"Lol bro, surfers been riding bikes to the beach for decades!"
Surfers who travel to, and from, the beach via e-bike are reeling, this morning, after Onewheel lowered its barrel and blasted away, calling them the “kookiest people on the planet.” But you are certainly familiar with the electronic standing pads featuring one large wheel, hence the name, in its center? There are a few enthusiasts in my town, both really gear up when they go cruising with full-face helmets, knee, elbow, shin and forearm pads etc. Every time they whiz by, I imagine some deep internal malfunction.
The fusillade against e-bikes, in any case, came from Onewheel’s official Instagram and delivered by a a handsome man with long brown hair and the makings of a fine beard. Speaking to someone off camera, he says, “Surfers that are riding e-bikes are the kookiest people I’ve ever seen in my life. You’re a surfer and you’re riding a bike? The two don’t correlate.”
He continues to extoll the virtues of Onewheel, the assumption being, I suppose, that surfers should lose the silly bike and ride something more natural.
Pouring salt in the wound, Onewheel captioned the post “Don’t be kooky. Ride Onewheel.”
While it might have been thought e-bike riding surfers would take a hard look in the mirror, evaluating their choice, initial comments appear to be mixed. A sampling:
“Lol bro, surfers been riding bikes to the beach for decades!”
“One wheels are kookier than e bikes”
“One wheel is by far the kookiest”
“Who is this guy ! He’s definitely kooky for saying this”
And a meme of Ken Jeong saying “Gaaaaaaaay.”
Do you have any thoughts?
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
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One wheel, One Heart, Let’s get together and feel alright
We all have been laughing for years. I laugh harder when some catches a rock.
Quite entertaining.
So lame. everyone knows you can’t attach a basket to a Onewheel…..and surfers do love their bike baskets. #1Weelis4Kooks #motosk8brdwaycoolr
MEANWHILE
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
WHO WOULD’VE THUNK IT…
Griffin loves a one wheel firing down the boardwalk sucking his lollypops dreaming of writing a childrens book.
This is the shit we come back to Beach Grit for.
https://youtu.be/6BXCwzZdtwo
Connor looks insane again on that backhand. Some chunky waves in this vid.
We got an old guy with a one wheel
Looks like cross between Jeff bridges and Jimmy Buffet, doesn’t bend his knees and is an accident waiting to happen. Mid 60’s or older. Has an E scooter too. No helmet, flies through stop signs.
I’ll send you guys the obituary when it happens
crash imminent
Doomed
i just have an issue with how we grew up which was self-propelled and the new shit is cool and looks fun but half the experience is how hard you worked for it
Bank loans access your future now Skip
A bigger spider web than marriage
First compliment I can ever remember getting from a a girl was about my calves. They were from riding my 1-speed, $50, imitation BMX around the neighbourhood (luckily no hills). Worked for those gains.
Have they finished counting the votes in California?
countdown to ecstacy: 2hr, 35 mins and 10,9,8,7…red will bleed and the blues will remain…that’s cali~
I hope the Karen wins.
I had a shot of a one wheel the other day.
Allow me to paraphrase Derek Reilly in describing the experience as like being rimmed by a trannie who might be your uncle. Danger mixed with a terrific excitement, a wild ol what-if.
Though not so much danger and excitement, but more I-hope-to-fuck no-one catches me.
And deeply, deeply homosexual.
And they say you are a shitty writer.
Mean girl
funny but mean
Might be one of the best things I’ve read from the Scot
Derek’s childhood trauma
All the guys I see with these sorts of one-wheel varients looks so damn awkward.
It’s also very “look at me!” in a way that reinforces their inherent dorkiness.
Bless ’em.
So the dismantling of the NOAA hit the NY Times today.
It would be fairly awesome if the journos on this illustrious website could start truly tracking this story and seeing how it develops. Maybe 30 minutes of research a day? 3 days a week? Talking to the people who have been let go. Talking about who has most been affected so far. Which person. Which organisation. Which businesses. Is Elon in charge now of this data?
I presume that there are some disgruntled, former employees who would be willing to talk to BG.
This could be a real cause celebre, for our refined community. Imagine BG became the most knowledgeable of all the surf journos on the topic, as the years roll on, or at least up there with the most knowledgeable of them. Bunk Moreland said – I think it was him – that a police is only as good as his C.I.s (confidential informants). Let’s get a few of those going. NOAA has been part of my life almost since I started using the internet, even though I still know practically nothing about it. Maybe Jen See would be willing to help, even if it pulled her, a bit, away from her upcoming, epic tome. Interview some of those lovely scientists up at UCSB, and even possibly SBCC. Or even an unpaid intern from journo school.
Maybe I’m barking up the wrong tree, but it’d be interesting to be there near the beginning of a long, developing story. The story of the dismantling of one of the most important tools in maritime history.
Heck, maybe this could be the story that raises BG’s profile high enough to get some Al Gore media type to buy the company and the principals can finally cash out, and rid themselves of the burden of bringing daily happiness and joy to all 100 of us. If necessary I’ll happily do my part of creating alt accounts so that we bump those numbers up. Maybe even contribute a badly written story, that will need heavy editing, on how the sargassum seaweed is affecting the southern Caribbean in the age of a neutered NOAA.
Just a thought; ignore me if this is the sort of thing that should more be associated with some other publications. Just a bit upset with Miller and Yarvin, and whichever other ghouls they associate with, having read the headline today.
This could be the beginning of the final payday, lads. Seven figures.
https://oceanobservatories.org/2026/05/nsf-ooi-descoping-update-for-the-community/
People generally go to swillnit or stab for that crap. BG is for the latest in beachside real estate and surf accoutrements.
I know. But I went to SN and there was nothing on it. I just want to know what my fellow surfers think about it. As I say, this could be a long, running series. SW and SN seem to have take the shark by the horns over in Australia, relating to the very scary situation over there. So a chance for BG to take a different course. Very dumb ans out-of-timing for me to try and make suggestions, yet still I try.
El Salvador is going to be worth watching just to see Tyler, with White Lives Matter written on her board, taking the knee for Henry Nowak..
oxymorons get the most attention these daze. “only a fool would say that…”
James Bickerton, Scott San Diego, LGR , Valient Score, DSS&S, and even the original Strayan loved these guys.
I used to argue with LGR often, but I miss the young lad
ScottSD LOL
You must be joking son, where did you get those shoes…..
…These things are gone forever, over a long time ago.
still gives me goosebumps. see my post to Occ above!
Steely Dan have no equal.
St monica 1975. listen to the introduction then break into Bohdisattva. I WAS THERE!
https://youtu.be/gxOG-kgfvs…
Oh man, I would have LOVED to have seen them in the 70s.
I have this CD… the intro to Bodhisatva is hilarious. That dude was SO wasted!
Aluminium Dan is lighter but less durable.
Silver Dan needs to be polished too often and dents easily, and also fairly expensive.
Is Chas OK? I’ve seen two different shark attacks in the past 2 days, including one surfer named Koa Smith but not that Koa Smith.
You have the VAL acronym all fucked up with the valiant thing. Pretty much the polar opposite of what VAL was intended to mean.
On one level I really feel for this guy. Obviously painted himself into a corner when he cocaine-brainstormed the idea of the One Wheel around some nightclub cistern at 3AM and then actually followed through. Telling his aghast friends , after he’d withdrawn his college fund to go into production, that he was sick of his Mom berating him about his life’s meandering direction and was finally going to do something real.
Now he’s waking up everyday, pushing this One Wheel shit uphill, when he knows more than anyone that it’s a bust.
Like the guy that got the full chest tattoo of SpongeBob SquarePants for a laff, hates the sight of it himself, yet spends the next seventy years justifying it to people.
Hardcore.
not that anything’s wrong with dat~ https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Let’s play a guessing game. Which commenter in this ragtag group of heathens owns a one wheel?
You got a unicycle hanging from the rafters in your garage. Along a pouch of juggling balls in case you’re feeling extra spunky
Right next to the pogo stick.
tell me you’ve never bonga-boarded~
Burning Man refugee.
I’m still using a flip phone from 2005.
Oh this is fun. I’m going with Com Turren.
Spotted Com’s whip in the IE the other day https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
shit, I want that
Just think of all the tail you’d pull in Lake Havasu.
“Stop em when he’s passin by….”
no, but it’s only a matter of time before a family member buys me one and it ends up in my garage next to all the other kooky accessories they’ve bought me.
That’s exactly what I was guessing. Send a picture of yourself opening it, when it comes.
I’ve had cars that cost less than a one wheel
Family members buy them for you…..
Sure.
Where is the blow by blow of the trip? You promised before you left a full post and you’re holding out on us including the performance review
I said I’d review the Van Halen board, which I did last week in like two sentences (goes insane). You want a blow by blow on the trip? Was smaller than last year, but shoulder to chest high and pretty consistent all week. Pumped as soon as I left. And drank 101 beers in 6 days, which is something I already put on your radar.
Record debauchery
16 beers a day
Plus
Dang
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
You got skills
IF I’m pulling a wheelie on my ebike is that considered a one wheel? Do I get style points if I only have one hand on the bar while checking IG posts with the other hand?
You will only earn a head shake from Mrs Madeoff after you fall on your back trying to act like a teenager.
Ive endured those head shakes for over 35 yrs so nothing new there. I was recently told I will never own an ebike so my dreams of wheelie glory have been shattered.
Newsflash: One Wheels are every bit as kooky as e-bikes.
In other news, west side of BI is pumping. Biggest south swell in the last couple of years. 3 hour session today… exhausted but stoked.
You surfed a beachie or a reef ?
A reef in Kona.
H—-r lefts?
L****’s.
SOMEONE CALL SECURITY
It’s on google maps, not exactly a secret spot.
Once reserved for royalty.