"Kelly Slater! You make me go crazy. I wish you were mine."
It was the love story that stopped the world. Earlier this year, March-ish I think, an indigenous Australian woman thrilled the internet with a love letter to the eleven-time world surfing champ Kelly Slater.
“Kelly Slater. If you see this video, um, let me know what you’re doin,” says Aunty C. “Hahahaha, hehehehehe, yeah haven’t heard from you, so, let me know what’s happening, if you want. Byeeeeee!”
Slater was tagged multiple times in the comments, including from mighty power surfer Holly Wawn, although his new role as a father to baby Tao with Chinese bikini mogul Kalani Miller clearly disqualified him from seeking a sexy meet-and-greet with Aunty C.
Aunty C, for those who came in later and haven’t been privy to her work on Instagram, is a modestly attractive woman of early middle age with a penchant for exhilarating and audacious pieces to camera whose online work might be described as effortless, honest and fearless.
Well, now, BeachGrit can report Kelly Slater, who for a very long time was universally regarded as the best surfer in the world until, first, Dane Reynolds came along and then John John Florence, has blocked Aunty C.
AUNTY C 4 KELLY SLATER
In her latest piece to camera, a weeping and laughing Aunty C again professes her love.
“FAAAAARK! Kelly Slater I’m in love with you! You make me go crazy! I’m in love with you. Kelly! Kelly! Kelly! Kelly! Kelly! Kelly Slater. Ohhhhhhhh. Ohhhhh. Ohhhh. HAAHAHAHAHA! FAAAAARK!”
And then, softly,
“I wish you were mine…”
Fury, of course, ensued, summed up in this comment:
Seriously Kelly Slater, aunty is your biggest fan and she’s keeping you soo relevant right now! At least say hello to her!!!
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Maybe Aunty C is actually Aunt Becky masquerading as a surfer girl
you pull ya head in white bread
*damaged white bread!
Cunty A?
…C what I did there? Where’s Andy C(unt) by the way??
Aunty is on the prowl ha, no shame bruz.
Xox
Modestly attractive…..
Derek is nothing if not polite.
I can find beauty in most things.
A wonderful attribute!
makes me think his “girlfriend” is running his IG
The main question here surely has to be who does that middle arm in the thumbnail belong to? Can’t be Belly cuz its not white and freckly enough?
Of all of old baldies huge list of massive dog acts over the years this is right up there near the top of the list. Plus its dumb as fuck too cuz how do ya know how life is going to work out, any port in a storm ay
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anyone that does heart hands, should be sentenced to cell time with Connor Lyons.
Hahahahahahahaha
poor Connor.
it would be literal torture being stuck in a cell full of 20 year old hearthanders
Any dude that does it you mean, the ladies get a pass
i don’t discriminate.
equal pay for women.