"There are no demons to vanquish, no apparent self-loathings even with a tattooed lion covering his heart."
Filipe Toledo is a gift of which we are not worthy. The best small wave surfer on the planet has thrilled surf fans for years both on and off the sea. His ability to turn 2ft waves into art truly unparalleled. His refusal to paddle when things get lightly uncomfortable now the stuff of legend.
Toledo is, of course, a two-time World Surf League champion, winning both titles at li’l Lower Trestles, but it is the haunting of Teahupo’o and Pipeline, his historic 0.00 heat totals, being schooled by geriatrics, an Olympic performance that will go down in history for its timidity even as a 13-year-old Chinese wrestler who had never been to Teahupo’o sent it, that are as much a part of his fascinating narrative.
We imagine he cares. I imagine he cares. Those times in life where I have not pitched over the ledge, as it were, bedevil me even decades later. JP Currie wrote of Toledo’s Olympic no show, once the surf turned into a deadly paradise, “With all sincerity, I hope he is ok, because I can scarcely imagine a greater swing from high to low. Yesterday, his demons had been vanquished, silenced and sent back to that dark chamber in the pit of his soul.Today, they are back upon his shoulder, wailing and cackling into the shot blood of his eyeballs. And I fear that when it’s all said and done, it won’t be two world titles and some of the most dynamic surfing ever done that is Filipe Toledo’s legacy, but simply a handful of waves he refused to paddle for.
Except for Currie, me, maybe you are all wrong.
Toledo does not care. There are no demons to vanquish, no apparent self-loathings even with a tattooed lion covering his heart, staring at him every time he dries off after showering. Rigid social media control, a defiant father and a chorus of sycophanies have allowed the 29-year-old to occupy a space lighter, fluffier than the finest Parisian croissant.
He can, without satire, post phone camera to self and make sincere claim that future Olympic events should be conducted in a wave tank.
Imagine that gall.
Do you envy?
Complete freedom from the shackles of noble, though maybe antiquated, ideals?
Something to ponder.
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Sometimes I feel that merely getting out of bed in the morning deserves a good ole’ Lion-on-chest tattoo.
Except I fucking hate tattooos.
light my marlboro will ya? cowboy!
I started calling him “pee pee” a while back, before my partner started to watch surfing, she asked why I call him “pee pee” and I explained that he pisses his pants in big stuff and his name is philepe….. Pee pee. She thought I was being harsh at the time. Time has told a different story however. And I stand vindicated. The poor state of the pee pee, shows that he’s a shower and not a grower.
I owe Bexy a beer xx
No worries
It just appeared in my feed
Been waiting a while. Was worth it.
have you been injurded? call us at 1-9000-victim…for all other inquiries call the Lifeguards/
https://youtu.be/E1kQYAa4BZ4?si=2T9kuBjpPIHFGUFX
release me from my cuffs and spliefs…NICE FIND!
let’s mine gold, silver, copper, lithium and plastic at loss and losing markets world wide…
The problem with pip is his ever present Soccer Dad. There is no grit there, you need grit to be a true champion. you need your father to abandon you, like to have real grit… like JJF and Medina. The problem with Pip is we never hear from him. We only hear from his father, Pip has no voice of his own. He lives in his father’s shadow. It was probably never he has dream to be the world champion. It was his fathers’.
Stab just released How Surfers get paid where Mr Respect himself Billy Kemper admits to reneging on a deal to split the prize pot of an event because he won. Stab have closed the comments section!
yes, I noticed today that the comments had been suddenly closed. Billy Kemper be catching the heat for being a knob
Shocked that such a righteous and God fearing man like Billy Claimper would openly admit to being a twat
I’m more shocked that Jimmy admitted to knowing the contents of a Stab story, and that the comments were closed.
As that would mean he must have a Stab Premium Subscription.
The shame, oh the shame.
Though there is hope he got it as a gift from a well-meaning, but misguided, friend or relative.
As a certain gossip columnist might say, light a candle…
I admit it! God damn you cunts never miss a trick around here! It’s a great series in general!
I’m with you JS, looking forward to watching this new one
Drop a bootleg of it in the comments here and I’ll give it a go
For your penance, please share your log in info for others.
😆
Yes this too, I had thought everyone in this den of heathens was better than that. I’ll pray for Jimmy’s Stab Premium account holder’s soul.
Fuck, no way. I haven’t watched it yet. That is fucked.
Answers why in the Padang story comments…
just read that string, agree with you about moderating the over the line comments, not sure why they couldn’t take that route, not like they don’t have a dozen stringers over there who could fill the role while SM out of pocket with new dad stuff (as he should be).
No shit? That’s lame af , what a guy.
real surf sites shut down the stories but never the comments
ya’ all…here’s the disclaimer…sign it mo fo’s
Real surf sites, shit down the comments but never close down shit.
Yeah I watched it last night (very good episode} and saw a few comments starting to heat up about Billy. Woke up to comments gone.
Next time screenshot it and post here
Ultra hard revenge candy. You’re going to passively aggressively grind this one into the dust.
The 2024 US Open of Surfing is doing its level best at being the most unwatchable event ever assembled in the history of man. I tuned in twice and tapped out within 3 minutes. It amounts to watching 4 people bobbing around the windswept ocean while Turpel talks story and Mitch makes noises. Full blown AIDS would be a better time. If there’s even 5 people on the entire planet that watched the entire broadcast today- that weren’t paid to -I’d be legitimately amazed.
Three articles back Pip said Gabriel was swindled etc etc.
But in the same article he says this —
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Yeah well, it doesnt appear that he’s been practicing what he’s preaching…
P.S.
Does anyone know if he’s in Paris now ?
(apparently even the losers are meant to go to the closing ceremony)
Heck, the NZ’ers have been sight-seeing there for a few days already…
Let’s hope they are more discrete at purchasing than Aussie lawyers hockey players. Oh the shame.
Never one to waste dead air, Joe Turpel is on a rampage. After NBC forced a muzzle on him during the Olympics, now he is taking it out on the viewers of this shit show at HB. My God. The WSL just couldn’t help themselves, and has wasted no time going right back the boring old formulaic drivel that we have scorned for years. Revolt!
Dear Shazz,
You know I respect you, but I think you’re taking this all wrong.
I for one am completely impressed by Toledo.
as a person that finds it very difficult to surf small waves, guys who rip the bag out of 1-2 ft. grovel amaze me. how do they generate that speed, gouge massive turns, tuck so tight into teeny tiny barrels and do twisting twisty things 6 ft. in the air above a 1 ft. wave? AMAZING!
in most sports you have players that excel in specific discipline(s).
there are Pipe Specialists, Chopes Specialists, Cloudbreak specialists, Big wave specialists….but how many guys do you know are small wave specialists and can win multiple world titles based on that?
that alone is much more impressive than someone charging death pits. all you need to charge is gros oeufs……..grosses boules.
I mean,whether you are President of The U.S A. or the President of Liechtenstein, are you not still a President? Currently not the best comparison, but you get my meaning.
It’s not impressive at all it’s a glaring indicator that the schedule was run in shit waves and conditions and culminated in a finals day at a small wave that just happens to be filipes home break. For years and years we had a format that only allowed complete surfers to win world titles. Name another world champ in the last 20 years other than Filipe that isn’t a solid performer in heavy waves? Nothing impressive about filipes titles other than the individual highlight performances like the one at jbay that one year. He surfs incredible in small waves but that shouldn’t make a world champ
Lighten’ up Francis
I’m being sarcastic.
You’ve been simping for Pip for years, and repeatedly saying that he can charge and will prove himself, so I’m not so sure you are being sarcastic.
blah, blah , blah.
go make a sandwich, woman
Filipe’s weakness is not about larger waves (he’s done well in many venues), but hollow waves (where he has always sucked)
Felipe just doesn’t want to end up looking like Keala Kennely
Happily married?
Face…..meet Reef. Reef…..meat Face
gay news…muddled~muffy
The surfing world title is the ‘all around’ best. You should have to excel in everything, especially barrels. To be universally respected you have to be universally great.
what would you know? your a non-competitor.
take tongue, place in cheek.
the subtle, implicit, ‘my balls are way too big to fit into small waves’ was a nice touch.
In all honesty Rocks, I think it’ much easier to ride big barrels than small ones.
just can’t get the drive and pump in small tight barrels as you can in big ones.
Nothing to do with big balls, but don’t like them being squeezed too tight in those tight crouches either.
Khole spinning, putting up points!
Noone hops like Kolohe, ‘cept Kanoa.
Kolohe, next heat!
General comment about the olympics: I wish rugby 7’s was popular in the US. Perfect pacing for my social media fried attention span.
No live thread for the US Open? Looks like some solid, shin-high surf out there
You should be down there with Otto lighting garbage cans on fire and throwing beer bottles off the pier at surfers. Have some HB spirit.
too early for riots—those usually happen on the weekends
Show those weekend warrior rioters how the bloody pros do it
thought maybe you were kidding about shin high – nope!
Mitch just said it’s improving!
K Wall assures that the southern hemi juice is on the rise. Waist high with occ waist high + by Friday. Stay tuned
cooking!!!
you rarely need to use hyperbole in describing the mostly shit summer conditions of HB
Fuck it’s all-time right now too. K Hole and Ryan Huckabee trading 1 footers while Kaipo and Mitchell Salazaaar drop witty banter and spicy play-by-play they’re known for. Froth levels maxing.
I lasted half a heat. Mitch and Kaipo are more insufferable to listen to than watching dignity-robbing chop hops.
Filipe seems to be playing the “dont hate the player, hate the game card” and in this case I hate both the platyer and the game for making it possible to be a world champ without being the best in all conditions.
OPEN THREAD: COMMENT LIVE U.S. OPEN OF SURFING
Ah yes, kaipo and Mitch calling the HB heats “with tons of activations”
Aural Guantanamo.
God, I fucking hate activations.