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Vulnerable Adult Learner surfers
Adult learners responsible for detuning Albany's epic artificial reef.

World’s best artificial surfing reef to be “detuned” following spate of injuries

The Vulnerable Learner Surfer strikes again!

In the pretty, if isolated, Western Australian town of Albany is a thirteen million dollar artificial reef that has transformed an otherwise very ordinary wave into a legit drainer. 

Middleton Beach, four clicks from the main part of town, a five minute drive if you got wheels, was one of those joints you’d roll up to and think, damn, if only it had banks: clear blue water, white sand beach, real close to everything, but an endless line of straighthanders. 

Local surfer Peter Bolt, now sixty, spent three decades advocating for an artificial reef, formed a committee, raised money, created feasibility studies, petitions etc. 

The decisive breakthrough arrived in 2022, with federal parties committing $5 million each to push the reef project across the finish line.

'High-performance' artificial reef transforms town's surf scene | ABC News

Locals say the wave transformed Albany’ surf scene.

“It’s a bit more challenging than expected,” Peter Bolt told the state broadcaster. We were aiming for an intermediate wave, which it is when the swell is smaller. But as it gets bigger, it breaks out there and it’s fairly shallow. So it’s intermediate-to-advanced on most days.”

A win, yes? But for how long?

The joint might be detuned following a spate of injuries on beginner surfers who can’t handle its juice. 

Mayor Greg Stocks told the local press it was mostly “inexperienced surfers taking on quite elite waves. (The surf reef) does perform very well at different times, and the temptation to go there above your skill level is probably contributing to some of that,” he said.

“But having said that, surfers acknowledge that there’s risk, and all the surfing community that I’ve spoken to are delighted with the surf reef and accept that risk when they go there.

“If you don’t want to accept that risk, you can go and surf on the inside breaks which have formed, and you can get a very good experience out of the surf reef by surfing the inside breaks.”

Detuning will involve busting up a couple of the rocks in the shallower part of the wave, ie the good part, although the mayor reckons it won’t affect the joint, which don’t make sense, I think.

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48 Comments
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wayne bartlett

Australia “The Nanny State” protecting the people from themselves 🤯

The Bitchy Crab

Bravely locked in our homes!

deeks

Cricket balls kill ! Detune or ban

The Bitchy Crab

Special bins outside police stations where children can deposit lethal balls.

KnostMalone

They just need more kooks to bounce off the reefs to detune it a bit.

Wave

Albs is mostly a Boog town so ended up being perfect for a drag. As for the mocha latte sipping Monsanto investing corpo government rewarded wanker psycophants, fuck ’em off back to hell (the sunshine coast).

The Bitchy Crab

Powerful words!

Wave
Nikola

Is Filipe “TACO” Toledo driving the movement to tame the wave??

@TheRealJackMeoff

If anything they should make
it shallower, maybe a step ledge in front of deadmans rock. If there is anything I have learned, it is that VALS clearly avoid waves with obstacles in front of them.
It’s the only way I get untainted waves sometimes.

"Helmets... Period."

“Oh no, our steak is too juicy and our lobster too buttery”

Sit down to pee

So less casual flirting with the reef then, how boring

Rocks local

… if only these VALs had read that very recent, very helpful BG article full of great surfing tips for VALs – crouch like a constipated bodybuilder and point your stick straight at the sand!!

Sellme fitzgobbins

What a shame… I surfed it a few months ago and it was pretty sick , 4-5 ft ,nice hollow take off and into wall ,potential for a right-hander across the deep gutter that has formed. This artifical reef has turned a very stright beach into an a grade surf spot . Boogers were getting great tubes ,old albany boys on their mini mals were getting hung up amd pitched . I rode a gunny 7,0 and it was perfect for it
Give it time before pulling it apart

Michael Flatlately

Sounds like getting rid of the wall would be the obvious next step

Dogsnuts

Let’s tune up everywhere.
Xox

Beef & Beer

Ay ?
The council is worried about surf related injuries ?
What about the killer GW’s ?
Isn’t that whole general area crawling with the bastards ?
Good place to get a bigger boat and go fishing…

Stick man

nice and deep all around the slab…definitely some stalking going on.

Gil Gunderson

If the local council and WA Government had any foresight, they’d have employed a team of local shark heavies to enforce the lineup with an iron fist and met this VAL problem head on. Bunch of sharks keeping a bunch of VALS floating behind the velvet rope while letting a bunch of hardcore local chargers paddle through. “But how come they get to go in?” “Cause they can fucken surf ya dumb cunt!”

Tom House

Detunéd

The Bitchy Crab

Chic

NEGATRON

Sounds like a job for Ian Battrick and his mob of Thurso adjacent locals to keep the VAL’s out.

The Bitchy Crab

No need to apostrophise VALS. FYI etc.

NEGATRON

Cheers. Ever need some advice about your toilet sing out.

The Bitchy Crab

Those toilets with the hidden cistern and the pneumatic buttons. So much trouble! Avoid, yes?

Picard Madeoff

Can we get a grammar police badge?

Strayan Cunt

Hahahaha. I think him and “The Haggis Boys” could do with some time out of the spotlight but maybe a little warm for them over there? Can you imagine the article on here here if Batty Boy come down here and got mauled by a shark?

Com Turren

Drop C is the best detuning

The Bitchy Crab

No, no, D.

deeks

Open E ?

Michael Flatlately

Low slung D, down to F?

The Bitchy Crab

Open C Major, Pink Moon, Nick Drake, oowee.

ricmatic

great interview with r plant on rockenteurs. Discussing dadgad

velobwoy

That was enjoyable. Some I understood, some I didn’t, but I was entertained and I learned things. Jeez, podcasting ain’t rocket science, but how few get it right? I get so frustrated with Jamie Brisick on the Surfer’s Journal podcast. It’s like he’s always cognizant of not allowing it to get too far into the weeds lest the Vals get lost. The weeds is where it’s at! I was stoked for Warshaw to really dive into his Jay Adams stories, before he got cut off and hustled along. Hakman could’ve gone a dozen directions that would’ve been highly edifying and unsanitized to boot, but oh no. Fuckin ay, why do we always pander?

ricmatic

I hear you. no fictional movie or book got surfing or music right (or doc.) Podcasts following in their footsteps, you just gotta do it i guess?

velobwoy

At what point do surfers stop trying to be liked and understood?

Noncompetitor

Around 40

The Bitchy Crab

Warshaw the most important man in surfing, culture-wise. Keeps us hanging on by our painted fingernails.

Noncompetitor

Jamie Brisick often seems like he’s in a hurry. There is no hurry buddy, we’re driving in the middle of the night

ricmatic

Look at you flapping around over there

Dogsnuts

C standard is incredibly good although I did enjoy drop C with 11-49’s on a Jaguar for some time live.
Xox

Com Turren

the way I see it, might as well just pick up a baritone if you go down to open C. I can’t get any of my standard scale guitars to properly intonate that low, even with thick ass 12 – 56es

Dogsnuts

Refer to qotsa! Killer tone and just fine !
Xox

Com Turren

Never got on board with QOTSA after Kyuss. Was just a comparatively inferior Josh Homme project.

Dogsnuts

Qotsa Belfort set from 2005 will change your mind. The best documentation of anything in history. It’s fucked up.
Xox

Michael Flatlately

I’ve been learning the guitar lately, given how flat its been. Mrs Flatlately charged into the room screaming for me to stop playing Wonderwall. I said maaaybe.

Captain Bee Fart

Vulnerable Adult Guitarist: VAG. You have a lot to learn, sun-sheee-ine. Lesson #1 – stay off the oasis.

Barrelled

Isn’t this joint inside a protected bay? So no swell?


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