We, more than ever, need a surfboard Dr. Anthony Fauci.
I busted my ankle 5 weeks ago, now, trying to save a surfboard from hitting the rocks. I hate being a baby so don’t do what I’m told, in terms of recovery, hobbling around as soon as I can as opposed to resting, icing, elevating. Nursing etc. Being a “stubborn asshole,” to quote the wife. My behavior has likely prolonged the healing process and I’m still unable to surf though doggedly paddle out anyhow and do laps in the lineup, back and forth from peak to peak.
The lack of actual of surfing has given me time to observe the lineup without passion and I have noted a horrifying reality.
We are in the midst of a foam pandemic.
The Covid-learner came in with monstrosities in the 8-9ft range with zero lack of protocol awareness nor care. Some five years on, she is paddling for everything and catching with hideous style. He motoring down the line in a dumb squat, imagining a lived dream.
Those around, overwhelmed and unable to fight back due nose-mounted GoPros recording potential assault charges, have given up and gone for hand-shaped gliders, mids and long-fishes. Not monstrosities but also too much board for any slick turn or hack or anything resembling quality surfing. He bottom turning then going straight. She high-lining to the flats.
Sitting there, watching, is depressing. Sitting there what I’m watching what I’m watching, more so. Sure there are die-hards who sink up to chest on the inside, picking off scraps, but I can sense the depression amongst them, smell that one by one they are going to add a 6’10 Crowd Killer to quiver and become forever lost.
We, more than ever, need a surfboard Dr. Anthony Fauci. Someone who has been busily funding gain-of-function surfboard volume expanding tests on monkeys in Chinese labs to swing in with a surfboard volume shrinking antidote.
Have you felt the pull?
Given in?
How do you feel about that?
Dark days.
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Surfing is completely fooked. Glad I got to experience it before the downfall. Gonna go have me a HamSammish now.
Ride the best board for the conditions.
Just that quite often, the best board is more of the mid or groveler types than it is the hi or even medium performance variety.
Unless you are a 20yr old pro surfer.
I’ve never understood the fascination so many of you idiots have with wanting bad surfers to do shitty turns on boards they’re not skilled enough to ride. I must assume it’s a misery loves company situation.
Rode a 5’6″ twin yesterday, rage against the dying light, etc
For those of you looking for clarity and perspective it helps to remember Chas lives in North County San Diego.
It is a foam dependent all inclusive safe space with few equals.
Five years on, the actual pandemic isn’t over, Fauci is long gone from the CDC, and a foam pandemic means all beaches around the world are foam. Meanwhile, 65 million Americans are disabled with Long Covid and it now is the leading pediatric chronic illness, surpassing asthma.
Wasn’t Chas up to his nuts in midlengths not that long ago?
Hit the pool for the first time last week in honor of now longtime Pacifica/Sloat Blvd local was visiting. Chris and myself maiden surf trip was to Barbados early early 90’s. The heat lineup goes as follows: three aspiring surf grandpas, the one and only Child Pirate, two boogies, and one “Man Beater”. I was the worst cunt in the bunch, absolutely pathetic. Couldn’t even kick out of my first wave in honor of C. Smith because I blew the drop. The rest of the session didn’t go much better, actually felt seasick and got out early. Here is the kicker next day we make the drive 2.5 hours south; bouys 5’@12 seconds with brisk offshores. Weaved two solid cylinders and outshined the other three cunts I was in the pool with. With exception to my wonder nephew whom executed two tunnels with precision and grace of any CT groveler. Later he asked if I saw his stand up tube!? No reply only thoughts of his old man’s sperm must be superior..
I’ve been looking at soft tops for my 3 year old
I got a 10’6″ Glider for sale to make way for a 5’7″ Bobby quad. Probably should’ve got something in the middle.
No. Those look fun as hell. Give it hell while you can.
Still not as scary as just trying to survive in Australia. Almost like DR has been trying to tell us something over the years:
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Hahahaha
Panda Shittake is the shorter midlength you should be considering.
my past 3 surfs have made me realise that I may need to add a few litres and a couply inches to what i am currently riding.
i’m having issues from paddling in to popping up right that are making me want to snap my fins out.
Yeah my past 3 surfs make me realise I need to add a few litres of vodka to the mix so I can forget about my last 3 surfs
my past 3 decades of surf makes me me want to surf with a brown paper sack over my head
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I’m wearing my last 20 minute heat of the year with zero waves ridden with pride.
I spoiled my run by actually getting to my feet briefly last month.
Good thing I’m back on form and paddled for like 10 waves and catching none. Alll while wearing a yellow jersey. Good times.
that’s how I have been dealing with it.
You could always return to the uncrowded waves of your youth. Anything south of otter rock is still a flower unplucked by heathen hands.
I re-habbed on a six-three Quiver Killer and, man, that thing was good and wildly addictive. I think, very important to make distinction between a Quiver Killer, Crowd Killer, high-ish performing high-ish volume boards and blunt go-straight VAL machines.
No beef against the Quiver or Crowd Killer. Fine boards, no doubt, but from my observations, folk climbing on one prematurely purely to pick waves off the horde.
Bad people but understandable. When everybody carrying knives, you might wanna carry a Glock.
It’s a VAL, VAL, VAL, VAL world.
Work meetings now taking place below the line?
I actually love it.
Chas is definitely more forgiving to Derek than the rest of the planet. I personally agreed with his ‘too much foam’ argument and think Derek has clearly moved onto the dark side.
Same problem in the backcountry in the winter as covid brought many clowns to backcountry skiing and split boarding with zero self awareness and even less avy skills.
Oh as for surfing, we has two magical days at SanO a few weeks ago and I may never surf again as I dont want to ruin the memories of few to zero soft tops, the really non agro folks in the lineup and the 5 being closed(no traffic when we left on Saturda) due to the wild military show.
Jeez email each other
any relation to Psycho killer….was that a wardo model?
No, David Byrne model.
Well played
qu’est que c’est?
I think Wardos was called the Lady Basher?
You sound soo board.