Ikon Pass succeeds in ambitious mission to clog mountains with kooks

"What if all the resorts could be turned into versions of Malibu, San-O and Noosa on their very worst days?"

It’s middle fall, in the northern hemisphere. That time of year when surfers begin thinking about swapping 3/2s for 4/3s and also mentally planning the yearly snowboard/ski trip. Whether a quick blast to Big Bear or a weekend jaunt in Mammoth, a big splurge at fancy Jackson Hole or a hippie trip to Taos, sliding down majestic mountains is a glorious reprieve from ocean lineups jammed with all manner of kook, VAL, barney and blow-in.

Yes, surfing has been destroyed (hate it here) but the palisades, peaks and pikes ahhhh. Simply too big to ruin. Naturally un-taint-able.

Or so it might have been thought.

For in 2018, you see, the American hospitality company Alterra saw opportunity. What if all the resorts could be turned into versions of Malibu, San-O and Noosa on their very worst days? Clogged beyond clogged with jerries, gapers and jongs?

Well, the Alterra brass put heads together and came up with the Ikon Pass, unlimited season tickets that would provide access to 60+ mountains for one fee. The idea took a few years to really take hold but take hold it did and wow.

This winter, the surfer seeking respite from the masses will be met with all of them standing in line waiting to fall whilst getting off the lift. Like the kook, VAL, barney and blow-in, they won’t know the rules nor will they care. Outfits new and garish. Many unnecessary accessories. Much entitlement. Little to no skill.

The Ikon Pass succeeded in not just blowing out the spot, but blowing out ALL the spots at once.

A wonderful and heretofore unseen extension of extreme sport stupidity and greed.

Bravo.