Surfers giving up waves to ride bikes
Pedal Mafia or Hayden Shapes, right, and, left, a diff kinda big blue.

Bizarre reason surfers are fleeing waves en masse for cycling

“Surf culture is weird. When I was surfing it felt angry and moody. After a few months I stopped altogether and never really did it again."

Around seven years ago, a filmmaker pal who had skills that filled me with jealousy and sadness, the ability to go above the lip and weightlessly conquer deep-water sections, one of surfing’s most valuable citizens in a sea of VALS, holstered his five-six for good. 

Luke Farquhar, whom you’ll remember from such BeachGrit classics as the Filipe Toledo film Candid and the Chips Wilson soft board tester Twenty, got turned onto bikes after making a campaign for a pal who owned a bike apparel company. 

“After I was exposed to their cult-like Saturday rides The stereotypes I had in my head were immediately gone and I found myself looking at onshore Sydney shite and becoming angry that my whole weekend was now ruined because of this,” says Farquhar, who just turned forty and is now chasing bike dreams in Mallorca, Spain, with his gorgeous Jewess wife. “Then seeing those same guys at a park drinking long necks having the time of their lives after riding 100km. It had a certain skate hang feel when you see a group of friends hanging out around a rail or stairs with beers in the sun.”

Farquhar qualifies the skate thing. 

“I can’t skate and don’t think anyone should over 25, so thought this would be the next best thing.”

Which isn’t quite true. He learned the art of mid-face airs from ollying curbs in Brisbane.

I ask if there is one specific moment that made you wanna ride more than surf. 

“I surfed for 20 years and would always plan holidays around coastlines. When I realised there was a whole world out there to see that doesn’t have waves and to experience it by bike was when I realised it was better than surf for me. Better in the sense of travel, socialising and being able to be on ground in different cities. I rode with my friend (designer Rama McCabe) from Berlin to Copenhagen in 2019 (first film below) and that was definitely the experience that put the final nail in my surfing coffin. After that trip I rode Melbourne to Sydney, Madrid to Ibiza (second film below) and all these trips outweighed any fun I’ve had surfing.”

The last time Farquhar surfed was three years at the tank in Melbourne. 

“I couldn’t last the full hour because my arms are useless now. But my legs are strong and I felt way more power in my turns.”

Do you miss anything specific about surfing? 

“Pits.” 

How do you view surfing, and surf culture, before and after? 

“Surf culture is a weird one. When I was surfing it felt quite angry and moody especially in Sydney. I loved watching the WSL, but now I can’t tell you anything about it. I still watch some Italo clips, but even that doesn’t do much for me these days.”

What are the parallels between the two sports? You see any similarities or synergies as they might call ’em in an office?

“Like surfing, cycling is also a super selfish sport which you generally find out by people being quite cunty towards materialistic things. Whether it’s the brand of bike or what logo you’re rolling in, the colour of your shoes and height of your socks. Both offer so much fun and social aspects. Surfing is definitely more fun in the moment, cycling is more fun when it’s done.

“Both are weather dependent with tan lines and leave little imagination to the outline of your cock. There are also the content branding and clothes design similarities. Half of the most successful cycling brands (in Australia at least) are from the surf industry or work in the surf biz but are weapons on the bike. Both sports share an overload of shit content of user-generated videos with little substance or any reason for one to stop the endless scroll. For me borrowing…copying… concepts from surfing and using it for cycling has been great. It still seems fresh in a sport where there are still so many rules and traditionalism and feels a bit “controversial”. It’s hard to come up with ideas for something so repetitive. With surfing at least every time someone catches a wave the narrative is sort of reset. But getting them to stay engaged is the hard part. Whereas cycling, if you approach the off-bike parts as important as the on-bike you can keep a journey going in your story telling.”

What’s the diff between biking, surfing?

“Cyclists seem to have a way of connecting with strangers which I don’t think surfing has as much. A cyclist can DM a complete stranger on the other side of the world, meet up, have beers and ride. Maybe surfing has changed but there is no way I would just text another surfer and ask to have a beer and go for a surf without knowing them, just ’causes we both surf. Feels creepy. For some reason, it’s completely normal in cycling.”

Why do so many surfers get turned onto bikes? 

“The longevity in cycling might be greater than in surfing, perhaps that’s related to age. I’d feel pretty stupid at 40 flip-flopping around a shorebreak now. So it still creates a sub-culture and hobby of mind cleansing, like surfing without feeling a little too old to do so.”

What happens to your body when there ain’t no paddling only kicking your stilts up and down? No arms, beautiful legs? 

“Yeah, my pectorals and arms are now super weak. I wouldn’t say they are completely gone but they may as well be. My legs though, hairless and magnificent. It’s like being circumcised. No real need for it, but aesthetically way more pleasing.”

Is biking getting cool, like, with your lil movies, prettier outfits etc? 

“It’s definitely become cooler. A lot of brands are contributing a lot to this, similar to running now. Outfits are getting very nice to wear and have become a massive trend worldwide. They make you look and feel good on the bike or even after the ride down the boozer. It’s a real moment ordering your first pint in Lycra. My cycling films have mixed reviews. Anyone from a surf or skate background seems to enjoy ’em. the more traditional cyclist, not so much.”

Where you think is bike culture on a timeline, same as surfing in the eighties, say? 

“The Tour (UCI not WSL) seems to be as crazy as ever especially seeing races here in Europe. It feels like a WSL event in Brazil but at every single stage. Fans are crazy, cities shut down, people drinking from sunrise screaming, the passion is like nothing I’ve ever seen.”

Culturally?

“Culturally, it’s somewhere between, The Bruce Movie and Dion’s peak.” 

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Chat Live Day Two of the Lexus Pipe Pro!

Come to where the flavor is.

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Little big man (insert) under fire!
Little big man (insert) under fire!

Famed surf filmmaker castigated by mommies for sharing harrowing clip of child getting flogged at Nazare

"I’m sorry but a 12 year old out there in these conditions, why? To prove what?"

Tim Bonython is the universally known, and respected, surf filmmaker who does not miss a big swell almost anywhere in the world. His moving pictures stake awe, and fear, into hearts around the globe. Men and women skiding down great watery mountains, Davey Jones, ever frustrated with the invention of inflatable vests, waiting impatiently below.

Well, a day out at Nazare turned quite harrowing and especially for a young boy, the Belgian Kamiel Deraeve. But let’s allow Bonython to pick the story up here…

What a crazy situation it was as 12 year old @kamielderaeve fell on a wave right in front of us. Then got dragged in towards the rocks. @tocardosoo went to pick him up after getting the biggest flogging. Kamiel missed the pick up (not quite gabbing the sled) and then went on to get 5 bombs on the head and tells us he’s glad he went through it. But as Garrett @mcnamara_s says if you don’t enjoy it, then maybe you need to pack it in and do something else. I don’t think Kamiel enjoyed it but he definitely learned a lot from the experience. This kid has it. It just goes to show you how quick things change when your out there. PS you can see us flying over the back of the wave.. me @ivo_cacao @theseamountains

Impressive, no? Not according online mommies who raged at the abject recklessness of it all.

The actor Francisco Froes leading the charge with…”Until the day he doesn’t make it. What happens if the kid doesn’t make the next pick up? I’m sorry but a 12 year old out there in these conditions, why? To prove what? What happens to the parents if this kid dies out there?”

Followed by…

“Who are the parents who allow a 12 year old to go out with such waves? I am no surfer, but I take it that to deal with such waves it’s not only a matter of skill, but also of experience. And at that age you can’t have too much of it…”

“Gee, somebody thought that was a good idea? Who towed him in? I’m sure he’ll be back. Love the jet ski guys!! Great skills and bravery.”

“Totally not agree with this!!!!!”

“Seems like an unnecessary risk of multiple lives.”

“To me that looks insane sorry.”

“12 years ??? Fuck it… He doesn’t have the strength and lungs for this… Experience has nothing to do with age but muscle capacity.”

Etc.

But where do you find yourself in the debate? Team Vaya Con Dios or Team Mommy?

Please weigh in with personal stories and examples.

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Kelly Slater slams woman online
Kelly Slater's wild online slam of woman who forgot to hit the park brake on her Porsche convertible.

Kelly Slater hailed for “best” and “most savage” online takedown ever!

"When Kelly Slater jumps in you know you are doing something wrong."

The world’s greatest ever surfer has been garlanded with universal praise by online commenters after his “best” and “most savage” Instagram takedown ever.

Slater, who turns fifty-three in just eight days, has long been quick to spike dullards and trolls with his his razor-sharp sword. 

Regular readers of BeachGrit have thrilled to classics like,

“Kelly Slater lashes out at ‘young people’ and common core math while getting answer wrong on Instagram question.” 

“Kelly Slater sparks all-in, multi-front feud pulling in world champs, other pro’s and journalists after posting new comment on Instagram!”

“Blood feud: Slater vs Flat Earthers!” 

“Internet troll checkmates Kelly Slater in war of words hours before champ is bundled out of own event!”

“Controversy explodes online as world’s most thin-skinned surfer Kelly Slater excoriates others for being ‘triggered’ vows vengeance after told to ‘eat a bag of dicks’.”

In todays takedown, we find Slater on the Instagram account of sexy Brit Tom Iconic, an automative content creator who makes videos about high performance cars. 

A screaming woman is filmed chasing her Porsche convertible after presumably slipping it into neutral and taking the park brake off.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Tom Iconic (@tomiconic)

“Don’t read the comments girls,” Tom Iconic warns his almost half-a-million fans, correctly presuming it’ll turn into a gals are stupid free for all.

And, it’s here we find Slater who delivers the unforgettable coup de grâce,

“Forget driving. She can’t even run.”

Kelly Slater comments on tom iconic post.
Kelly Slater, king of the online slam.

A short while ago, the comment had been liked almost three thousand times with fellow commenters heaping praise on Slater’s spontaneous brilliance.

“Savage!! Do it again!”

“When Slater jumps in you know you are doing something wrong.”

“hahaha this is one of the best!”

I’m yet to decide where it stands in the pantheon of Slater greats.

Do you think one of Slater’s best, an unforgettable utterance, or did you only smirk, not laugh?

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Erik Logan (insert) bringing his touch to Backdoor.
Erik Logan (insert) bringing his touch to Backdoor.

The curse of Erik Logan lurks as World Surf League forced to green light unfavorable Lexus Pipe Pro (at some point)

The Wall of Positive Noise officially cracks.

The Wall of Positive Noise has long been a World Surf League staple since its very first days as an organization in 2015 circa 1976. The fledgling “Global Home of Surfing” and its first brave leader, Paul Speaker, was entirely sunny about each and every aspect of its future. Surfing would soon be bigger than the National Football League.

Bigger than The Beatles.

Each subsequent Chief Executive carried the ultra-happy torch. Not a negative word was allowed to pass from the mouths, or fingers, of any WSL employees. Nothing in any shade of grey.

One decade circa five decades on, the League seems to be staggering under the haunting of its penultimate CEO Erik Logan. The Oklahoman with a magical wetsuit of armor burst onto the scene as President of the WSL Studios by way of Oprah Winfrey and quickly did such a poor job that the whole enterprise was shuttered and he was kicked upstairs to the big desk. There Logan sat, making Instagrams of himself, printing t-shirts of torsos and sucking the breath from professional surfers faces until he was viciously fired with the curtest statement ever.

“Erik Logan is no longer with the company.”

Except he is. That oleaginous ghost haunting, turning the Lexus Pipe Pro forecast to such garbage that the Wall of Positive Noise, itself, is seeing damage.

In an overnight message, the World Surf League shared, “With Wednesday, Feb 5 looking like a potential Finals Day, the plan is to run for three straight days starting Monday Feb. 3. But its the ocean so check back for tomorrow’s call at 7:45.”

Never, not once, in the past decade or five has the WSL delivered such a grumpy, grouchy, hopeless memo. A true bummer certain to dump cold water on even the hottest of surf fans.

“But it’s the ocean.”

So bleak.

But what sort of exorcism would the World Surf League need to do in order to chase the smarmy specter away?

I would imagine any thoughts welcome.

Update: Off for today putting dreamed about Wednesday Finals Day in jeopardy. 

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