Utah residents grow restive as world’s largest PerfectSwell wave tank announced for drought-stricken state

"It is exceptionally tone deaf to approve an enormous surf park in Washington City."

Trouble is brewing, again between surfers and everyday folk who like to drink water. But who could forget the last major conflict betwixt the two when it reared its head in greater Palm Springs after residents became enraged at a planned wave tank in the desert town. Coral Mountain was supposed to be a nice community with a hotel, wellness spa and million dollar homes all around a Kelly Slater tank. It would have used less water than a golf course but the optics were not great and the aforementioned angry townspeople shut it right down in a series of hot n heavy city council meetings.

Today, the same battle lines are being drawn except not in the glorious Coachella Valley but Southern Utah instead. For it is there that the world’s largest PerfectSwell tub is currently being dug. Alaia, Hawaiian for “joy,” will feature an 18-acre lake, homes and good vibes.

Except the region is in the midst of a devastating drought. There is enough water to get through this year, according to the Washington County Water Conservancy, but not next if winter ’25/’26 is dry.

Cue bitter burghers.

Council member Troy Bellison, who voted against the project, voiced concerns by declaring, “In light of the ask of the developers, and the need of our future growth, it is exceptionally tone deaf to approve an enormous surf park in Washington City.”

Council member Kurt Ivie, who voted for the project, countered that the cauldron is being built on a farm that has its own brackish wells, saying, “Stucki Farm was a beautiful area where they grew fruit. The owners then sold that to a development group back in 2006, and they got a planned unit development that was approved by the city council at the time. These people have a right to develop, but again, I think the point is, the city, they will never get one drop of city water, period, for this pool. It’s their own water.”

Do you think that argument will win the day or do you think settlers will descend with pitchforks and ire?

Also, why isn’t there a Kelly Slater plow in the Great Salt Lake?

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yipykiyaymf
yipykiyaymf
1 year ago

El Guapo says always take two Mormons with you surfing, that way they won’t steal your wave drink your beer and smoke all your weed. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Keith Grace
Keith Grace
1 year ago

The most amazing, waist-high, blower pow, I’ve ever ridden (or ever will as an Ice Coaster), but other than that, Utah is about the most bizarre/evil/freakish state I’ever set foot in (never been to Texas of course…) no U.S. airport gave me the creeps more…

And if they’ve set up shop already in other locales likes El Salvador and Abu Dhabi, you just know there’ll be a ‘CT event in Utah soon enough.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
1 year ago

Always central Asian folk

Sit down to pee
Sit down to pee
1 year ago

Utah… But I’m taller

Otto
Otto
1 year ago

Turns out Van Halen “Panama” is way better than Van Hollen “El Salvador”.

deeks
deeks
1 year ago

Peak BG comments in this thread today Joe .I’m giving it a 9.9. Thrrree

Stick man
Stick man
1 year ago

Brah… it’s ” a liar”

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
1 year ago

Why don’t the Mormons pray for rain?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
1 year ago

Because the patron saint of drought affected areas is Ben Shapiro’s wife. And she is Jewish, (I think).

Stick man
Stick man
1 year ago

Mormons…morproblems.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
1 year ago

Advanced, advanced turns and expert barrel mode. Wondering if turns might be more fun than barrel mode.

longtomssecondcuztwiceremoved
longtomssecondcuztwiceremoved
1 year ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

advanced turns.

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
1 year ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Tyler Wright drop wallet layback mode

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
1 year ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Advanced. 1/2 hour of turns to warm up – 5-6 waves. Then it jacks (but easier take off lol) to 1/2 hour of expert. Get toobed. Orrrrrr, if your name is Negs, probs just expert. Core lord raw dog an hour of pits.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
1 year ago
Reply to  Gil Gunderson

Yeah wanna get some turns in.

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
1 year ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah!

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
1 year ago

“O that thou hadst hearkened to my commandments—then had thy peace been as a river, and thy righteousness as the waves of the sea.” ​- Book of Mormon

The “waves of the sea” metaphorically represent the boundless nature

Even the book of Mormon thinks waves should be in nature. I declare the wavepool sacreligous.

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
1 year ago

This is a spectacular location knowing they’re using salt water(unlike their Mormon brethren at Revel Surf Park) and you’re only a 3 beer drive from gambling in Mesquite or a 12 pack drive from Colorado City where the fundamentalist Mormons live!

You’ll see a few less BYU stickers in the parking lot of your favorite break after this project is completed.

Nonagon_Infinity
Nonagon_Infinity
1 year ago

Morman v Merman

Sup Braj
Sup Braj
1 year ago

It has occurred to me that Urchin Sepsis is the burner account pipelinelocal_69 on IG… due to the Cole Houshmand smear campaign

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
1 year ago

Speaking of wave pools, Urban surf in Melbourne.
What the fuck pool setting is the best to book? Too many options.

Barrelled
Barrelled
1 year ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Is that Wavegarden tech?

c4
c4
1 year ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Shark Island mode.

frank
frank
1 year ago
Reply to  c4

if you order off the secret menu, you can get Farralon Island mode, with real sharks!

Otto
Otto
1 year ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Kelly Slater Instagram Mode: Manic

Some say as close to Mother Ocean as it gets

Strider's Gobble Neck
Strider's Gobble Neck
1 year ago

Is there a way for me to be really angry about this? I want to point some fingers and make people around me uncomfortable with my emotional outrage.

Juan Juan Floordance
Juan Juan Floordance
1 year ago

Use the middle one.

Mapski
Mapski
1 year ago

Just noticed the WSL has its Bells champions list all screwed up, from 83 to 88. The late Joe Engel(83 champ) is left off completely, and the next five years are all listed wrong. So is the women’s list. Idiots.

JoJo the Dog Faced Boy
JoJo the Dog Faced Boy
1 year ago
Reply to  Mapski

They aren’t bright enough to use Wikipedia (which is accurate). And no Joe Engel? Blasphemy.

Otto
Otto
1 year ago

Paying for all four of your wives to drop in on you. Only a polygamist knows the feeling.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
1 year ago
Reply to  Otto

Lucky cunts though, hope you get a root soon mate!
Xox

Otto
Otto
1 year ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

I feel way more lucky than him. That polygamist schtick has got to be exhausting, and for all the wrong reasons.

I went to the local gun range this morning. She’s getting the 7th Inning Stretch tonight.

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
1 year ago
Reply to  Otto

My wife used to watch that polygamist show with that guy Cody in it. That guy was doing straight prison time.

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
1 year ago

Will they sell WSL-themed spiritual underwear? I reckon a Tyler Wright with Trans flag on it would go over exceptionally well in the great Beehive state of Utah.

Barrelled
Barrelled
1 year ago

Just a plethora of comments that could revolve around the undergarment thing, ass loving, and soccer stars in Utah.

Joe_Turpel's_Unbearable_Drivel
Joe_Turpel's_Unbearable_Drivel
1 year ago

Just super-fun mind surfing these long runners… Gosh, I think I just got barrelled for 20 seconds there!

Barrelled
Barrelled
1 year ago

You planning on upvoting yourself on every stupid fucking comment you make? 4 for 4 so far.

Joe_Turpel's_Unbearable_Drivel
Joe_Turpel's_Unbearable_Drivel
1 year ago
Reply to  Barrelled

BIG hook in the pocket!

Wave Wizard
Wave Wizard
1 year ago

Damn, make a a man a chest high wave the environmentalist in ya just melts away


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