Surf world in mourning after Griffin Colapinto and Gabriel Medina fail to make betting odds as Jennifer Lopez’s next beau

Two most eligible bachelors left out in the cold.

We surfers, we dancers upon the ocean, used to be considered the sexy ideal. Skin bronzed by sun, brined by salt, shoulder and pectoralis major toned from stroking through the seas, devil-may-care attitudes honed from years of throwing caution to the wind. Desirable specimens.

But not anymore.

Though you have certainly followed the rise, fall, re-rise and re-fall the romance between the multi-hyphenate superstar Jennifer Lopez and the actor-director Ben Affleck. Their first engagement coming in 2002, ending in 2004. Their subsequent re-kindling, a few years back was followed by two extravagant weddings and much pledges of eternality.

Alas, it is officially over with Lopez applying for divorce days ago. Ben Affleck seen out and about glum, per the usual. But hope over the horizon? Fresh amour bubbling from a heretofore unknown font or maybe even a known one like Alex Rodgriguez?

BetOnline just opened odds on who would win the Grammy-award winner’s hand next. Eminem has the best odds at +800 followed by The Weeknd (+1000), Matt McConaughey (+1600), Drake (+3300), JD Vance (+10000) with Donald J. Trump and P. Diddy bringing up the rear (+25000).

Missing entirely, any surfer.

While John John Florence, Jack Robinson and Filipe Toledo are all attached, world number 2 Griffin Colapinto and the current most interesting surfer in teh world Gabriel Medina are not. In times past, both would have made the list with decent odds too, seeing as surfer meat used to be irresistible.

These days, though, it doesn’t even make the joke section.

Sigh.

Should we open our own bookmaking operation, here, and set odds on surfers, and their various proclivities, in the wild?

Something to think about.