"You’re spiralling on it. You get so lost in it. I don’t know what I want to be. It’s crazy how it just stops you."
Can you believe it’s already been there years since BeachGrit outed the world champion surfer Barton Lynch as a filthy loot-the-rich Communist bastard, which you can read here, and which was swiftly refuted, here?
Barton Lynch, an energetic sixty one year old with one fake hip and another on its way, famously clinched the 1988 world title at perfect eight-to-twelve-foot Pipeline, denying silly Tom Carroll a third crown.
He was the sport’s most popular broadcaster before being dumped by the WSL for his role in the activist group Voices4Choices which, correctly as it turns out, questioned vaccine mandates and the role of government during the COVID pandemic.
Always in a good humour, Barton’s painstaking observation skills re: surfing are clear in his podcast series The Stoked Bloke. As an interviewer, he has the ability to shake loose his guests inhibitions without the need to swing a heavy hammer.
Barton allows his guests to settle into familiar foxholes while his questions circle overhead.
Today’s interview guest John John Florence reveals the paralysis he felt amid the tension of competition.
“You’re spiralling on it. You go to stand up on a wave in a heat and, I don’t even know what to do right now. You get so lost in it. The year before last year, I had a couple of heats where I was so tense and caught up in the storylines of what I was and the injuries, all these things mixed up. I couldn’t even move. I couldn’t even think about standing up on a wave and going, ‘I’m going to do a turn.’ What turn do I do? I don’t know what I want to be. It’s crazy how it just stops you.”
Essential.
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Then again, “party hard, surf hard, everything’s fine” might’ve been the advice Dane and Kolohe needed.
Your ego is not your amigo …ya See?
arent you the cunt that said LA deserved the fires?
Our very own Jerry Fallwell fuck off
Its cool to see Bartons metamorphoses, from somewhat conservative non descript competitor to full on character. love it. Surfed with him alot in the eighties, always gracious, helped me transform from hopelessly average, to hopefully average. good fucken guy.
Sad hearing Dane recount that story of bolting from a contest in panic. Probably would’ve been a simple re-framing exercise away from never quite ever retiring.
Where/when did Dane say that?
How Surfers Get Paid, maybe.
Respectfully speaking, are you retarded?
I was just gifted three large box’s of surf mags.. May not be here for a while.. Need to move away from this beach towel drenched in woe is me surf pro sperm spew..
Bro…Once all the reef ads are stuck to other pages you will be back.
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JJF would be a great bodyboarder i’m sure. Do not fear the transition, oh goatee goat.
Shut up
fuck you and your five syllable words, Sigmund
how many of these “professionals” need hugs for the ravages of competitive professional surfing?
we are people. that means we struggle, we suffer, we lament. we hold 10,000 sorrows in our hands & hearts but also 10,000 joyful triumphs in the same places.
at a certain point, is it OK to acknowledge another’s sorrows but also inform them it’s probably for the better if they addressed them in a non-public sphere?
cuz otherwise you could end up sounding pretty fucking self-absorbed and victim-y. whilst being celebrated as such a low key humble dude.
I think he’s just sharing thoughts not necessarily looking for sympathy like Tyler. You don’t have to be down and out, poor, or disadvantaged to feel what he is talking about. It relative to your own situations. More about feeling weight on your shoulders, what it does to you as an individual, and how you deal with that mentally.
This is true, B. Y
Such a beautiful article . There
We don’t say that enough
A couple of heats?
I’m still paralysed after
Forty fucking years
forty will be youth
as age creeps into your bones
not so long from now
Funny how the mostly stoked but often angry bloke self-owned about social media’s pull down the rabbit hole.
Man has to consider his entire life before doing a turn. Incredible.
I fucken hate how commercial Jazzmasters are now.
Xox
get a Jaguar, then
I do I do, I also really need to clear some clutter.
Xox
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or do you prefer J Mascis?
Ha! That’s fucked!
Xox
Get a Mustang!
1968 in Competition Blue lives under the bed! Guitar tech has banned me from dragging it around!
Oh I have a blacked out Japanese Mustang too.
Three Jazzmasters now of varying pedigree.
One filthy Jaguar which is my one true love!
Xox
in 1968 my father bought me a Gibson Les Paul.
I no longer have it. Garage sale bargain.
I’ll leave to there.
Jags a beauty.
As long as ya amp goes to twelve
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that’s one more than eleven…
I blame Tom Verlaine
For making that wretched axe
Sound so fucking good
Gosh we are amongst good people here. Blows my mind.
Xox
my friend has played one forever, finally took the neck off and found it was made on his birthday
We are so back!
Glad to see Trump let you comment again. Its been awhile!
He’s a Swellian guy, that President Trump.
And back better!!
Are still eating the pets?
Cunty if true!
Xox
Do I look Haitian?
You kind of do a bit! What’s better, dog or cat?!
Xox
Well, I’d get the dog to eat the cat, then I’d eat the dog. Michelin Star worthy Haitian take on the turducken
Hahaha, you are fucked up.
Xox
You disease you . Thank God you’re back
It’s a chronic condition
Why now?
To Make Beach Grit Great Again.
What was it like for you cumming 24/7 every single day since November 5th though?
Invigorating.
And I don’t have any spare tissues left for your tears flowing 24/7 since November 5th. Just use your sleeve.
I guess the difference is that I accepted the results of the election and didn’t storm the Capitol on January 6th. Congratulations on your recent pardon though.
Biden pardoned everyone that’s voted for him since 2014. I know you’re counting your blessings for that.
If I’d ever actually voted for Biden, I might be grateful for that.
Did you vote for Kamala?
Vote for someone who made the call to suppress exculpatory evidence when she was in the San Francisco DA’s office? Nope. Voted for myself like I have in every other election.
You’re more like President Trump than you might be willing to admit. He voted for himself too.
Except that I’m competent at what I do
That’s for us to decide
Can convicted felons still vote?
Felons can vote in Florida once they’ve completed their sentence. In the case of Trump, at the moment of sentencing, his sentence was complete.
Poor Cum Torrent was well nigh inconsolable. It seemed his tears would never stop! I was torn between pity and laughter.
Welcome back Otts. You missed the post-election meltdowns here. It was Top LEL.
Thanks Occ.
I can only imagine. Too bad i can’t get internet on my satellite phone. Would have made for funny story hour around the campfire.
Hour? It went on for weeks! 😆
Good!