Kelly Slater slams woman online
Kelly Slater's wild online slam of woman who forgot to hit the park brake on her Porsche convertible.

Kelly Slater hailed for “best” and “most savage” online takedown ever!

"When Kelly Slater jumps in you know you are doing something wrong."

The world’s greatest ever surfer has been garlanded with universal praise by online commenters after his “best” and “most savage” Instagram takedown ever.

Slater, who turns fifty-three in just eight days, has long been quick to spike dullards and trolls with his his razor-sharp sword. 

Regular readers of BeachGrit have thrilled to classics like,

“Kelly Slater lashes out at ‘young people’ and common core math while getting answer wrong on Instagram question.” 

“Kelly Slater sparks all-in, multi-front feud pulling in world champs, other pro’s and journalists after posting new comment on Instagram!”

“Blood feud: Slater vs Flat Earthers!” 

“Internet troll checkmates Kelly Slater in war of words hours before champ is bundled out of own event!”

“Controversy explodes online as world’s most thin-skinned surfer Kelly Slater excoriates others for being ‘triggered’ vows vengeance after told to ‘eat a bag of dicks’.”

In todays takedown, we find Slater on the Instagram account of sexy Brit Tom Iconic, an automative content creator who makes videos about high performance cars. 

A screaming woman is filmed chasing her Porsche convertible after presumably slipping it into neutral and taking the park brake off.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Tom Iconic (@tomiconic)

“Don’t read the comments girls,” Tom Iconic warns his almost half-a-million fans, correctly presuming it’ll turn into a gals are stupid free for all.

And, it’s here we find Slater who delivers the unforgettable coup de grâce,

“Forget driving. She can’t even run.”

Kelly Slater comments on tom iconic post.
Kelly Slater, king of the online slam.

A short while ago, the comment had been liked almost three thousand times with fellow commenters heaping praise on Slater’s spontaneous brilliance.

“Savage!! Do it again!”

“When Slater jumps in you know you are doing something wrong.”

“hahaha this is one of the best!”

I’m yet to decide where it stands in the pantheon of Slater greats.

Do you think one of Slater’s best, an unforgettable utterance, or did you only smirk, not laugh?

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Erik Logan (insert) bringing his touch to Backdoor.
Erik Logan (insert) bringing his touch to Backdoor.

The curse of Erik Logan lurks as World Surf League forced to green light unfavorable Lexus Pipe Pro (at some point)

The Wall of Positive Noise officially cracks.

The Wall of Positive Noise has long been a World Surf League staple since its very first days as an organization in 2015 circa 1976. The fledgling “Global Home of Surfing” and its first brave leader, Paul Speaker, was entirely sunny about each and every aspect of its future. Surfing would soon be bigger than the National Football League.

Bigger than The Beatles.

Each subsequent Chief Executive carried the ultra-happy torch. Not a negative word was allowed to pass from the mouths, or fingers, of any WSL employees. Nothing in any shade of grey.

One decade circa five decades on, the League seems to be staggering under the haunting of its penultimate CEO Erik Logan. The Oklahoman with a magical wetsuit of armor burst onto the scene as President of the WSL Studios by way of Oprah Winfrey and quickly did such a poor job that the whole enterprise was shuttered and he was kicked upstairs to the big desk. There Logan sat, making Instagrams of himself, printing t-shirts of torsos and sucking the breath from professional surfers faces until he was viciously fired with the curtest statement ever.

“Erik Logan is no longer with the company.”

Except he is. That oleaginous ghost haunting, turning the Lexus Pipe Pro forecast to such garbage that the Wall of Positive Noise, itself, is seeing damage.

In an overnight message, the World Surf League shared, “With Wednesday, Feb 5 looking like a potential Finals Day, the plan is to run for three straight days starting Monday Feb. 3. But its the ocean so check back for tomorrow’s call at 7:45.”

Never, not once, in the past decade or five has the WSL delivered such a grumpy, grouchy, hopeless memo. A true bummer certain to dump cold water on even the hottest of surf fans.

“But it’s the ocean.”

So bleak.

But what sort of exorcism would the World Surf League need to do in order to chase the smarmy specter away?

I would imagine any thoughts welcome.

Update: Off for today putting dreamed about Wednesday Finals Day in jeopardy. 

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Filipe Toledo would go
Filipe Toledo, an Olympic star at Teahupoo, and celebrated like Eddie Aikau on t-shirt.

Surf brand honours world champ Filipe Toledo with set-to-be-iconic “Toledo Would Go” t-shirt!

Toledo has won two world titles in small waves but has publicly struggled in waves breaking over reef and exceeding six feet. 

Less than a week after surf fans exploded following a WSL post featuring Filipe Toledo threading small Backdoor which was made in an attempt, you’d presume, to shore up Toledo’s Pipeline bona fides, a surf brand has honoured the two-timer with a t-shirt celebrating his achievements.

Country Club Surf Brand is a small, made-from-home brand by a gun designer from Volcom who split the company after fourteen years. Joey Frizelle was there all through the good times, the great float and before the joint got bought out by the French luxe group Kering, owners of Gucci, Saint Laurent and Bottega Veneta and finally, Authentic Group, makers of Juicy Couture’s outstanding velvet tracksuits (a personal fav.)

“It changed a lot for over that time,” says Joe, who was Volcom’s surf trunk designer of note.

His little light bulb moment for a brand centred around pools came when he was watching the Future Classic at Surf Ranch in 2017, the world’s second-ever major wave pool event, a contest where spectators were excluded.

“No one could see what was going on, it was so exclusive, so elitist and all of a sudden everyone had a comment about it, the death of surfing and so on. Everyone had an opinion on it.”

Joe said to a pal, “You know what’s so funny, somebody is going to have a wavepool brand and it’s going to be called Country Club Surf Club or something.”

Bing.

Joe went out and got the Instagram handle, bought the domain, and yelled from his Volcom cubicle, “Can somebody make a logo?”

By the time the afternoon had spilled into evening, he had a logo, a website, had posted photos on Instagram and had mocked up a full range of hats and tees.

The brand started as parody but Joe is anything but anti-tub. He hits the Waco pool when he can and even blew his money on the old Austin tank before it got bought out by KSWaveCo, demolished, and abandoned.

His latest t-shirt print is a play on the old Eddie Would Go slogan, which celebrates the courage of Hawaiian lifeguard Eddie Aikau, but with Eddie replaced by Toledo.

Filipe Toledo has won back-to-back world titles, both in two foot waves at Lower Trestles, but has publicly struggled in waves breaking over reef and exceeding six feet. 

The t-shirt costs thirty-five dollars and is made to order. 

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Tulsi Gabbard's husband (left) with surfboard.
Tulsi Gabbard's husband (left) with surfboard.

Tulsi Gabbard DNI confirmation hits major snag after revelation that husband is “as devoted to surfboard as he is to wife”

Wild times in Washington D.C.

Wild times in Washington D.C. as Donald J. Trump’s second week as President of the United States nears its end. Many executive orders signed. Much confirmation hearings on Capitol Hill with cabinet hopefuls facing off against dubious senators. Last week saw Pete Hegseth, Kash Patel, Bobby Kennedy Jr. and Tulsi Gabbard facing a barrage of questions. Gabbard, wishing to become the Director of National Intelligence, is considered a 50-50 bet to make it through though her odds received a cruel blow after a stunning revelation.

Asked during her hearing if she considered the whistleblower Edward Snowden a traitor, the 43-year-old answered, “My heart is with my commitment to our Constitution and our nation’s security. I have shown throughout my almost 22 years of service in the military, as well as my time in Congress, how seriously I take the privilege of having access to classified information and our nation’s secrets, and that’s why I’m committed, if confirmed as director of national intelligence, to joining you in making sure that there is no future Snowden-type leak.”

Asked again, she responded, “Senator, I’m focused on the future and how we can prevent something like this from happening again.”

According to NBC News:

Many officials inside the White House were “rattled” by Gabbard’s response to the Snowden question, a person familiar with the White House’s thinking said, adding that she seemed unprepared.

The Snowden moment caught President Donald Trump’s attention, according to another person familiar with the White House’s thinking. As he watched a clip of it, Trump wondered aloud how her lack of a direct answer would play out, this person said.

“He was curious about how it would affect her chances at nomination or if it wouldn’t matter at all,” this person said.

That rattle grew much fiercer after the stunning bombshell dropped that Gabbard’s husband, Abraham Williams, loves his surfboard as much as he does her.

The Irish Star, examining the relationship, learned that the two met after Williams offered to take photos of Gabbard’s campaign, reporting:

The two quickly hit it off, bonding over their shared love for water sports. Surfing has always been a passion of Gabbard’s, something she makes time for amidst her busy political career. Williams, also hailing from Gabbard’s home state of Hawaii, was as devoted to his surfboard as he was to his wife. “Pretty soon, we were going on hikes, going surfing and spending as much time together as we could. Oftentimes that meant an early-morning surf before work,” Gabbard shared. During a surf session, Williams proposed to Gabbard and the two had a casual island wedding in 2015.

Boy oh boy.

We, here, all enjoy the surfing life but have you ever gone on the record to say that you are as devoted to your surfboard as you are to your spouse?

Would you trust someone whose spouse was as devoted to them as they were to their surfboard?

Like I stated, wild times.

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Family home of Owen Wright and Tyler Wright for sale.

Family home of Owen and Tyler Wright listed for sale with $3 mill-plus hopes as patriarch Rob battles dementia

“Prepare to be amazed, this is a once-in-a-lifetime offering that must be seen to be believed.”

In a sad coda to the life of the Wright family’s patriarch, Rob, the compound he’s lived in for the back half of his life, and right behind his favourite wave Boulders, has just been listed with three-mill plus hopes.

The joint at 5 Skennars Road, Skennars Head was built on almost seven acres back when Skennars was all rolling green fields and long before the place got turned into a housing development, with crudely fashioned boxes being schlepped to dumb Australians for a minimum $1.3 mill buy-in.

Rob Wright’s house has views from Lennox to Broken Head and the Cape Byron lighthouse.

The selling lit is compelling:

Prepare to be amazed, this is a once-in-a-lifetime offering that must be seen to be believed.

With endless future potential (STCA), this exciting property will delight whether you’re looking to update the current homestead and grounds, create a striking statement residence or landbank for future growth.

The existing brick and tile home is spacious and versatile with a unique layout that will suit a wide range of owners. Four bedrooms and two bathrooms await in the main residence with multiple living areas that connect effortlessly to the outdoors. The open-plan kitchen, dining and family room takes in spectacular views over the property to the ocean beyond plus there’s a separate living room complete with a cosy brick fireplace for those cool winter nights.

Multiple covered patios and a wrap-around deck take full advantage of the picture-perfect surrounds and will make entertaining guests a true joy.

A double garage and a large 7.8×3.9m storage room add functionality and there’s a two-bedroom, one-bathroom self-contained studio with a kitchen, sitting area, balcony and deck. Here, the expansive outlook will amaze while the addition of this bonus living space is perfect for accommodating extended family or visitors who come to share in this one-of-a-kind property.

Depending on your vision for the site, there’s potential to keep horses and create a dressage arena or even look to create two separate homes that capitalise on this incredible locale (STCA). Scenic national parks, coastal walks and renowned beaches are all at your fingertips along with bustling shopping hubs, cafes and entertainment options that are all just waiting to be explored.

– Spectacular landmark property that must be seen to be believed
– A rare 2.692-hectare offering with expansive ocean views to Cape Byron
– Update, redevelop or land bank for future growth, the choice is yours (STCA)
– Existing 4-bedroom, 2-bathroom main home with multiple living areas on offer
– Open kitchen, dining and family room plus covered patios and a wrap-around deck
– Your master bedroom boasts an ensuite and a walk-in robe for added privacy
– A 2-bedroom, 1-bathroom studio with more breathtaking elevated views

The one-time world title contender Owen Wright, who is thirty-four, has spent the last five years caring for his Dad Rob even as he deals with the lingering effects of his own brain trauma.

In a harrowing post on social media four months ago, Owen spoke movingly about his Dad’s struggle as the pair sat side by side, checking the surf at Boulders, a quirky rock-bottom wave just south of Lennox, and a favourite wave of his old boy’s. It was Rob’s last stop before going into a Dementia unit.

Owen Wright and Rob Wright, dementia post.
“We found out about it five years ago and he was surfing all the way up until two years ago. And today we’ve come down to Boulders to say see you later to Boulders, because we’re off to the Home today. We’re taking him to the nursing home to get some better care.”

“He’s surfed here forever. Every morning. He was still surfing here three years ago. And five years ago he got diagnosed with dementia. He hid it before that. He already knew before that, but he hid it from us.

“But we found out about it five years ago and he was surfing all the way up until two years ago. And today we’ve come down to Boulders to say see you later to Boulders, because we’re off to the Home today. We’re taking him to the nursing home to get some better care.

“We fought pretty hard, didn’t we Poppy, to keep you out of there. That was your wishes. You said that to me years ago, ‘I don’t want to go in there. I don’t ever want to go into one of those places.’ So we fought pretty hard to keep you out. And we did pretty well, I reckon.

“Because the condition he’s in now is non-verbal, can barely walk, doesn’t get out of bed much. You know, dementia can be pretty messy and incontinence is a part of that, not knowing how to feed yourself. Losing bodily functions. That’s something I wasn’t aware of when this started. I thought it was just memory. And seeing how far it goes is quite shocking, but we did our best to keep him out of the Home for as long as we could.

“It definitely took a toll on me personally and emotionally, but you do anything for your mums and dads. And I guess today is a big day for us, hey Poppy? We’ll put you into the Home, get some care, get some nurses around and maybe meet some new people.

“Anyway, what a journey mate, what a journey. So, it’s been a pleasure. It’s been a wild ride, for sure.”

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