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Oregon beach town turns desperate eyes to Shane Dorian after elk go berserk

"We’ve had bulls that have gored cars and have attacked humans..."

Cannon Beach, Oregon is a bucolic coastal town, some hour and a half west of Portland and five hours north of Coos Bay. It is a typical Oregon coastal, green, grey, untamed Pacific lashing long sandy beaches, picturesque rocks, just off shore, bulging to the sky. The locals, there, don’t experience much hot action, which is why an invasion of berserk elk has rattled.

The population of the cloven-hooved beast has skyrocketed, over the past few years, mobs of the horned creatures milling about, aggressively. One city official sharing, “We’ve had bulls that have gored cars and have attacked humans, pushed them to the ground, pinned them in the ground with their antlers. At that point where there’s like this kind of broad understanding of like that there’s like a public safety issue that individual has been euthanized.”

The city council is trying desperately to fix the problem, but the only solutions proffered, thus far, are maybe fencing off some areas or “creating guidance for homeowners about how they landscape their property.”

Fairly mild.

Surfers are suggesting something more robust. Namely, that the famous big wave surfer Shane Dorian be called in to action.

Oregon Beach Town Turns Desperate Eyes To Shane Dorian After Elk Go Berserk 3

Dorian, has been an active bow hunter for years, declaring, “It’s very similar to surfing. I like to go bow hunting for the very same reason I like go surfing, just to get away from the other things in life and relax and spend a day in the mountains rather than spend a day in the ocean.”

How Surfing Legend Shane Dorian Discovered Bow Hunting

He has bagged what were described as “monster elk” in the past and Cannon Beach’s out-of-control berserkers would pose no threat.

A city saved.

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Erik Bogan

7.17 for a series of half turns on your back hand, no wonder there is zero progression on the womens tour

longtomssecondcuztwiceremoved

lets go live boys, it’s on.

looks windy 2-3ft.

Strayan Cunt

What are these clowns doing brother?

Strayan Cunt

Smoko done, see ya for the fellas yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew

Strayan Cunt

Live in two minutes my fellow cunts yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew

Top Cunt

Shane should be in jail for stealing his buddy”s plasma and leaving him to die in Mexico

Good morning!

NEGATRON

Interestingly swept under the carpet that one.

Barrelled

Isn’t everything in the surf industry attempted to be kept under the rug when possible?

Brutus

oh yeah never a truer word spoken…….a dark underbelly of betrayal/money/power with more money and power at any cost being the MO……book coming soon…..

Barnycle

Hey, MC. Saw a clip from an interview on a Motorcross podcast with Kalani Robb. The host, a surfer as well, was askin KRobb about Kelly taking Machado’s board in France. Kalani shone a bit of light but said that they’d have to ask you if they wanted the full story.
https://youtu.be/CFUxFfDMfCY?si=mfFL_59FykepwuTo

Brutus

yes Kelly stole Robs board from my downstairs shaping room in France……..no excuses…and kelly had to ake off the Quik Logos…scrape off the deck grip all while Steve Sherman was taking the photos….

channelbottom

Did he eventually pay $$$ for it?

Brutus

nah Rob got the board back….but Kelly spent 20 mins taking his sponsors logos off…….but the tail pad….took ages to scrape and clean…LOL…everybody bought boards then everybody paid because as usual I was broke again still,LOL….

Dogsnuts

Highly anticipated.
Xox

Happy Camper

Would def buy a “deep underbelly” book by you.

Strayan Cunt

Am I still your plus one for the grand opening? Got meself a lovely dress and pair of shoes and something extra small and slinky for underneath xx hahaha

Strayan Cunt

I was chatting to a real close mate of the Wright family the other day bruz and heard something heaps interesting about Tyler that didn’t come as a surprise to me. If you’d like to hear let me know now this thread is quiet hahaha

Happy Camper

I thought what was under the carpet had been revealed in Dez’ Sasha articles

Blowin

……What!?!?!?

Barnycle
Barnycle

Shane-O seemed fairly happy with the results 6 months later.

Didn’t the guy die next to Shane?. He was there when the guy had the cardiac arrest, according to all the articles I’ve just read. Is that incorrect?
https://youtu.be/gzfaNTQDF_s?si=YEbFcUnif0-aw-V8

Skippy

Deer/Elk are the rats of the forest

Happy Camper

RUS’s?
Rodents of Unusual Size?

Skippy

And also amusingly pet-like except when they try to gore you

Happy Camper

nothing wrong with a good goring between friends.

Rocks local

nice

Happy Camper

Thank you. I’l be here through the weekend.
Make sure to take care of your waitresses and bartenders.

Barnycle

This Daniel Tosh guy is a laugh.

He’s interviewing his shaper from Florida and calls up his mom, on air, to ask her why she allowed a an older dude to take him to Costa Rica when he was a minor. Non-stop shit talk.

Barnycle

Also, Santa Cruz, doesn’t like female surfer statues . The NIMBYs don’t want the attention

tim_nelsen

cannon beach fish&surf report for today. all outta ammo and bait and nothing to show for it~

c4

Fishing report recommends a rowboat and some dynamite.

Brutus

grenades and a good net to bring them in!

longtomssecondcuztwiceremoved

Looks flat at Winki/Bells.

Where this 6ft swell?

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins

I just watched the replay of the Italo/Gabby heat–first 2 exchanges were legit. I think peak animal Gabby could rival peak animal AI.

Chief Hot stuff

Sem opiates,
Muito testosterone!

Gwen Walz’s Eyes

He’s gonna be an epic year

channelbottom

Which AI?
ChatGPT?

Strayan Cunt

12ft faces? Double overhead? I thought Gwen told everyone conditions today were going to be “great”?

Sean Connery

Never believe a chick’s surf forecast brother. Always rainbows and daffodils. Plus she is really busy right now between stirring the pot and re-picking who her favorite male and female surfers are.

Gwen Walz’s Eyes

I am a little pot stirring bitch. Especially when hippy and strayan cunt are in da house

Gwen Walz’s Eyes

And yes I’m joining chief hot stuff in Camp Gabriel.

Blowin

Gabby / Picklum world titles.

Chief Hot stuff

No flip floppers!!

Gwen Walz’s Eyes

I know. I hate myself

Sean Connery

I take it he gave you the ok?

Barrelled

Didn’t Hippy literally live in your house?

Gwen Walz’s Eyes

We go way back but aren’t too close anymore. Hes a good dude but a little psycho when drunk

Barnycle

Ahhh. Aren’t we all !

Strayan Cunt

So he can’t handle his piss like the rest of you Seppo soft cocks, sounds like needs a cuppla nose beers to straighten himself up? Maybe he should just keep to going to heaps expensive and fancy restaurants and then reviewing them for us all on here?

Gwen Walz’s Eyes

I hate to say it but you hang onto shit just like a little bitch.

Blowin

I think right now my favourite tour surfer ( male or female ) is………..

Gabby Brian!

No shit.

She’s not the best ( Gab Medina ) but I’m really loving watching her giving it to sections. Best female power surfer of all time. Brutal but without ugliness.

Strayan Cunt

hahahaha I knew that from the moment she claimed the waves were 7ft that time!!

Gwen Walz’s Eyes

Still not sure why you laughed at that. Mike Ho said in an interview once that his favorite size surf was 5’ to 7’. Pretty sure he has a little more cred than you.,

Gwen Walz’s Eyes

It is supposed to fill in as day progresses and be pumping tomorrow.

The buoy forecast tomorrow says 19’ at 12.5 seconds. And screaming offshores

Gwen Walz’s Eyes

And thanks to Brutus for clarification on swell direction.

c4

Can they fit all the heats in tomorrow?

Gwen Walz’s Eyes

Easily

Gwen Walz’s Eyes

14 heats 35 minutes maybe 40 minutes each if it’s inconsistent

Barrelled

So what’s your opinion on Susie Wiles eyes? They might beat your namesake.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

c4

And she’s actually the most sane one out of the entire cabinet.

channelbottom

‘Sane’ but cynical AF. Morals = none.

c4

True.

Gwen Walz’s Eyes

Nothing compared to Mrs Walz. Absolute bonkers.

Blowin

I’m completely at a loss to understand why a Jewish billionaire that doesn’t surf, running a for-profit surf contest on the dates specifically commemorating the murder of Jesus, might possibly experience such a devastating run of bad luck for waves?

Head scratch emoji.

Brutus

have you seen the forecast for Margs…way worse than here!

Blowin

Please,no.

Brutus

you have at the present….opening day 16th probably 4+ plus….and then 10 days of NW/W from about 25KPH to 60 KPH and some really big swells……c’est la vie…..sad sad

Brutus

just so you know…the swell came in super west , which means it’s weak and from the direction of the swell with 80Kph plus offshores…..and the swell is still going more west at 11 sec……..tomorrow looks like more swell super inconsistent , but they have painted themselves into a corner , by not running the best day of the waiting period, which was the first day….they do not listen to any of us …just surfline!

Dogsnuts

Swellnet dorks calling 6.3m ssw swell down here. Clickbait maxxing.
Xox

Brutus

it’s going to be pretty big on the west coast as all west swells are…..but it’s the period of the swell, 11-12 sec too weak to bend around Otway…..west swells need minimum of 14 sec…S swells can be 11 sec……latest Cape sorell reading more west and only 11 secs….there’s hardly any forecasters that really understand all the nuances of our southern ocean..

Dogsnuts

Imagine being a forecaster for a living and just continually posting bullshit.
Xox

Brutus

problem with forecasting is….everyone wants to know the future….but past models that forecasting is based on….are useless now as the sea has heated up…..it’s now like 24-36 hrs can be reliable

longtomssecondcuztwiceremoved

nah mate, Swellnet saying incon sets to 4ft by close of play today.
Building to 6ft+ by end of tomorrow.

Craig from Swellnet has nailed every swell pulse and size perfectly.

You are reading raw model/buoy data.

Dogsnuts

I am actually cross referencing the consistently inconsistent reports from where I am in the west.
Xox

Occy's Nostril

Is this where the Rip Curl Search comp is this year? Griff and crew out hunting elks between heats. Tyler Wright could take one down i’m sure…

Picard Madeoff

Those elk are surely talking to their deer buddies in Nantucket who are facing special hunts to decrease the over population

Com Turren

oh deer…

Picard Madeoff

The special deer hunt on Nantucket has been wildly successful as they offered free hunting permits to cull the herd via the ACK Deer Management Project.

resumes.mvlhawaii@gmail.com

When I used to live in Reedsport my neighbor shot a few elk that had wandered onto his property. As he was dressing them in the yard the game warden showed up and arrested him. They literally took down the half dressed carcasses and threw them away. Usually when they are killed on the road they use the meat to feed the Oregon prisoner population(that’s the rumor at least). Anyway, neighbor bonded out and ended up paying like a thousand dollar fine or something. Going forward we had to still deal with elk herds wandering into our neighborhood(Ranch road area). I luckily had a fenced yard so they couldn’t come trample my grass.

Otto

Being relatively close to Portland, you’d think the people of Cannon Beach would be supporters of Antlerfa. If only there was a local DHS building Antlerfa could go berserk against, there’d be less car goring, though innocent people being pinned to the ground would likely continue.

Com Turren

is the Strait of Hormuz open without restriction yet? All so confusing with both sides declaring victory here

Barrelled
Brutus

haha……hey just so ya know….you sent me down a great spiritual rabbit hole , when you mentioned how the Bible was censored by the Church’s….and what we read and see is only some of the story……so am studying the Ethiopian Gospels/Bible…..Jubilee/Enoch…..wow mind boggling and has opened up a whole new realm….so thank you….
Yes both sides won so who are we…we lost?

Dogsnuts

We are the fucken losers paying 3.10 a litre for diesel.
Xox

Strayan Cunt

Fucking dogs ay brother

Chief Hot stuff

Its a privelege!!

Happy Camper

the other books are so good and explain a lot.
I’ve always questioned the missing 1600 years between Adam and Noah.

Brutus

go and have a look at how and why the Ethiopian Bible is and was untarnished by man’s interference/interpretation…..

Happy Camper

I’ve read portions of the Ethiopian, but I’ll pick up the book and read it.
minister friend of mine is really into it and the other rejected books. They provide the context for a lot of the Bible.

Com Turren

The apocryhpha has some wild content at times, but I think my favorite is the Book of Armaments Chapter 2, Verses 9-21. Rather explosive stuff!

Brutus

on it tonite…the book of Jubilee blew my mind……and Yeah Monty Python , was one of my favorite comedic shows watched everyone of their TV shows and also movies….

Com Turren

Gospel of Thomas 3a.

And then consider the fact that Thomas means “twin” in Hebrew.

Happy Camper

“lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.”

Happy Camper

*pinned them in the ground

This council person is utilizing the Flick Palmateer WSL dialect.

Dogsnuts

Will you sign off on this with your fake magic marker you insufferable cunt?
Xox

Otto

You’re not crying hard enough for me to even remotely consider it.

Dogsnuts

What would it take for you to stop supporting Trump?
Xox

Sean Connery

Shane “Little Rogan” Dorian

Barrelled

They are both liliputians but Shane-O might have him by and inch or so.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Sean Connery

They are so bad ass.

Barrelled

Right Said Fred

Blowin

Not sure if you’re being sarcastic or not?

No idea what they’re like in person, but on paper they’ve led awesome lives. Played hard, done proud! From a distance both seem like reasonable individuals who’ve found what they love to do and pushed themselves to get so good at it that people pay them to do it. Healthy, rational and fair minded independent thinkers. Straight talkers. Focused on real world pursuits. Appear to be the sort of blokes you want on your side when shit goes down. Great role models.

You ever seen that vid of Rogan kicking? Fella could put his foot clean through your rib cage if he had reason.

Dorian’s surfing is still inspirational.

So concludes my review of Dorian and Rogan.

I give them 4.5 / 5 stars.

Sean Connery

I am happy they inspire you. Killing animals and posting photos of it for other men to jerk off too ain’t really my thing. Also I kinda frown upon people that use there platform to help get dictators elected. You do you though.

Barrelled

Bahahah! So we are chalking that one up to sarcasm?

Rich Marx

Say what you will about killing animals, but at least you know hunters sincerely care about conservation because they want to be able to keep killing animals.

Blowin

Don’t you think that hunting to provide food for loved ones is one of the most fundamental and admirable pursuits man has ever undertaken? As such hunters take much pride in their success. Thus the photos. Though not someone who’s ever hunted mammals, I find it intriguing and compelling . I’ve got plenty of photos of fish I’ve caught.

If you eat meat then someone has killed it for you. Though probably in an emotionless and industrial fashion. Is that better?

BTW….Rogan preferred Trump over the established shitshow of Biden/ Harris. I agreed with that opinion. Unfortunately many were correct and Trump was not the simple protest vote that many assumed him to be. Myself included.

I think it’s worth noting that Trump of today may resemble Trump of the previous era in his lack of convention, diplomacy and adherence to political norms but his stance on everything else is virtually diametrically opposed to things he once stood for staunchly.

Call it conspiracy, call it what you will but I believe that the Zionist’s grip on Trump has tightened to the point that any will he once had has been overridden. He’s now 100% their bitch. But I think that this is the stage of US society thst was going to come to fruition regardless and that it’s just Trump bringing the Zionist dream into reality.

I tend to agree with this opinion ( from elsewhere):

“Anyone saying Trump should “detach” from Israel is detached from reality.

What do you think the Epstein files are for?
What do you think Miriam Adelson’s money is for?
What do you think AIPAC is for?

You think Trump can just “detach” from Israel without at the very least having his blackmail released and being financially ruined and more likely to just be given the JFK treatment???

Even if Trump weren’t completely owned by Zionists the idea that the US can simply be detangled from Israel at the whim of the President is childlike in its understanding of the power structure in the US.

The tentacles are too deep. This government will never be detached from Israel until it is replaced by a different one. Ever”

Sean Connery

No issue with hunting if it’s not trophy hunting, endangered, all usable meet and fur is used and it’s not posted on social media.

Chief Hot stuff

Someone has to do the hard yards,.

Chief Hot stuff

Dosent it feel like youve written basically the same thing 30 times in the last 3 weeks?

Chief Hot stuff

No election help needed in iran

Sean Connery

Iran to the store for beer last night because that’s the only thing that would get me through more Bells heats.

Chief Hot stuff

Iran thru the mrs lastnite

Occ Topus

Blowin, you must be new here. Your post is reasonable and intelligent, however you are missing a key point. No matter one’s accomplishments, if their political views are different from yours, folks must be branded as wrong-headed nincompoops. Get with the status quo (i.e. left of center), or better yet, keep your political views to yourself. Talk about the weather, top notch steakhouses, or (god forbid) surfing, and you’ll get along just fine

Barrelled

I think the key point missed is actually sarcasm. Regardless of how you want everyone to interpret your personal political views, sarcasm can be pretty damn funny, especially when it’s missed.

Occ Topus

True on both points. I was being sarcastic! 😉

Barrelled

Exactly

Gwen Walz’s Eyes

SteakGrit

Com Turren

to T-Supplements make everyone look the same? I recall Barry Bonds’ head getting rather large in his later playing years as well

Sean Connery

They are both around 5’8″ but pretty sure those numbers are juiced.

Jack John Johnson

Shane is my least favorite of the Sons of Fun.

Barrelled

Bow hunting is probably the worst possible method for wildlife mitigation. That said, it’s probably much more effective than the Coos Bay version below.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…


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