California erupts into sectarian chaos after magazine claims Huntington Beach has state’s best fish tacos

"That is ludicrous and dumb."

California is on edge, as morning drifts to afternoon, residents from Chula Vista to Crescent City simmering and stewing. Neighboring towns, generally vaguely friendly toward one another, all of a sudden decidedly not. Rage percolating.

The root of animosity shockingly nothing to do with the country’s increasingly bitter political divide nor Jeffery Epstein’s grammatically dubious text messages and emails but rather something deeper and more profound.

Fish tacos.

In an extraordinary overnight move, the acclaimed vacation/relaxation website Travel + Leisure posted a feature boldly declaring, “This Town Is Known As Surf City USA—and It Has Dog Surfing, Oceanfront Hotels, and Some of California’s Best Fish Tacos.”

Surf City USA, of course, Huntington Beach.

If the headline had read “This Town Is Known As Surf City USA—and It Has Dog Surfing, Oceanfront Hotels, and Some of California’s Best Riots” or This “Town Is Known As Surf City USA—and It Has Dog Surfing, Oceanfront Hotels, and Some of California’s Best Kanoa Igarashi” there would have been zero problem.

The “best fish tacos” bit both ludicrous and inflammatory.

Everyone, even those who call Surf City USA home, know that Huntington Beach ranks extremely low on the informal “best fish tacos in California” list. The claim, though, forced residents from Eureka to Eucalyptus Hills to declare their own fish tacos number one.

Now, in order to provide some sort of peace, it must be said the only fish taco that needs considering is the Baja fish taco which consists of two/three pieces of fried white fish on a corn tortilla topped with coleslaw, pico de gallo and a dollop of crema. The entire northern half of the Golden State, far removed from Low California, is entirely out of the conversation and should be ashamed of its fish tacos and stop making them. All inland bits, too, crap which leaves Los Angeles and North County San Diego.

Los Angeles fish tacos are ruled dumb for too many reasons to count which leaves the Valero gas station in Cardiff-by-the-Sea.

It has the best fish tacos in the state.

Peace, once again, in our time.