Opportunity knocks.
Now, BeachGrit’s real-estate desk is normally manned by Derek Rielly but I had to swing in, today, to let you know of an incredible opportunity on Kauai’s paradisiacal north shore. Yes, anyone who has ever traveled to the Garden Isle has marveled at the natural beauty, the quaint pilates studios, the small markets selling homemade vegan candles.
In a word, sumptuous.
The whole island only has a population of 73,000. It’s northern bit but a fraction of that which is what makes Julia Roberts former property such a choice find.
Limahuli Ocean Estate, which sits at the gateway to the Na Pali coast on eight acres including private surf breaks, is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Listing agent Neal Norman declares, “You really do see rainbows all the time.”
Progressive.
The 3123 sq ft main residence boasts floor-to-ceiling windows with expansive views of the lush tropical landscape. There is also a 1-bedroom, 1-bath caretaker’s cottage, a 490 sq ft pool, and an air-conditioned gym. “Sustainability systems” include photovoltaic panels with Tesla batteries, Starlink internet, and a whole-house water filtration system.
And of course views of its very own waves.
The design is described as “rustic coastal soul.”White walls, natural wood tones and exposed beams lend warmth without pretense.”
The perfect place for BeachGrit’s clubhouse, no?
The listing price is a low, low $30 million but if we all throw in together, I think we could come up with it easily then, just imagine, we could sit across from each other on the couch and live chat professional surf contests all together.
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Few took the money, most wished they had. 99% vote in the ones screwing us over and over. But in a one party state the outcome is going to be the same regardless. Worst part to me is the “legends” were the first to sell out and then strong arm those that disagreed. When Quik bought up some prime lots in Hanalei changing the property taxes for the Hawaiian’s wanting to pass down their land so much that the ohana had to sell. Titus worked a deal with Quik making it all cool for them as long as he got a sponsored and a piece of their surf shop there (which is has now closed down). And then started a brand called Kauai Boys with marketing photos of the spots he used to kick me out of as a grom. The surf video exposed it all in the worst way from north to west.
I’d love to hang out, surf and share beers with all you.. some wild conversations would ensue
We could probably slam 10 yurts down on that property? Four to a yurt in bunk beds, plus ten in the main house means we’re each on the hook for 600k. Sounds downright reasonable for only having to share a wave with 49 of your closest friends.
edit: I’m assuming Chas and D can wile the owner out of enough to cover the cost of the tents. The boys will shitting in slit trenches and showering under the moonlight for the foreseeable future
Can JSC name either spot?
T’s and C’s?
She really missed a good opp by not naming it Kuaialia Roberts Estate. Could have added an extra $5m to asking price
Peak Julia or peak Michelle Pf ?? Tough call …
Peak Jennifer Connelly
good call
Jessica lange
MPf. Peak Raquel Welch or….any woman?
What you need to secure this fine property as BG H.Q. Chas, is a majority shareholder that you can piggyback on.
Someone who’s an internationally known undercover maker of gastronomic masterpieces like this ɓeĺow (using only the finest homegrown organic Kauaian produce).
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Bring back ‘The artist formerly known as Danes’, let him help your island couch dreams come true.
P.S.
I bags the role of resident brewery, distillery, garden, farm manager, and the caretakers cottage…
Jalapeno hiding in the back. Classic DSSS.
As usual, please no. For the sake of Timmy’s own personal well being (and everyone else’s sanity), never again please. Or just tell Tim to figure it out and make a new disqus handle like everyone else does here. Just stop posting pics of your gross meals, get a fucking Insta account for that crap. Would help if he tried to make sense once in awhile too.
A fun recurring segment to the site would be haole elitist homes of Kauai hosted by Neal Norman featuring all of the prime land here Hawaiians have been priced out of so tech bro vals can give their kids a chance at being a world champ like Soleil Errico’s dirt bag dad Danny did. The opening could say “With the right coaching, close proximity to Pine Trees, enough cash to buy in to the rent a local program made popular by Titus and Laird, a Blak Bear trucker hat and soft top, and a tie dye tee from Slow Your Self Down for mom so the other moms know she’s a local all of your pro surf dreams may come true for your soon to be called “Hawaiian” low level QS1000 warriors”.
Soo like 15 million people could throw down $2 each… Boom!
288,461 people would get to share the pad each week. Sounds doable, I’ll start putting the word out.
BG has 7,500 followers. if each toss in $4k, we can do it, but we can probably negotiate the price down.
solid plan. Start work immediately!
I’ll take it. But I need to raise some funds. This is the Rip Curl store near me, looking like they need a new wall mural. What do ya’ll think about me painting a shitty mural here then demanding a fortune from Rip Curl saying one of their employees requested it (I of course have no proof and can’t name them), then attacking them on social media until they’re forced to pay up as damage control?
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