A lime-washed North Shore classic!
The three-time champion of the long boarding world, snow blond Joel Tudor, who narrowly avoided a disembowelling at The Pipe back in December, has listed in famed Velzyland beach house for rent at $3200 per calendar month.
The house, a classic example of mid-20th-century single wall construction, and washed in a tropical lime-tinted yellow, evoking the pale inner flesh of a young guava, has two bedrooms, one bathroom, an outdoor shower and off-street parking, very useful for when V-Land gets crowded.
At $3600 per month, or roughly $120 per night, the Tudor house is excellent value, or roughly the third the cost of trying to rent a joint on the North Shore during the moaning and bucking of the winter months.
Tudor posted the house on his Instagram account @joeljitsu and the listing was met with immediate approval by his myriad fans.
“Decent price,” wrote one, correctly assessing the market.
“Brah, that’s a screaming deal.”
“Place is drip.”
The nearby wave called V-Land, a gorgeous little roll-in to an easy tube which works best under five feet and named after Californian board builder Dale Velzy, is impossible to dislike although newcomers are viewed with much suspicion.
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damn, think i slept on a mattress on the floor in that place in the…long time ago.
Not much space to store your learner boards incase the airline don’t let you bring them.
Dale Velzy was a cool old fella. Velzyland is fun. Jujitsu is gay.
In a similar vein, I saw a nice man get burned at Burleigh by a local who then did a flyaway cutback into him and came up and started throwing punches at the blow-in cunt.
Fuckin oath. The cunts are fuckwits in Indo. But their Instafraud sites make out theyre so lovely… Cunts…..
Keep him cashed in for Indo in the off season.
Joel should’ve listed in the concierge section on the Stab tribute site Beach Grit.
Let’s face it, Oahu is fucked has been for 20 years but going to VLand and complaining about the locals is akin to going to a cigar bar and complaining about the smoke!!!!
That’s a deal, as long as Joel doesn’t try to move in or evict you come December.
complete rip off. better off staying on East Side, Wahiwa, or Waialua and making the drive early to avoid traffic and paying half as much in rent.
and you wouldn’t be giving your money to joel tudor either..
Wahiwa? Wahiaw? bwahahahahaaaa!!!!
Thank you Stephen Colbert
i’ve had 3 bad situations, one that ended in a hozzy visit, all on Oahu
I returned once the stitches came out and paddled into the situation that sent me home. Back on the horse, so to speak and I was noticed. Odd thing, no one even talked to me that surf.
Can still feel one of the guys wedding ring on the back of my skull as the other guys held me down. Still a welt.
Problem was, I scored the best OTW of my life the day of the assault and was addicted. Never saw it that good again, didn’t matter. I was chasing that unicorn.
Ugly place, rats in a cage with really good people mixed in. Like everywhere else
just got back, took the fam, waves were pretty shit all week so best part was watching 6 and 8 yr olds get psyched on little runners at P point , do love checking the ceiling at NS shop , board lovers dream
Hope it was fun, but I struggle to grasp the expense of Hawaii
There’s so much world to see….
Did you see the report that red states hold many fewer passports than Blue? Curiosity is education
we try to get around quite a bit, w/ and w/out the kids. Agree, it’s very good for the soul, opens eyes, etc. My brother’s kids all grew up off the grid in west Africa, very independent great young adults.
HW wasn’t cheap but everyone had a good time. Probably won’t take the kids back in the near future , long list of new places to get them to , and we’ve got a few standards we try to get back to every year on both coasts and in CO. The missus and I headed back to Europe in a couple months , probably leave kids home for that one.
God , how times have changed ! I lived in a similar looking house design at Rocky Pt/Gas Chambers in 69 for $150 a month . We moved up to Sunset , again for $150/mo Some peo0le call it progress , Dora called it devolution , I call it destruction brought on by greed .
Three times world champ fucken Bonglorder more like it.
Xox
3 times world champ
LONGBOARDER 🤣🤣🤣
my old boy could do that …and he’s DEAD.!
It’s one and the same really 🙈
Xox
“There are less hard feelings in Selma Alabama”.
Meth lab or hydro set up? Both? Cool
Nowadays you couldn’t pay the electric bill with what the prices are for weed, and meth stinks up the hood and will get you robbed and shot.
Rogue BnB the only thing paying bills.
Need solar! Off grid hydg
The sun is the ultimate solar.
Start emin LED, finish au natural…
I want to say something but your not really wrong, only that there is more to Hawaii than Rocky’s and even the North Shore.
We pretty much have them to thank for all the hyper aggressive bullshit you see the world over, but at the same time there are times where there is nothing but aloha.
It happens….really.
I love going back but I don’t really miss it either.
I enjoy surfing by myself.
The nature of the beast I guess.
Magic happens for sure.
The ‘I’m insulted because you sprayed me when I was in a place where you had to turn to avoid me.’ thing is such aggro wank.
Seen it before. Dickheads.
Received a spray while paddling out the other because I was in the way trying to get out through a heavy set. Yes, maybe I should paddled wide, but I didn’t take it as an insult, the guy was turning and spray happens.
Besides… you’re in the (checks notes) uh, water. ?
Getting butthurt about getting more wet?
The guy clearly just wanted beef with any hoale he could get in the way of.
Sometimes, it’s the transplant haoles earning local cred that bark loudest.
Never relent. Imagine that shit is over with so many guys out now
100% SC
Used to visit 4,5 times a winter, not going back. Your hood was golden during autumn, never look back
I call it an open air prison
The part I love is how they keep telling themselves it’s all worth it because they live in paradise.
It’s paradise if you don’t have to worry about money.
at least there’s no traffic (lol)
LOL
And parking, no services, etc
Did the kookiest thing there trying to get scraps before I realised how the place ran, immediately profusely apologised before confronted and was spared. Phewwww.
Xox