"Ok so I have a call update for tomorrow, it's probably one people have been waiting for..."
Yesterday’s big, wooly, “open ocean” surfing at Margaret River’s Main Break brought long-suffering surf fans a welcome respite from waves of inconsequence in a wild bacchanal of girth. That gorgeous “playing field” awash in swell. There were mad upsets “out to sea.” Local son Jack Robinson was stunned by Imaikalani deVault in the Round of 32, for example, and newly-minted big wave boy Filipe Toledo was somehow taken down by Hawaii’s Jackson Bunch.
Surf fans, already delirious, began girding loins for the upcoming Round of 16 which will feature such heavyweight matches as Jordy Smith vs. Marty Mignot, an all-Japan smashup between Kanoa Igarashi and Connor O’Leary plus local wildcard Jake Willcox getting after Jean Chianca.
The seeming lack of equipment understanding, amongst the pros, making an even greater show. Little boards were snapped like twigs in the rolling thunder. Leash plugs popped like Adderall.
Well, just as the lights were about to be turned off for the day, World Surf League commissioner Jessie Miley-Dyer swooped into the socials to announce, “Ok so I have a call update for tomorrow, it’s probably one people have been waiting for, we’re going to look at The Box.
And like that, delirium transmuted directly into hysteria.
The Box, lightly west of Main Break, is, of course, a mutant slab that haunts both mind and spirit. Once only the domain of fierce boogie-boarders, it is now also home to hell chargers caring little for life or limb. There have been some epic performances at the alternative site, notably Italo Ferreira’s iron maiden voyage.
And, thus, the surf fan’s frenzy is altogether understandable. The only, and I mean only, downer will be the lack of the aforementioned King of Teahupo’o Filipe Toledo’s absence.
Other than that, get ready to rumble.
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Totally not enough ridable waves hit the box to be able to run a day of heats , a specially event yep a full day of 2 up heats no way.
Cant see yet but i doubt its box day unless they run girls out there first am men after lunch when the 16 sec period s due to hit
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It’s a three second barrel with a technical late drop. Seems cruel to decide the cut there when so few waves will be ridden with success.
Jordy for the win.
Unlikely to get two in a row when your last prior win was in 2017.
more hope than prophesy
Amen, brother.
This is fucked. Finally running heats at Box and I am on the opposite side of the fucken planet.
Also, I thought your cuntiness had waned Chas but you are the biggest cunt ha!
Xox
For the record “Joaö” is “Jean” in English.
Oh, it’ll happen—the WSL isn’t going to miss out on being able to tout another “historic day for women’s surfing.” I can already hear Turpel’s weasel-like intonations uttering that phrase over and over again within my mind’s headphones.
Was just about to mention turdpels weasel like voice but u beat me to the puch
Daughters 8th grade graduation this evening. May have to sit in back of the church. God would understand, mrs. puss not so much.
Mrs. Puss will understand when it comes to teasing the box.
Wat a sick lot we are but jeez the comments are dam funny
JJ will be glad he’s on one of his surf adventures. The Box is a twat of a break. Literally. Or so I am informed.
Jack Robo ended my Surfvival run, but I was smart and picked a different guy for Second Chance Surfvival, Ethan.
Lol
It was a riches to rags to rags story.
Would be epic for about 3 of the competitors (Caity, Erin, Vahine), rest probably wouldn’t take off if its proper Box.
+ Molly, Tyler, BSJ (at least)
Molly, yes. Ty and BSJ will dodge the barrel, get the tail their boards covered and glide off the shoulder claiming, like it’s a 10.
much grunting faces and clinched fist claims.
there’s an old magic seaweed clip of Tyler getting a very proper barrel, was promising but doesn’t seem to have progressed a whole lot since
Is it a myriad, or Myriad?
Is it the Box, or Box?
Not easy being a core lord
Myriad and THE Box.
Or Da Box if from Chicago/Hawaii.
there are myriad reasons I wont surf the box?
There are for me too.
Rip a bong and shit on a car!
Xox
Sure they won’t.
Looking at buoy forecast they could run 8 heats women round of 16 overlapping from 8 am to 11 am. Looks like new swell 2.8 feet st 25 seconds late morning.
Then by 3 pm it’s 14.8 feet at 20 seconds. Madness for men round of 16 overlapping then men’s quarters.
That leaves a no brainer finals day on the 27th main break 5’ to 7’ and clean
What buoy you looking at? We run the metric system down here.
2.7m at 12 seconds right now. Reckon they could run the men at box in the morning before the wind swings northerly then nor-west around lunch, as we head into a series of big fronts. No surfing again until Monday-Tuesday, at which time they finish at medium size Mainbreak (whilst the box fires in the background).
It all converts to feet on US websites.
Surfline
the proper American question would be:
Buoyyyyy,What you looking at?
Jean Chianca
I’m loving the intentional misspelling of names to “drive user engagement”. You go, Chas.
These new brazzos are all so polite and friendly. Hopefully one or more of them, along with Pipeline Pip, remain a regular contender for years to come.
Unlike most of this mob, now that we’re at the beginnings of WW111 I like my surf rivalries to be respectful and positive. Most of the young competitors seem to agree with me as no one wants anyone to poop in their soup, in these here cantankerous times
What happened to World War 3 through 110?
The only good thing about the cut is you 86 a majority of the brazzo fat you have watched in every elimination round this year.
Absolutely. Let’s get the girls out there!
Nobody wants to see JMD’s box.
👀
Except maybe you Barney.
It’s probably rad!
Xox
“We looked at the Box and decided to run the contest at main break”
Followed by the box never being mentioned again
Hopefully JMD’s announcing her retirement
Nah, not now that box was mentioned!
Xox