"Here I was sitting alone one night after getting my daughter to bed, thinking, Maybe I’m not cool enough?"
It is Sunday, in the northern hemisphere, Monday in the southern, and the beginning of a new week at the beginning of a new year. Work to be done. Surfs to be had. Etc. But when it comes to those surfs, are you a lone wolf, waking and checking the forecast and heading to the beach all by lonesome or, conversely, are you a social surfer, waking and checking the forecast and texting pals (mates, in Australia) where to meet before heading to the beach?
Those who find themselves in the latter camp have no doubt been roiled by the explosive essay “breaking up with my toxic mom group” published in The Cut on Jan. 1 and written by Ashley Tisdale.
The former Disney Channel star torched her former coterie, which included Mandy Moore, Hilary Duff and Meghan Trainor. Each have young-ish kids and bonded over “having fun, making plans to get together, making fun of each other, just making the conversation light and fun,” according to a well-placed source.
In the piece, Tisdale (now French) declared that the vibe of the group, “took me back to an unpleasant but familiar feeling I thought I’d left behind years ago. Here I was sitting alone one night after getting my daughter to bed, thinking, Maybe I’m not cool enough? All of a sudden, I was in high school again, feeling totally lost as to what I was doing ‘wrong’ to be left out.”
Another well-placed source shared, Tisdale felt “alienated” because the other moms would not reply to the memes she sent in the group text, adding, “She felt forgotten. That is why she decided to call everyone out because she felt jaded by them. The reason why Ashley is so well known for her character as Sharpay Evans in High School Musical is because that is who she is in real life. Viewed as self-centered and over the top but at the same degree also misunderstood, she is an easy person to get along with at first but then becomes a little more difficult as you get to know.”
Well, certain members in good standing were openly frustrated by Tisdale’s tea spilling. Hilary Duff’s husband, the musician Matthew Koma, took to Instagram and posted a photo mocking the essay, captioning it, “When you’re the most self obsessed tone deaf person on earth, other moms tend to shift focus to their actual toddlers.”
Zing.
Others are said to be “annoyed” and “so over it” and “PMO.”
Surfers, in any case, warily eyeing their surf group. Wondering if they are being ignored and marginalized, sussing out levels of toxicity and if it would be healthier to distance.
Do you feel your surf group is broadly supportive or, like Tisdale’s, is it filled with mean girls?
You are safe, here.
Salty sisters are annoying cunts
Surf group, lol.
Nothing better than activating my Surf Lords whatsapp group so me and my 10 best mates all paddle out at the same time making every one else paddle in, then whinging how crowded it is when another 5 guys paddle out.
Nothing beats this Vanity Fair takedown of the Byron Bay Murfers.
https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2019/07/the-coast-of-utopia-surfer-moms-instagram-influencers?srsltid=AfmBOoqpBzvfUuS04mL_nWWDrND4OK9BFEMyrQiBOoacanX52hWkamAr
Which segued beautifully into yours.
It was rejected, if you recall, by Lonely Planet.
If they are that lonely they shouldn’t be so fucken picky, eh!!?!?
Was fortunate to have a summer holiday coincide with ok waves this year. One morning was particularly yew bewt, although not the size the forecast had predicted, which an old boy I got talking to out back had grumbled on about. Crowd was quite light and a surprising 50/50 split – men to women. The women all sat together bar one older lady who I’d heard joking to another surfer about the “Knitting Circle,” lol. One of the Circle was the best out there, by a long shot. On a longboard, but she was ripping. Super stylish. Also catching everything. Never saw any of the other women catch a single wave, but they all watched on, beaming at their champion’s prowess. Oblivious that their champ was using them as an easy mark, chatting, then quickly turning-and-burning. Middway through my session, a wave about what had been forecast rolled in. Beautiful thing. And straight to the old boy, who’d been stubbornly waiting for what he’d been promised. I’d immediately thought, she’ll be after this, but thought surely not. Just too audacious. But, there she was though, streaking across the bay, sights set. It was doing a real Kuta Beach thing, feathering all the way along, so a very broad take-off zone. He was already up and trimming in a solid death stance. But, she did it. He probably under-reacted, if anything, but had come up screaming. Followed her out, continuing to offload. She bolted for The Circle, who went into a tight huddle. Then, two of them paddled in. Real Black Shorts shit. Didn’t catch a wave in (still waveless) – paddled all the way to shore. I kinda forgot about it, but a bit later, on my way up the beach, I hear a fracas and – down the way – the old boy is trying to make his way up the beach, with three ladies, two with phones trained, full sheep dogging him. I considered helping, but I was hungry. Didn’t find any large denominations on the way back either, before you ask surfads, you cunt.
Thats wild!
Toxic Surf contest mums are the worst
Your geographical concepts are often intriguing Chas, and I really like todays one.
“It is Sunday, in the northern hemisphere, Monday in the southern”…
Niiiiice
The run rises in the north and sets in the south!
And the seasons go right to left…
Or is that left to right ?
Barrels spin clockwise in the north and anti-clockwise in the south too
Monroe hemispheres!
We need to send Bobby M. to deal with these toxic bitches
https://youtu.be/MC4WQmc-O4k?si=cVrOoqVkQXl-JoEj
Nothing is more toxic than the breeze cove surfing women/mums group , talk about a toxic bunch of FOOKs ( female kooks) .
As an opposite to that entitled bullshit, there’s a young guy here who’s trying catch 5000 waves this month to raise money for a local food charity organisation that feeds those in need. 160 waves a day in any and all conditions. And yes they are real waves with a turn or two.
Does he get full reign to be a hassling cunt or does he have to negotiate the line up to get his quota?
He’s going to different spots depending on day / swell. Typically a small inside section away from most other people. Everyone knows what he’s doing so noone’s competing with him, but might share the peak to keep him company.
He’s fricken good too.
Good on him. I hope he gets his quota
I had to google all the gals on the list….and even after checking their IMDb still had no idea who they are……and another thing, any husband that gets in the middle of a cat fight, is gay. every picture tells a story.
last time I surfed with my “surf group” was during Covid because none of us had shit to do besides surf. now, just solo or me and my Groms.
chocked up another trip around the sun yesterday, and surfed with my sons. best b-day gift an OG could ask for.
Considered buying a Christenson longboard today—am I kicked out of the comments section?
Definitely solo surfs. Little to no social upside for me surfing with someone else. Love running into friends in the water though.
I say buy it while being aware that a Wavestorm will try to mate your board at PB or Doheny.
You are thinking about buying a fucking what today?! And here I was thinking about what a decent fella you seemed. Seppos ay, only thing they seem to be any good at is letting ya down haha
I have no defense. Real dogcunt I am. You have no idea how mush it is here! There’s a reason the Mal was perfected in California and the shortboard in Aus and Hawaii bruv!!!
Hahaha onyas mate, only pulling your leg
Aah don’t break the banter mate! All for taking the piss
I know exactly what you’re saying about the waves over there too. First time I was over there the waves were so fucking soft I felt like I was stuck in reverse and had the handbrake on haha. Not surprising to me that so many of the pros get some Mayhems made up for slowers cuz my boards made for here just felt fucked over there haha
I had the same but opposite problem when I went to Aus. Boards for California would lock in way too much and not sit in the cuppy waves over your way. And then when I moved back I had the same problem flipped around all over again. Many a used board bought and resold.
This is EXACTLY how I felt going to Snapper, Greenmount, Kirra etc the first time,as the waves felt so soft. The takeoffs were so LAZY and the waves were so SOFT.
There was no charge of adrenaline trying to knife into a jacked up peak as it hit the reef or bank in WA
I felt so slow and soft
Still fun, trying to dodge every cunt on an average day.
I know it changes when the conditions are ON.
Best waves I ever had in that area there personally were just south of the Kirra Groyne during an oncoming cyclone event.
Best Beach break ever I got smashed to pieces in. Over and over.
yeah it’s all about the swell period…….on the east coast 12 secs max for their swells , at Best.
Southern Ocean our swells start at 12 sec to 22 sec…….the east coast is our Claytons!
Which goes to show how soft California is if I found the Gold Coast to be cuppy!
Don’t go listening to the desert rats from WA, they’re always talking it up. Cunts wouldn’t know what to do with a solid one behind the rock haha
I definitely read this in a proper southern Queensland accent, nasal congestion and all.
get a proper glider in the 11 -12 foot range if you want to simultaneously address this grim lack of swell in SoCal while also setting yourself apart from the kooks on logs.
I really struggle to understand how a glider is cooler than properly good longboarding. I appreciate the point of distinction from the hordes of kooks on logs, but being able to surf without a ridiculous longboard style and leashless, with no gimmick, might be all you need!
This winter makes me question life choices and if I’d be better off as a city slicker a la Quit-Lit
Logging is sick fun mate, don’t listen to these small minds.
I guess you have to ask yourself whether you’ve ever seen a kook on a proper glider, and then ask yourself whether you’ve seen a kook on a log.
I can honestly answer both—have you been to San Diego County?? I get your point but…
Lived there for just a little bit.
get a high performance longboard , not a classic….Chris does great boards !!!
Gotten a bunch of OP models from him, all have them have been fucking excellent. Was looking at his Sportsman longboard model. I have like 6-7 boards I could want without question from him. IMO somehow underrated
Thanks Chas. Now I have her face and voice stuck in my dome. After countless hours of having to hear and watch the disney high school musical movies with my then pre teen daughters, I thought I would be safe here. It was agony. Halloween costumes one year, a birthday party theme with her and the rest of the High Musical cast, school supplies,wall posters. I thought I would be safe here. Fuck I think I’m starting to hum some of the music. I gotta call my support group, I hope it hasn’t broken up.
It hasn’t. You got mean girl’d out and didn’t notice. Sorry.
Speaking of social surfing did you see the unintentionally hilarious animation surfline made trying to instruct VALs to not surf in large groups?
It was like one of those corporate training videos you see instructing you on why it’s not ok to squeeze the receptionist on the bum anymore.
Wait you’re not supposed to pinch the receptionist on the arse anymore? When did this woke new rule come in? Good job I’ve always been more of an arse slapper than a squeezer ay
I had one head of department who took a terrific delight, an erotic one, yes, in touching my nipples, oft prominent through work tee.
Ohhhh now I am fascinated, was it male or female and did it lead anywhere exciting?
lol don’t get me started surfads. The BG Mum’s group is toxic enough as it is.
Yeah well, Griffy Cola’s mum Camille came on here a couple of years ago and gave some of us a right dressing down for giving her boy a bit of lighthearted stick…
jesus christ. You’re lucky you’re all still alive.
I recall being so stunned that she’d been loitering with all us undesirables in the BG comments area in the first place that I made some kind of groveling apology for being mean to Griffy.
It was all quite embarrassing really…
Downvote for grovelling to a pinto
BG has a mom?
yes she runs Bitch Grit!
Stab Mag-
Breaking up with my toxic surf group.
By Mikey C.
Nicest dude, surfs well, shares.
Don’t be like that
Almost always solo. If I call a buddy about surfing and they say I just gotta be home by… I imediately hang up. Maybe once a year there will be a jont north or south with a single buddy. Never more than one. If I want conversation I will go surf my local.
Engraved in my memory is the best wave I ever got. Very average day, to start with. Wobbly, grey and without much guts. Then, all very quickly, sun’s out, a puff of offshore, next thing I’m on a wave that’s all cupped-out and punchy, and my non-chalance gets me slammed. Next wave was the one. I can still see it. Linked all the way through, pedal-to-the-metal. Exited to the sound of a blazing car horn, which was my mate/pal/ride who was going to be late for a thing. Never forgave him.
my network is more of a drinking group with a surfing problem
I texted my drinking group this morning to let them know that I will be celebrating MLK weekend surfing instead of skiing as the snow sucks and the water temp is still ideal for a 3/2. So they will drink without the Madeoffs.
Speak for yourself mate, you know it’s good when you crash out in the trees and can’t get back up because three feet of powder doesn’t give you much to push up on.
Still on a high from that last run.
Yes, I’m jealous as we need one of those days as they’re non- existent so far this season. Although last Saturday was a decent 6 inches of new in the backcountry but we have to climb high to find the snow.
Otherwise,we’re in shitsville.
AM I safe here?
You are safe as long as you kick the wax to a retrievable spot as opposed to bending over to pick it up where it sits.
Anyone in particular you’re wary of mate?
Dogsnuts mate,
if you aren’t careful with him you’ll end up with a five fingered bumhole….