Kelly Slater with indigenous fan
Aunty C and Kelly Slater, together at last thank you to miracle of LLMs!

Fury after Kelly Slater blocks lovelorn indigenous Australian woman

"Kelly Slater! You make me go crazy. I wish you were mine."

It was the love story that stopped the world. Earlier this year, March-ish I think, an indigenous Australian woman thrilled the internet with a love letter to the eleven-time world surfing champ Kelly Slater.

Holding a stuffed turtle for she knew it was a totem that resonated with the champ, indigenous elder Aunty C posted her love letter to Kelly Slater.

“Kelly Slater. If you see this video, um, let me know what you’re doin,” says Aunty C. “Hahahaha, hehehehehe, yeah haven’t heard from you, so, let me know what’s happening, if you want. Byeeeeee!”

Slater was tagged multiple times in the comments, including from mighty power surfer Holly Wawn, although his new role as a father to baby Tao with Chinese bikini mogul Kalani Miller clearly disqualified him from seeking a sexy meet-and-greet with Aunty C.

Aunty C, for those who came in later and haven’t been privy to her work on Instagram, is a modestly attractive woman of early middle age with a penchant for exhilarating and audacious pieces to camera whose online work might be described as effortless, honest and fearless.

Well, now, BeachGrit can report Kelly Slater, who for a very long time was universally regarded as the best surfer in the world until, first, Dane Reynolds came along and then John John Florence, has blocked Aunty C.

AUNTY C 4 KELLY SLATER

In her latest piece to camera, a weeping and laughing Aunty C again professes her love.

“FAAAAARK! Kelly Slater I’m in love with you! You make me go crazy! I’m in love with you. Kelly! Kelly! Kelly! Kelly! Kelly! Kelly Slater. Ohhhhhhhh. Ohhhhh. Ohhhh. HAAHAHAHAHA! FAAAAARK!”

And then, softly,

“I wish you were mine…”

Fury, of course, ensued, summed up in this comment:

Seriously Kelly Slater, aunty is your biggest fan and she’s keeping you soo relevant right now! At least say hello to her!!! 

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