Donald Trump described as orange Caligula.
Orange Caligula’s theatrical bluster cannot hide the reality that not since the 1860s has America been more divided or looked weaker on the international stage.

Politics: Has President Trump morphed from Orange Caesar into Orange Caligula?

The Trump administration has replaced the midwit progressive Wokesters with midwit conservative Wokesters

I was an outspoken critic of the Biden administration’s intentionally anarchic, open border policy and supported President Trump’s decision to deport illegal criminal migrants.

However, as a result of the Trump administration’s sloppy strategic legalist reading of the two-hundred-twenty-seven-year-old Alien Enemies Act to justify their decision to fly 238 unidentified “bad people” to El Salvador’s modern day Devil’s Island (CECOT), I rescind my support until these operations are conducted in a manner that is consistent with the U.S. Constitution. The 5th Amendment protects even immigrants from “Deprivation of liberty without due process of law.”

It does not include a “Trust me bro, they’re really bad people” clause.

We have heard a lot in recent years about “lawfare,” the use of law “to achieve an operational objective.” We have heard much less about “strategic legalism,” the use of laws, legal arguments, or legal tools to advance larger policy objectives, irrespective of—and often at the expense of—facts and law.

“Lawfare” is rightly understood as the favored legal tactic of subalterns—the use of the law by the weak to force the strong to observe universal standards in their exercise of power. “Strategic legalism” has deeper, less celebrated, and even more consequential roots in American history. U.S. leaders used strategic legalism to release Nazis convicted at Nuremberg, free Mai Lai Massacre convict William Calley, prop up the genocidal Khmer Rouge regime in exile, evade the International Court of Justice for mining Nicaragua’s harbors, justify inaction during the Rwandan genocide, and kidnap and torture suspected terrorists.

After less than two months in office, has President Trump morphed from Orange Caesar into Orange Caligula? Today his administration relies less on “strategic legalism” and more on the well-worn legal strategy of criminal defense attorneys with guilty clients: When the law is against you, argue the facts, when facts are against you, argue the law, when both are against you, attack the other side.

On March 15, Chief U.S. District Judge James Boasberg ordered the Trump administration to stop the deportation of the supposed Venezuelan gang members to El Salvador. Not only did the White House ignore the order, President Trump attacked the judge in an ALL CAPS Truth Social screed: “This Radical Left Lunatic of a Judge, a troublemaker and agitator who was sadly appointed by Barack Hussein Obama, was not elected President – He didn’t WIN the popular VOTE (by a lot!), he didn’t WIN ALL SEVEN SWING STATES, he didn’t WIN 2,750 to 525 Counties, HE DIDN’T WIN ANYTHING!”

More importantly, President Trump threatened to impeach the judge who dared rule against him: “This judge, like many of the Crooked Judges’ I am forced to appear before, should be IMPEACHED!!! WE DON’T WANT VICIOUS, VIOLENT, AND DEMENTED CRIMINALS, MANY OF THEM DERANGED MURDERERS, IN OUR COUNTRY. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!”

Most Americans do not want criminal illegal migrants in our country, but Trump doth protest too much. After all, Boasberg is the judge who released the Hillary Clinton emails. Although President Obama appointed him to the U.S. district court for the District of Columbia, President GW Bush first appointed Boasberg to Superior Court for the District of Columbia, and Supreme Court Justice John Roberts appointed him to the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court. He is hardly comparable to Judge Arthur Engoron, the magistrate who presided over New York Attorney General Letitia James’s farcically flawed civil fraud case.

Trump’s threatening rant prompted a rare rebuke and warning from conservative Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts who wrote, “For more than two centuries, it has been established that impeachment is not an appropriate response to disagreement concerning a judicial decision. The normal appellate review process exists for that purpose.”

Unphased by the Supreme Court justice’s slap down, Fox News host now starring as Attorney General, Pam Bondi chastised Judge Boasberg for daring to question Orange Caligula. She accused him of “meddling in our government” and attempted to reframe the question at issue. “Why,” she asked from her Fox News bully pulpit, “is the judge trying to protect terrorists who invaded our country over American citizens?”

Finally, Bondi resorted to an ad hominem attack:“Today, a DC trial judge supported Tren de Aragua terrorists over the safety of Americans. TdA is represented by the ACLU.”

Although Tren de Aragua is a dangerous gang whose members should be deported, they are a strawman, not even a JV version of the Mexican cartels who until recently operated with impunity on our southern border. Wouldn’t the Trump administration’s charge of “perpetrating, attempting, and threatening an invasion or predatory incursion against the territory of the United States” apply more accurately to the Cartels and China? Even though their asymmetric Opiate War kills more Americans each year than the Vietnam War, the Korean War, and the War on Terror combined, for decades, our leaders have turned a blind eye to it in the name of profit.

After the 1994 NAFTA agreement opened the southern border, the U.S. government, businesses, and financial institutions trumpeted “globalism” as the flattener of worlds and leveler of playing fields. As a result, they explained, anti-trust laws, banking regulations, unions, workers safety laws, environmental protection were now outdated and unnecessary hindrances to “the free market.”

Of course, the politicians they owned and their mandarins in the press agreed because multinational corporations needed cheap, exploitable labor to keep their production costs down. Under the messianic battle cry of “globalization,” millions of Latin Americans took their chances and traveled north. Worse, the U.S. government, businesses, and banks turned a blind eye to our most immediate national security threat—the Mexican Cartels.

In the old days, Mexican Dons paid their bills in cash, face-to-face. After NAFTA, the old Dons lost control. Under the new cartel system, politicians and police had only one choice—plata o plomo (silver or lead)—money or death. Unlike our government and many multi-national corporations, the cartels had liquidity, balanced books, production, distribution, transportation, protection, and insolvent American and international banks to launder their money. How can you hide the daily workings of multinational corporations that ships five tons of cocaine at a time into a nation whose military can read a wrist watch from outer space? You can’t. But as long as the rich got their cocaine, Cialis, Concerta, and Codones and the poor got their Crack, Smack, and Crystal, nobody seemed to mind, much less notice the greatest consolidation of wealth in human history.

The collateral damage of this laissez faire anarchy was not limited to just the American working class. After the U.S. began deporting immigrants convicted of felonies in the 1990s, hardened criminals with American gang affiliations returned to countries they no longer knew and established satellite branches of these gangs. By 2015, El Salvador had an estimated 55,000 gang members, 400,000 collaborators, and the highest murder rate in the world.

In 2022, El Salvador’s Supreme Court declared the two main gangs, MS-13 and Barrio 18, “terrorist organizations.” Police arrested 55,000 gang members in seven months. Next, President Nayib Bukele announced the construction of the Terrorism Confinement Center, the Devil’s Panopticon, better known as CECOT. El Salvador has realized the model of punitive incarceration that Michel Foucault described in Discipline and Punishment. CECOT’s 14,000 inmates are not allowed personal items, visitors, or phone calls and spend only 30 minutes a day outside of their cells. The rest of the time they live in crowded cells, under the twenty-four-hour-a-day glare of neon lights and unblinking gaze of CCV cameras.

On March 22, after President Trump threatened to sentence the American “domestic terrorists” who are damaging Teslas, to twenty-year prison sentences, he added, “Perhaps they should serve them in the prisons of El Salvador, which have become so recently famous for such lovely conditions.”

Over the weekend, after Department of Homeland Security head Tom Homan mocked an ABC reporter for raising a question about the due process protections that are part of U.S. immigration law, I reached out to the lawyer and scholar whose legal knowledge and intellect I respect most. I asked William A. Preston for his opinion on the implications of the illegal migrants’ denial of due process.

He responded with the following five aphoristic text messages: “The absence of due process for people deported by the Republican administration to this supermax slave-labor prison means no one knows for sure what their [these prisoners’] status is—they could be U.S. citizens for all we (and the court before whom this is being litigated by the ACLU) know—or why they really are being deported and whether any of this could even properly be upheld as lawful.”

“These are 5th Amendment basics: Deprivation of liberty without due process of law.”

“If no due process exists, nothing stops the Republican administration from deporting U.S. citizens who criticize Israel or would oppose a U.S. war with Iran to this supermax slave-labor prison in El Salvador.”

“The excuses put forward in court by DoJ [Department of Justice] would justify this.”

“The 5th Amendment says no person shall be deprived of due process. It doesn’t only apply to citizens or green card holders.

DoJ’s response is, ‘Trust me bro, they’re illegal.’”

In other words, Tren de Aragua today and perhaps garden-variety cranks and critics like me tomorrow. Unlike the Neocon apostates and fallen Neoliberals who rolled like jailhouse snitches when it mattered (9/11, torture, Iraq invasion, tech censorship, COVID, BLM riots, illegal immigration, fealty to China, Mexico and China’s Opiate War, criminal catch and release programs, men playing women’s sports, Israel’s war crimes, the doomed Ukrainians, etc.) during both Republican and Democratic administrations, I have spoken out about what I believe is wrong and never made an ideological 180.

For writing critically about Bush’s Global War on Terror, I was called “naïve” and placed on a “watch list.” When I criticized Hillary Clinton, Susan Rice and Samantha Power for expanding Bush’s War on Terror, I was called “sexist” and a “nascent MAGA supporter.” For questioning BLM’s shadowy leadership and dubious funding, you guessed it, “racist.” For questioning the discredited Steele Dossier, Russiagate, and the political objectives of the Ukraine War, I was labelled a “Putinista,” then hacked and deplatformed.

Last year, when I pointed out the obvious—President Biden would not make it to election day and Kamala was unelectable—I was called a Trump supporter again. The only problem with these indictments of me was that not one of them was true.

The Trump administration has replaced the midwit progressive Wokesters with midwit conservative Wokesters. They are opposite sides of the same idiotic binary coin that has crippled America. The Trump administration’s amateur hour, Signal pratfall has left me with as little faith in Trump, Vance, Rubio, Hegseth, Bondi, Homan, and Miller as I have in Obama, Clinton, Panetta, Holder, Power, Biden, Blinken, Austin, Garland, Mayorkas, Sunstein, Cheney, Powell, Rumsfeld, Ashcroft, and Chertoff.

I had fun for about a week watching Trump’s Crony Capitalist Cadres rout the Corporate Cultural Revolutionaries. In such a short time, the emotional blackmail strategies that worked so well during the Biden administration were fully revealed to be blank ammunition. The shrill cries of “fascist,” “racist,” “transphobe,” “Nazi,” “oligarch,” and “white supremacist,” now fall on deaf ears. Their overuse has turned these words into stale, meaningless clichés. However, after the initial wave of schadenfreude passed, I wondered where this leaves America as a nation.

Will we ever be able to transcend the dead end “better than Biden/better than Trump” binary?

Orange Caligula’s theatrical bluster cannot hide the reality that not since the 1860s has America been more divided or looked weaker on the international stage. Under Bush, Obama, Trump, and Biden, the U.S. military lost wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and proxy wars in Libya, Syria, Yemen and, most recently, Ukraine. More importantly, at least to the Trump administration, Israel, the tiny nation that we have built our foreign policy around for the past quarter century, has never been more despised, isolated, and insecure. As President Volodymyr Zelensky can attest, with friends like Trump, you don’t need enemies.

“We are falling into the trap of imitating the ‘evildoing’ which we accuse our enemies of initiating,” wrote Rich Arant who was a contract interrogator who worked at Abu Ghraib and Afghanistan’s Bagram Air Force base in 2003–4. He had a revelation one night after questioning a former Afghan Mujahid who had fought against the Soviets and was now in jail because a paid U.S. government informant and well-known Soviet collaborator had fingered him. The man broke down in tears and after he composed himself, he said, “I fought Russians, our common enemy, and now you Americans have imprisoned me on the word of a son of the Russians. This is my reward.”

Arant quit shortly thereafter and offered this observation: “‘Precautionary murder’ is the term once used by T. E. Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia. Former conventions regarding the treatment of prisoners are now considered quaint, obsolete. But a prisoner is as defenseless as a passenger held hostage on an aircraft. There is little honor found in exploiting his fears, no matter how pressing the requirement.” Former Navy General Counsel Alberto Mora, one of the few brave enough to push back against the Bush administration, put it best, “When you put together the pieces, it’s all so sad. To preserve flexibility, they were willing to throw away our values.”

The Trump administration would be wise to consider the words of American Nuremberg prosecutor Robert Jackson’s now famous opening address at those trials: “We must never forget that the record on which we judge these defendants today is the record on which history will judge us tomorrow. To pass these defendants the poison chalice is to put it to our own lips as well.”

Like the Bush administration’s decision to deem War on Terror prisoners “illegal enemy combatants,” then torture and warehouse them in offshore dungeons, the Trump administration’s performative deportations are already blowing back, and costing political capital. Deport all the illegal criminal migrants you want, but respect the Constitution.

Justice Roberts put it best: “Every Administration suffers defeats in the court system — sometimes in cases with major ramifications for executive or legislative power or other consequential topics…. Within the past few years, however, elected officials from across the political spectrum have raised the specter of open disregard for federal court rulings. These dangerous suggestions, however sporadic, must be soundly rejected.”

Now, it is up to America’s other two branches of government to rein in Orange Caligua.

If they can’t, our democratic experiment and our “shining hill on the city” and “American exceptionalism” conceits will be exposed as just that.

More overpriced, “6th generation” fighter planes can’t save us and the United States will be the latest overstretched empire to fall.

(Editor’s note: Peter Maguire is a surfer, war crimes investigator and author ofThai Stick: Surfers, Scammers, and the Untold Story of the Marijuana Trade (movie rights optioned by Kelly Slater), Law and War, Facing Death in Cambodia, Breathe, the  bio on jiujitsu icon Rickson Gracie and its follow up Comfort in Darkness. Ain’t much ol Petey can’t do. This story first appeared on Pete’s substack Sour Milk, subscribe, it’s free etc.)

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Surf journalist caught up in wild ChatGPT viral video storm!

Burn baby burn.

You have certainly seen, by now, the viral AI video currently literally melting the internet. Hours ago, ChatGPT unleashed a clip featuring the most iconic moments of the 20th century done up in the iconic Studio Ghilbi style. The Japanese animation arthouse, best known for its critically-acclaimed films Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away, has long been adored by serious cartoon folk. As such, it was ripe ground for the Terminator-esque future to exploit.

Rolling out a new feature, ChatGPT included a collection of the last 100 years’ most compelling images in Studio Ghilbi vernacular. There were no surf snaps, not even Gabriel Medina walking on clouds, save a blink-and-miss-it photograph from a 2002 surf trip to Yemen featuring yours truly.

The picture has been doing the rounds on Reddit for years, I regularly get it sent to me, though the context is often lightly obscured. If you have read the best-selling-adjacent Reports from Hell, you would know that my two very best friends and I absconded to Yemen in the wake of 9/11 because I had learned Osama bin Laden was from there and its mainland coastline appeared potentially surf rich.

This was before the Google Maps days, but looking at physical maps, best friends and I figured it would have to catch waves. Plus, we all had deep interest in radical fundamentalism.

No surfer had ever explored before due difficulty and danger.

A three month run from tip to tail revealed truly epic nuggets. Also much Al-Qaeda and while we, best friends plus I, were always happy to run-and-gun, occasionally full police details would see us through particularly hot zones.

Thus this photo. We were in the Shabwah district, notoriously volatile, and had an escort through part of it. Before they peeled off, we sat on technical to celebrate moment with our Yemeni bros, wonderful photographer captured and off we went.

Now it is helping boil ChatGPT’s computers.

You’re welcome.

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Artist rendition of Logan Dulien.
Artist rendition of Logan Dulien.

Ultra-popular surf filmmaker goes full Liam Neeson in takedown of crime syndicate!

"Maybe they robbed the wrong person at the wrong time..."

Logan Dulien needs no introduction here. The Southern California filmmaker behind the ultra-popular Snapt film series has been defining what high-performance surfing looks like for the better part of a decade, grinding tirelessly away. In a Covid-era interview with What Youth, the dusty blonde explained, “I don’t expect a good surf movie to fall in my lap. I’m just trying to not pay attention to the hype, put my head down, and work as hard as I can until the curtain goes up.”

Tenacious.

Well, a ring of dirty bandits had not accounted for Dulien’s Liam Neeson-like drive but learned of it the hard way. David Lee Scales had told me this story, before, how Dulien had been robbed whilst out for a surf right after his mother died and how he fought back. Now his tale appears in the Los Angeles Times for those who dislike podcasts.

In short, Dulien’s mother, from whom he had been estranged, had just died after a battle with Parkinson’s. He was there, in the hospital, when she breathed her last and in order to clear head before funeral planning, he went for a surf at his beloved River Jetties. “That’s my temple,” Dulien told the broadsheet. “That’s my religion. That’s everything for me. That’s my sanity.”

After his rinse, Dulien discovered that someone had nipped his keys from his apartment and stolen his wallet and phone. He texted his number from a friend’s phone and the thief responded that he would return all for $1000 cold hard cash. Dulien agreed but the stinky liar never showed. And that’s when the auteur found out that he had been bilked $150,000.

While this would have broken most men, Dulien simply felt the bile rising, declaring, “Maybe they robbed the wrong person at the wrong time because, hey, I’ve got the surveillance (footage of robber). I have the resources. And I’m pissed off.”

What follows is a must-read-to-believe tale that ends with the crumbling of an organized crime ring that targeted surfers. “It makes sense, they know (surfers) are going into the ocean and a lot of them hide their keys,” Dulien explained. “They’re gone for at least 20 minutes to 3 hours. So at that point it became more personal. Because surfing, look, everyone doesn’t get along but we are still a tribe.”

Read the full account of vigilante surf justice here.

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Baseball Card Vandals (right) a worthy Instagram follow.
Baseball Card Vandals (right) a worthy Instagram follow.

World Surf League drops official trading cards featuring Tyler Wright, Italo Ferreira and Viktor Hovland!

"Start collecting GDM (Game Day Moments) cards featuring your favorite surfers from around the globe."

The surf fan hungry for a tactile experience with his or her favorite surfer has finally been sated. Minutes ago, the World Surf League dropped a collection of trading cards that are bound to become collectors’ items soon. Partnering with Upper Deck, the “global home of surfing” invites the aforementioned to “Start collecting GDM (Game Day Moments) cards featuring your favorite surfers from around the globe. Future card releases will be available on UpperDeckePack.com the Friday following the completion of each Championship Tour event. Cards are only available for purchase for 1 week after their release! Set up a free account today to start adding to your new collection, and select to have the cards made physical and shipped right to your door!”

Classic perceived scarcity likely ensuring that Tyler Wright will end up in the hands of serious novelty item aficionados.

This first drop includes six surfers including, and limited to, Alan Cleland Jr., Caitlin Simmers (two cards), Barron Mamiya, Italo Ferreira, Viktor Hovland and, as mentioned, Tyler Wright.

Each are available for $5.99.

Oh, shoot. Reading the finer print, it appears that these are all e-cards, despite the invitation “have the cards be made physical” therefore not tactile and leaving the hungry surf fan hungrier still.

Also submarining idea of perceived scarcity.

Digital Tyler Wright for all.

Back to the drawing board, I suppose.

David Lee Scales and I did not discuss during our weekly chat but I did find an opportunity to light into Stab editor Michael Ciaramella and Lost Surfboard’s Matt Biolos some more. Would you prefer trading cards featuring them?

I sure would.

The High Horse Hypocrisy series.

Listen here.

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Andrew Tate with surfers
Andrew Tate, popular among surfers.

Surfers split sharply on Andrew Tate’s “woman-hating poison”

"Does integrity have any place in the surf industry and are there any examples of it?"

I have a nice life. I live in Aotearoa in New Zealand, a beautiful place. I have a loving family, a young happy daughter. I get to surf fairly average, uncrowded waves regularly. I have fulfilling work as a teacher at a secondary school. Life is good.

Things that frustrate or anger me are external to my situation: strangers being callous or rude, inequality, suffering, politics. Common triggers that everyone feels. For years, I have thought that getting angry does not serve me. It invites negative emotions that brings me down; it won’t change anything and will only leave me bitter.

This is the characterisation of anger as portrayed by the mindfullness and wellness industry. “Take care of yourself first”, “lean in to positivity”, alongside all the other platitudes. I have followed this path, working to bring things into perspective, be thankful of what I have and to appreciate my own insignificance.

Well, no longer, my friend!

When Chas Smith spoke of how good it felt to get angry about Andrew Tate and his pro surfer sycophants I had a ‘hmmm’ moment. I, too, despise the manosphere toxicity that is spreading among young men, the gormless meatheads (Cole, Jett – I’m looking at you) and bitter incels that prop up misogynists like Andrew Tate and spread their woman-hating poison.

I examined my anger. I wasn’t feeling bad. I wasn’t feeling guilty for getting angry and ruining my positive equilibrium – it felt good to be angry about this. I was right and my anger was righteous! I wanted to smote these wankers and what they stand for, a fightback against the corrupting disease of the manosphere.

Now, obviously, I did very little aside from a heartfelt comment or too on BeachGrit, but it felt good.

Cut to yesterday, reading a piece on Stab about the Matt Biolos vs Lady Gaga Mayhem spat and I noticed that the comments had been hijacked by an erstwhile reader who wanted to talk about the Cole Houshmand being a Tate fanboy debacle.

Well, Michael C wasn’t going to stand for this. See comment thread below:

Another jolt of righteous anger.

Why was Stab protecting this idiot?

Where are their values of equality and promoting women in surfing now?

What happened to their female editor?

I know the surf media is a joke but Mikey C’s high handed dismissal of this being newsworthy incensed me.

I put my phone down and went for my morning run. Steaming mad, brain whirring about the cozy boys club of the surf industry, the vileness of the misogyny being peddled by Tate et al, the risks to the brilliant young women I know, my daughter.

I blitzed my run at an incredible pace. I came back to the house with so much energy I was fizzing. No hint of fatigue ready to tackle another hundred hills! It occurred to me. Is righteous anger the best form of energy, a superpower even?

I remember the British comedian Rob Beckett saying that as a young man he was always angry.

Coming from a tough working class area of South London, hating school, feeling like a failure because of his dyslexia he had a lot to kick against and kick against things he did. This powered him through life and he channeled his river of rage into his stand-up, always sparky, energised and combative. Until he had a breakdown in his late thirties and sought out therapy.

However, despite being a big advocate of mindfulness and stoic thinking he hasn’t banished anger. He says he keeps an ember of that rage burning so that it’s always there should he need it. His metaphor is that the hidden store of anger is like having a nitro button in a car. There if you need it, to tap and inject that high-grade rocket fuel of rage.

All this to pose two questions:

1. Is having a secret cache of rage stashed away beneath a calm and measured mindset the optimal balance for life?
2. Does integrity have any place in the surf industry and are there any examples of it being displayed you can point to?

P.S. I find it ironic that BeachGrit, run by the two biggest cynics and believers of surfing being an absurd act, is the forum that displays the most honesty and decency, despite all the clickbait nonsense and Derek’s lasciviousness.

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