Culturewash too!
Surf fans have had trouble sleeping for the past two nights after the World Surf League announcement that it would be hosting a Championship Tour stop in Abu Dhabi. The petro-kingdom, a manmade wonderland featuring islands shaped like palm trees, indoor skiing facilities and gleaming towers lovingly built by the hands of Pakistani slaves now also stars a Kelly Slater surf pool producing the “longest barrel in the world” while precious desalinized water romantically evaporates into the hazy Arabian sky.
I have done multiple tours of the fine United Arab Emirates, first going in 2002 after spending three months in Yemen, even wakeboarding on the Persian/Arabian Gulf. A gorgeous slick of oil making a rainbow on the water’s surface.
Alas, it is the only sort of rainbow allowed as same sex relationships are criminalized and it doesn’t really rain.
Which brings us back to our World Surf League. The “global home of surfing” has positioned itself as the most environmentally forward organizations on earth what with professional surfers planting a shrub in Western Australia and others planting a coral in Tahiti. The World Surf League’s One Ocean initiative, for example, promises to focus on “WSL priorities of coastal restoration and conservation, eliminating plastic and taking climate action.”
Huzzah.
The League is also at the bleeding edge of equity, groundbreakingly supporting LGBTQIA+ surfer Tyler Wright in “using her platform as a World Champion to express a message of inclusivity” by affixing the Pride flag to her singlet. “We believe surfing is for everyone and are incredibly proud of our athletes,” the statement continued.
How, then, the World Surf League will greenwash and culturewash the Abu Dhabi Pro the most exciting bit of moral gymnastics since Sarah Jessica Parker and besties graced the desert.
You go, girl.
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Abu Dhabi Pro/Am (women)
So are we gonna do the same song and dance if they ever hold a contest in Waco? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_in_Texas
I’m old enough to remember ASP Surfers boycotting events in South Africa. Will today’s WSL Surfers have the same principals? Suck it WSL. No HamSammish!!!!
Oh the world of hypocrisy! Let’s all criticize them who create global warming while typing on computers made of plastic and blood lithium batteries, for an audience of cellphones that don’t last more than two years. Let’s all drink Saudi oil while vilifying it. Hypocrisy is a beautiful thing, isn’t that right, Mr. Smith?
My illegal chop chop is made by Chinese cunts plowing oiugas into the soil. Should I give that up too ?!
I mean, they do kidnap Pakistanis and use them as slave labor. I feel like that’s more of an issue here? At least we fought a civil war over it, ya know?
Living in the system and creating it are two different things homie
I hope Caroline doesn’t have to wear a burkini!
Looks like a great opportunity to sell my eco boards made from reclaimed wood which are wrapped in vegan leather instead of toxic fiberglass.
Not gonna happen….. Try me.
Here it comes as I have predicted from a long way out. The beginning of the new wave pool WSL era, or whoever they eventually sell it onto. Taken their time but once it starts it won’t be stopping. Also if the Olympics renews surfing same with that. Teahupoo will be the last ocean surfing Olympic event ever. It’s the wave pool from here on out. No more lay days and wholesale wasted time. Bliss.
Im believe at least one of the Brazilians on tour will take a stand against such an oppressive muslim regime, especially considering their strong faith in Jesus.
Great article! 👍… Call the hypocrisy out!… Here for it!
Because you disagree with another culture does not make that culture wrong , it simply has differing values to yours , thinking your cultural values are superior is a warning sign of inground racisim , and it works in both directions.
I’m waiting for the more affordable wave pool whose construct is above-ground. Access to resources brings equity to both poor racists and the lesser thans.
Are all cultures equal?
Ahh cricket that is fir you to decide.
I’ll give you a tip, they aren’t.
Hmmm what if you couldn’t vote or drive and your spouse had 5 others? What if you were covered and hushed, repressed and blocked from information?
That’s from your cultural perspective cricket, reverse the thought and then it’s from a different cultural perspective, understand yourself to find the answer.
Okay I know I’m gonna sound mega kooky right now, but since I started surfing just over a year ago, I’ve fallen MADLY in love with it, changed my entire workout routine to cater for body-weight strength and endurance gone as far as El Salvador to surf.
I was even able to quit vaping cause I wanted better cardio and surfing is way better than cheap dope.
So I’ve had this dumb dream of wanting to surf Nazare in the next 10 years or so by surfing at least 3 times a week, staying in shape, etc….but how realistic is it? Is it just a wet dream?
TL;DR: how realistic is it for a newbie to surf Nazare in 10 years, with only 1 year of experience under the belt?
Yup, go for it.
Bring all your friends too.
Ensure both your credit card and PIN are kept safe with João on the beach.
Haha, saw this posted on reddit, thought I might get a few more bites here.
I didn’t think you were That Guy.
Lol! Thank You, I needed that one. Tell them they don’t need ten years, just a few months.
Can’t wait to fight Conor McGregor, I punched a bag once
If Tyler competes
And the government let her
Both are hypocrites
You know what Beachgrit needs? Ben Marcus.
Jen Marcus
This site needs a fresh makeover. The Jen See Surfline Man schtick is sour. Always was actually.
Can we please get a well researched, professionally written, insightful article on actual surfing? Please!
Bwahahaha!! Funniest thing i’ve ever read here!
You get what you pay for
Did you not find all that in Chas’s article about the Surfer re boot?
I’m only here cos everything on Stab is behind a paywall and there’s literally no other surf news out there. Pretty fucking wild. If the WSL magically dies then so to will Beachgrit – pretty sure we’re all only here to hate scroll the comments on anything WSL related. Wish there was something else but oh well
Stab costs fuck all, and there’s no actual surf news here.
Stabfriends is a promo code that works sometimes but yeah I refuse to pay those guys usually
Ah but you’re forgetting those random Surfline headlines of ‘South Coast’ this and ‘Autumn’ that and you have no idea what country or hemisphere they’re on about
Slave Pool. ™
Chas, it’s Persian Gulf. This penchant for calling it the Arabian Gulf is propaganda from the Gulf Arabs and in fact if you are going to call anything the Arabian Gulf it’s the old name for the Red Sea.
Gulf Arabs are the worst. I know it’s passe to frame the Iranians as the baddies but if you except the Clerics running the show (who are fuckwits), Iranians are always way nicer, way better educated than the goat fuckers across the gulf.
I was hoping I’d get a nibble! Gulf Arabs…….. oh man.
Aww Dad!!!
Boys from the South have an even better racial slur for them.
Are there @surfarabs?
Ramzi?
Remember that guy on tour Jihad Khodr? He was blowing up
The WSL marketing department has reached out to me for some promotional ideas, this is what I’ve come up with so far.. https://uploads.disquscdn.c… https://uploads.disquscdn.c… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
A.I. has a little “hand and foot problem”.
Indeed. It handles breasts adequately though..
with 6 nipples?
I feel totally coordinated.
unleßs
im outside the sands in Griffith street Coolangatta at 2 am than things become a little di
OP Pro burkini contest
What about TGSMITU ?
Will they screen it at the comp ?
Or is it lacking in goats ?
(the real farmyard variety thought to be popular amongst Muslim men in that region, not the 59 yr old ex surf champ that just bought himself another magazine cover)
oooohhh, Chas – let’s not forget wooz also OWN, I mean OWN the award for the most fucked 7.5 mins of broadcast sports ever !
That’s right the Miley Pier instigated Tyler Wright Wokeist Fisting Festival broadcast from the golden sands of Cabarita. 7.5mins, 450 seconds of nothing …..
I remember!!
Wright’s heart races as she kneels, alone and apart from her peers.
“I get chills just picturing it,” says Selema Masekela, a longtime action sports broadcaster and one of the most high-profile Black men in surfing. “My friend, Chelsea, a Black surfer from Santa Cruz, texted me, ‘Are you watching the surf contest? You won’t believe what Tyler is doing for us.’ I am not kidding, I cried. I never thought I would see any top surfer be brave enough to take a stand.”
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit
Fuck, Tom Carroll was braver than that obnoxious simp.