“I love to sail forbidden seas, and land on barbarous coasts.”
Nothing but nothing beats surfing from a boat. Waking up with the roll of the sea, sipping the morning Americano while leaning on the taffrail, grabbing board and waxing on the sugar scoop before plunging in and paddling the few short yards, or meters, to the lineup without duck-diving. Paddling back, two hours later, to lunch on pesce crudo in the salon, washing it down with a crisp Sancerre, waiting for the tide to drop, just a scosche, before session two.
Well, one of the most famous yachts in the world is reported to be on the block and surfers, everywhere, are checking savings accounts, retirement accounts, 401ks etc. to see if there maybe just might be enough capital for purchase.
Yes, Jeff Bezos Koru, just three years old, is apparently being shopped for a reported $500, or such, million. The 417-footer is one of the largest sailing yachts in the world and features a glass-bottom pool, three jacuzzis, defensive water cannons, a figurehead of topless Lauren Sanchez, a crew of 36 and room for 18 fellow surfers.
It also produces an enviable 7,000 tons of carbon emissions per year.
Bezos is allegedly seeking to move on because Koru is too big to dock in places like Monaco and Venice. Surfers, though, have no need for docks, only anchorages and with a crew of 36, getting the anchor up if the windless breaks will be no problem at all.
It is reported that Koru costs around $30 million a year to maintain and so surfers, everywhere, are also checking underneath the couch cushions for stray coins.
Best of luck.
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You’re just upset we couldn’t have a splash together
Every time I went it seemed like everywhere else was sick and it was dribble shite there. But that also could be because I was, yes, in this instance, a clueless seppo cunt
Would getting my leg chomped off give me a visa
Newcastle?
I bet this thing ends up in the breakers yard ..
I ordered lunch and walked next door to a shop called Mollusk while I waited on the slow kitchen
A tall thin Japanese girl wearing little was dancing to a song in her ear buds while her friends were putting the most grotesque boards on the horse and animatedly discussed the design merits of the worst surfboard I had ever seen. Then I noticed that all the surfboards were dogs. I looked around, was I being filmed? Had to be a joke, but my food must be ready so I began walking back toward the discussion and the door
Caught one of the tourists eyes after redrooling on his chick and he gives me the thumbs up? Was he giving me permission with the chick? Hipster kid looks up and I ask him if he’s going to buy the boards that they are looking at? Turns out, the Japanese are selling the hipster on repping the foreign, rockerless 6 fins. 6 full sized thruster fins in a tight configuration that even the imagination can’t see water flowing through
“ Whaddaya think mister?” The hipster doofus asks….
“ You really want to know.”
“ Yeah man, this guy wants me to commit to a few of these”
“ Com Turren would buy one”
She was thin? Must be GLP-1’s in the world according to Hip.
why are you so thin skinned? there are so many women at yoga that suddenly lost major weight. look at their faces… gaunt. 40 year old women don’t get gaunt surfing.
back to your innocent bubble…..
I would read a novel of this
I was thinking we need more of this when reading it
I would buy a tall thin Japanese girl?
nice Hip.
I woke up yesterday probably half as hungover as your mate SC- had to type up the recap and then had a surf window.
was thinking OH point surf, noice and fun.
Turned out the local was Double, maybe close to triple OH- square with endless sets pushing onto the front ledge.
No one out, due to the 10/10 difficulty of the rock-off at high tide.
I stood on the ledge for 20 mins before realising it was life and death and I was too compromised to try.
Down to the keyhole, normally the easiest of go outs. This time a maelstrom through a rock garden with bommies sucking dry everywhere on the way to the line-up.
50 clean paddles on a normal day- this time a turbulent mess with top to bottom tubes pushing straight at you.
I heard a whistle, look-outs on the bluff (angels) pointed seaward to go and go now.
Which I did.
Duckdove a double overhead set right next to the rock ledge and it was draining hard.
Took a minute to calm the heart rate.
One guy out by now, he’d taken on the front ledge rock off and survived.
The angle was square, big ledging drop into a backwash- behind the rock Snapper, if that means anything. Distorted wave shapes no easy in- freefall or nothing.
First wave I was in when the backwash hit then I was in mid-air, perilously close to the ledge as I got pounded into the sandbank, then rocks.
A very good beating.
Paddled for another, missed it.
Turned and a throaty, spitting monster was already top to bottom on top of me.
I had to bail and this thing picked me and ragdolled me proper, dragged down again and again.
My mate on the headland said he was sure it was going to be a double wave hold down.
Came up, the next was top to bottom on top of me- a quick gulp of air and smashed again.
4 on the head and I was white, seeing stars.
I knew I was in the rock garden, in a bad place, but I had to get out of that impact zone.
I tried to hold the back of the board and head for the rocks, the wave picked me up and just pinballed me through boulders dry and nasty. At speed. I didn’t care, I wanted dry land.
Beaten up, bloodied up.
No successful rides.
I called it and went home.
I have a dent in my shin bone from your point, the keyhole.
1984
very good book.
How’s the spider shed?
overgrown.
Fuck that was a ride
Those rock jumps are, to quote Sal Fitz, a surfing ick. Could see it so clear in my head
I don’t mind them- one of the few things that can filter a crowd when there is a heavy entry and exit.
All about perspective, you’re right. Parking at Burleigh was a greater deterrent than anything else to be honest.
Is Burleigh a myth of SW?
I drooled over photos for decades. Visited for a decade. Never got good Burleigh
Everywhere else is pumping.
Surfing World was the best surfing magazine ever
I heard it was sick at a time and that the sand changed, likely overtime somehow thanks to the Superbank? At least that’s what a lot of older local guys would posit.
I visited in the 80’s.
Scored every other spot
It’s funny how iconic Logan Murray’s photographs were
Sold a dream
Well then who knows. I always made the trek from Miami down to Snaps and Dbah. Beach breaks north of Burleigh would get pretty sick once in a while. Loved surfing the Spit.
I had a hard time scoring down into NSW. Just how it goes!
What decade were you passing through there?
bank now is as good as it gets I reckon
I was lucky enough to spend almost three weeks at a mate’s unit at Burleigh when I was late teens. The intent was to get a few waves but concentrate on partying flat out and fucking ourselves silly with the local lasses. Ended up going out at night just once. The rest of the time was utterly relentless surfing on that beautiful point. Still didn’t get that Munga Barry backlit dream wave but insane waves just the same.
Faaark ! You’re gunna feel that tomorrow
Fortune favours the realistic
Just ate tacos sitting in the same area with Billy Bob Thorton. We didn’t speak nor meet but I can officially say we ate tacos together on Cinco de Mayo.
Felicidades, señor.
🌮
Cinco de Mayo, the biggest Mexican holiday that no one in Mexico actually celebrates.
Thanks for reminding me I would have totally forgot about it.
100% of sales is for semi alcoholic gringos, 50% of that is hoisted by Com
Like St Patrick’s Day. The Irish barely blink at it but Americans go full retard.
It’s always easier to bring the anchor up on a windless day but a windlass helps.
“…eat the rich”- Lemmy Kilmister
at 417 ft. with a 5 m (17ft.) draft, you probably aren’t “plunging in and paddling the few short yards, or meters, to the lineup”
That’s the whole point of Abeona.
still looking at 217ft with a 13+ft. draft.
basically, gonna need a skiff to the break.
point was, you ain’t paddling just a few meters to a wave from the sugar scoop of Koru.
You think Bezos has had work done on his face? I’m 50/50 on it.
If he did, you’d think he would have had the droopy eye fixed so I’m going no.
his skin seems so much cleaner and smoother so it trips me out. I feel like a bit of grit is important for an older bloke to not look weird
If you were worth $240 billion you’d probably get some of the wank blisters removed from your hand too.
I thought those were warts!
Oh for sure he’s had a little lift.
But you think he did that and left his eye all droopy? Do you also think Steph and Carissa are taking GLP-1’s like Hippy does?
Speaking of spending money, guess whose twinzer fish this is gonna be?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Airbrusher needs to work on his taping game.
makes it more authentically Van Halen
There should be an epileptic trigger warning on that thing.
It’s putrid
It literally hurts to look at.
Everything hurts. By whom?
Piper surfboards out in Florida. Guy does good work.
FL shapers underrated, good pick
I’m very unaware of the East Coast shaping scene. Surprised you didn’t go for a CC Twinzer or better, a Stu Kenson. Always fun to mix it up.
I got a Lucid Fish by Luke Daniels in Aus shipped over. We went skitz on the design. Was an update from a secondhand I got from him, just a bit more foiled out.
he was on my trip to Salina Cruz last year and is going again this year, so it’s a bit of a bro transaction. pin tailed twin he made me last year goes insane.
Need a translator?
Those connections are the funnest.
I know enough Spanish to get by. Piper a little more so.
Im riding a Kenson..
Board hate incoming
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Josh Hall?
https://www.danielssurfboards.com/
logo looked a little similar
Looks fun
would like a touch thinner but goes great for around here in SD
Is that from same guy Rasta been riding.. Sorry see below..
So let me get this right. You live in southern California. You decided to get a board that is a combination of 2 different designs, the twinzer and the fish, both of which were created in southern California but you ordered one from a guy who lives where the waves rarely get over 1 foot?
yes, you have that right, but you left out the part about the sick Eddie Van Halen Frankenstein tribute spray.
my first thought was it was a Split Enz album cover and you sprayed it like that in honor of the upcoming Manu Bay Pro.
Criiiikey Camper
It may not be an accurate representation, but is obviously inspired by EVH’s guitar…
I thought at first it was a red version of Pottz 90’s green airbrushes.
2nd the Split End thought..
I was trying to avoid ripping the shitty airbrush job again.
well, if you’re gonna be that way about it, perhaps what I’m currently imbibing is more aesthetically pleasing to your eye?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Nah it’s gay as all fuck
Tip it out
Give yaself an uppercut
And crack a fuckin’ cold beer, at any time of the fuckin’ day…
Ya dog cunt
well put kind sir
You’re drinking a pussy colored cocktail? Better take the runaway truck ramp quick.
you don’t like Palomas? It’s Cinco De Mayo!
I prefer Greyhounds but nothing wrong with a little cunty coloring.
Maybe boards that are made for getting the most out of small shitty Florida waves work good for someone that’s really heavy and surfs four foot So Cal waves.
Often times your everyday surfer that keeps ordering and trying new equipment is just someone who’s not yet comfortable with their sexual identity. Give Com a break…only a lad.
Though given his choice of drink it appears he may have moved beyond mere ‘experimentation’…
How’d you know!!!
went through in my 20’s.
whether to be a slut or monogamous.
Split Enz?
Com, you need a board intervention
you said that like 5 boards ago. It’s just a habit. I can quit any time.
Portuguese brand doing non-black wetsuits you might enjoy
https://jangawetsuits.com
Goddammit I love me a Twinzer.
If anyone has a spare BH Minami they want to get rid of, I’ll take it.
Danny Kwok?
hahahaha thats a ghastly spray.
I wanna be like, David Lee Roth, 20 girls, suck me off, I want a great big rubber nose, I wanna get round in…pantyhose!
Xox
Michael J Fox spray that cunt ?
Piet Mondrian
fucken weird cunt
Im riding a 7’2 that I cant get off of.. tapered stringer.. I’ll change up once it pushes past head and half just cause I don’t want to snap it.
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Layered
The quality of the overall build was fantastic. You know, the Titanic had a swimming pool and it’s STILL full of water. Amazing.
Trump just TACOed yet again
and on a Tuesday yet again🤣
I wonder if the carbon footprint calculation includes Bezos’ 250ft/75m “support vessel” that carries a helicopter, speed boats, jet skis etc.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
She’s called Abeona, worth about $75 mil, and no one gives a shit about the carbon footprint.
I’m assuming the guy who commissioned a mega yacht with sails does, but maybe that was his ex wife.
I just figured anyone who owns a personal yacht or private plane could care less about carbon footprints.
You wouldn’t buy or build a 400′ boat in the first place
The putting green does seem like a good idea though
A refrigeration guy in St Maarten once told me he was making daily trips to St Barths to deliver $10k worth of freon to a superyacht due to a leak they couldn’t get parts to fix for two weeks. The captain had guest coming and no AC was not an option.
Proper Bond villain style