for President 2028!
I’ll break it down for you-
– I don’t vote but if I did it would be the person federally legalizing weed.
– I like chicks but there was this one time in Bali.
– I have cross a tattoo’d on me just like my sister. Its in a secret spot. Jesus Christ is our lord and savior.
Just add a bunch of awesome hand jives and keep you eyes open as wide as possible while ending each sentence and you nailed it. Oh also he would say something so profoundly true that we all rethink our day and the world ends up being a better place for 2 minutes.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
🤣
LOL
oh this has legs
we need a blank template of this.
The little overloaded dingy doing laps of the finalists mid heat while throwing beer cans was gold. Gut feeling is that it wasn’t the Surf Equity crew, but I could be wrong?
You’re definitely not Wong.