Fugue in D Minor.
I woke up on a day I can no longer remember, showered, shaved, finished house cleaning, packing, etc. then followed the family out to the waiting Uber, locking the door behind me, ready to go to the airport and enter that particular portal between life and death where all customs, save customs, are suspended.
Purgatory, I suppose.
I used to spend days, maybe even weeks, in this fugue state, traveling to Lebanon or Yemen via Moscow or Djibouti via Dubai. Flights of twelve-ish hours each. Eighteen-ish hours killing time in Sheremetyevo 2 or Addis Ababa Bole International. A couple six-ish hours in some other airport. Maybe a weird hotel in Addis that was part of the airline ticket making the airport extra weird.
I haven’t done that sort of thing in some time. Now it’s mostly directs to Europe or New York or Mexico. All fine places with clean routes, though without the fugue and I forgot how epic it can be.
The family decided on a Moroccan surf trip, a few months back, and off we went on a day I can no longer remember. A few hours to LAX, a few hours in the airport before flying to Paris’ Charles de Gaulle where eight hours were killed before the flight to Marrakech was announced delayed, another hour, another three-plus hours to Marrakech equalling some twenty-seven hours in all. Not a long amount of time in normal life but a purgatorial eternity in transit.
The joys of a rules-based order dripping away.
Any sort of food sought after regardless of appropriateness. Pain au chocolate at “dinner time,” cheeseburgers for “breakfast.” Little tuna with wasabi mayonnaise in the middle of the night or steak tartar at brunch hour. What’s “right” be damned. The only question is what do you “want” and how many hours will it kill.
The same for drinks. Whisky soda for “breakfast,” whiskey neat at “dinner time” and espresso at witching hours.
Falling asleep like a bum whenever and wherever. Watching movies or reading old magazines wherever or whenever else. Staring at a wall in a stupor while businessmen scurry around making calls. Laughing at both nothing and everything.
By the time the family actually arrived, it felt as if I’d lived both ten lives and didn’t exist at all in those twenty-seven hours.
What an actual joy that feeling is.
Hot take…
Surfing in Europe? Kinda sucks?
Traveling with boards there had to be one of the biggest fucking hassles in my life so far. And for what? A transplanted SoCal beach lifestyle vibe for euro jock barneys and constantly being hungry because the portions are so small while still getting gutted by prices?
Europe for me is all culture trip. Art, food, music and a carry-on bag and that’s it for me.
Would love to hear the rebuttal that proves I’m just on the other side of the draw. My surfing experiences in the Atlantic have been piss poor. Pacific and Indian Ocean for me.
Feel you, Chad. Waiting for the bus back to Syd from Melb. Don’t know how the other half live flying virgin or jetstar. Glad they’re not in this terminal tbh. Eww
I got the train recently to and from Melb
Sleeper, slept all the way, loved it, but very old train.
not for light sleepers, clickety clack, bang!! Oomph, hiss
Always knew you were the real man of the people, big chief
remember the days when people used to dress up when they traveled on planes?
Airports were like a fashion parade.
Airports are somehow the most inspiring and depressing places. Human fashion has taken a real dive.
I’m currently in Denver.
go west
Back to the coast tomorrow and can’t wait. No real wave pools in Denver (yet), only this.
https://www.waterworldcolor…
Maybe they’ll add one to Casa Bonita
Don’t forget to bring a towel.
I once voluntarily turned up 22 hours early for my flight to Bali just to get away from my missus.
she kicked you out early, eh?
Yeah mate apparently two 28 day solo stints with a visa run to Singapore was two 28 day solo stints with a visa run to Singapore too long haha
completely understand, if you were flying Singapore Air.
Singapore Airlines was my first and last taste of airline luxury, London – Singapore was a breeze. Still have coffee at home in the cherished mugs i stole from that flight 10+ years ago.
I mostly do shit short-range euro flights, and I don’t even fly often. Ryanair man , such a thin line between humans and cattle.
I like getting out on the tarmac
Ever get under the wing or check out the engines up close? Ground staff freaks out
Im just glad im alive
Fuck that, life too short to endure the indignity and frustration that budget carriers like Ryanair and the thankfully dead Spirit represents….
Wait until that bastard o’leary ryanair CEO manages to implement standing tickets. Like inner city buses. He’ll find a way sooner or later that greedy fuck. He’s bent to create the cheapest, most profitable and yet most uncomfortable way of flying possible.
Everytime you get on a plane there is a chance of dying in a fiery explosion.
I have decided that if that should happen I don’t want it to be on a lame airline with lame service with my kids scattered across the plane due to random seating in economy.
@DHMF. From a comment below an article you wrote one year ago.
a year ago edited
”Hah! DR only accepts every few with this one (an article) inspired by a Chas visit. I met DR in Singapore and wrote one up on that but DR didn’t want to run it out of modesty. Not a steady gig. I’m down here like the rest of you! But after 10 years, most of you have become people I’d love to actually meet and share a laugh with in real life, including Chas and DR.”
I forgot how sweet you could be. Also, in that thread was the only ever appearance (2 comments) by the famous surf photographer Mezapixels. He was the photographer on the best waves that I’ve ever seen or surfed, March ‘08, but is so good at not disclosing hidden spots that he refuses to even acknowledge my attempts to get some shots of the swell from him. I tried to recruit Matt Kechele into my quest to obtain some photos but, alas, there too I was ignored. They’re very good at what they do. So it goes.
Anyway, I award you the #COMMUNITY award for being such a joyful writer.
I sail. First class is over rated . Psuedo nourishment for the ego.
sitting in a first class seat somewhere over middle America right now. I do wish I were sailing.
How good does it feel when they shut the curtain? I bet its invigorating.
it’s like when Negs used to ban someone, total relief!!
jk , truth is if you know how to play the game you don’t actually pay for the upgrade , so basically I’m just a first class blow in
Your wife didn’t splurge for you and book first class?
by the looks of the photo, that’s the 1st class lounge.
Its not, its a hotel.
yep, discovered that when I scrolled down.
wasn’t there last time I was in France.
these days anyone with a credit card get into a lounge
disgusting!
the unwashed masses were never allowed in the lounge when I used to fly 1st class.
A new Coco Ho film to share with your wives and daughters. She surfs really well.
https://youtu.be/0OBRW1dkobQ?si=WTMI-X80Lp2r1QEi
That’s an understatement! She’s probably the best women’s surfer on the planet right now.
Fuck me. Can you translate which of those statements is meant to be positive and which is negative? Could go either way on either sentence.
Way off topic but ever notice Coco Ho goes through surfer/boyfriends like a hot knife through butter?
Harry Bryant out? Who is in now?
Maybe Parker Coffin.
smart girl—get in on that trust fund
Coffins got a nice pad at Pipe.
and at Hollister Ranch
And part ownership of CI surfboards. Both of them have part ownership of a surfboard company.
Sold it
Very curious how the friendship dynamic of Harry/Mason changed now that Haz isn’t porking his seester
Nothing wrong with that. Variety is the spice of life. Unless she gets with some guy from her island it’ll always be long distance and that’s basically impossible for most people.
And while she seems very cool, and that is the number one criteria for a long term relationship, all of her partners can get younger, taller, hotter versions of her. Whether you can find a cooler version is another question entirely.
Good for her. Fuck the world.
Also, what’s your inside scoop? Is it the chap who was walking next to her in the surf video that I linked above?
After your clip above I glanced at her Insta and there is a photo of her and Parker Coffin. Definitely not saying there is anything wrong with it, and maybe he’s not her beau but it’s an observation.
“ Boo-hoo. Little Lord Fauntleroy’s tummy hurts because there’s too much roast beef in it”
Travel is epic. Embrace the suck. Hope you score some waves but Morroco looks like a bit of a shithole. Another one of those brown water , third world chimp-out hotspots . Thankfully it Hoovers up thousands of Euro gronks that would otherwise be floating around Indo.
They would most probably be floating around the Algarve or the Canary Islands, as they work in different seasons to Indo. But guess where they will end up with all their artificial overconfidence, cultivated in the busy, foamy infested shores of Morocco, Sri Lanka, and the Philippines… Our beloved Indo.
no hard feelings~
Totally relate – just did 29 hours door-to-door Lisbon/Amsterdam/Seattle/Oahu last week and it was a full on mindbender! Started with a 2am Uber ride and moved on to Tequila soda doubles for “breakfast” in Amsterdam, followed by decent food/beverages and a murky 4-5 hours of sleep on the 10.5 hour leg to Seattle. 5 hour layover with 4 gate changes, falling asleep sitting up with a belly full of I can’t even remember what, and then the last relatively short 6 hour leg to HNL (where I had a reclining exit row seat with an empty seat beside me, also know as poor-man’s business class). From there throw in another hour home in the car, all this while my brain and body remain stuck in a time zone that is exactly opposite to where I ended up. Good times.
29 hours? That’s soft cock travel.
KLM? Hard not to love Dutch flight attendants, they know what they’re doing in those little hats.
Nailed it. But Turkish airlines is hands down the best service.
not a single minute of meaning full shaping? who were you scouting?
Goddamnit, I forgot what I was throwing myself into here in the comments !!
Out of the frying pan and into the fire, or as Bilbo puts it:
“Escaping goblins to be caught by wolves!”
btw- you shape any fun shapes or just performance sleds?
Yea. It’s the sole reason that I left a reply to your comment. Just as a reminder that while the comments here can occasionally be brutal, that most of us still appreciate any positive addition to the surf culture, whether we regularly express it or not.
BG is best enjoyed under a nom de plume, anyway.
We’ll happily accept you here if you can take a ribbing.
Particularly if you give some radical discount codes on new boards.
Are you our new daddy err… mod?
I can’t imagine how hard it must be to be you….
haha. brutal.
Tequila doubles for breakfast?
rough start to the day.
think I saw this in a Nick Cage film.
I didn’t rip any ciggies with those, so nowhere near Nick Cage level yet!
Hey, Jon. Just wanted to let you know that I’m a big fan of the work that you and your contemporaries are doing in the surf media these days. It’s refreshing to see the drinking, cursing and rivalry that is the bedrock of most surf cultures shown for all to see, in such a humorous way. Keep it up.
Going at it alone is smooth sailing, kids just turn the intensity up to 11.
Next time you pass through Newcastle, gimme a shout and I’ll buy you a coffee.
Same for any of you louts on here, to be fair.
If you’re down vicco way give us a hoy. Theres a place to stay and waves not too far away. Serious about that.
I should be in Jan Juc in the next year
Cheers Deeks.
Much appreciated.
California swell
https://youtu.be/T0JIg9oHBb0?si=QK3zmWQIUGcNqXM0
Is that Hippy in the background with the purple shirt and white hat?
as someone who hasn’t travelled any further than the local food center for 20 years, i’ll be the first to admit: I live vicariously thru ya’ all. having been an avid fan for nearly ten years (and spending more time on BG than all the rest of periodicals combined), I too can’t remember all exotic travels of my own. Memories are not yet failing but rely on the memories of others that may refresh my own.
Welcome to purgatory friends. “it ain’t quite heaven, but it certainly isn’t hell.” Once read a story ’bout Welcome to Purgatory, Now Go to Hell.” The only other scribe that had that much influence was “Fear&Loathing…”
With all the posts you’ve thrown around, I wait for someone to deliver new entries into my stupor. Was so enthronged with the smell of food and drink you so auspicially toss around I started sharing food porn here, where none had been before. At first the responses were positive but were later eliminated by a growling few. Banned!
Then articles with said flavoring were becoming the norm for BG and I the self asked why. Was reinstated and posted a few more pics. Eventually there was a new blend of travels to places like Cardiff and ensuing lots of tacos. One of my last posts had no pics but was rewarded by The Mod who upvoted me a half dozen times, as if to say: Hey you I’m sorry and you really are keen to my scene and the rest seem to enjoy a new wrinkle to the BG lore of the authors.
That said, purgatory is a lil brighter today.
If youve travelled overseas youve travelled more than 90 percent of any humans ever have!!
no europe. no south america. no africa. but MEX, TEX, AK, NY, PNW, HA, MT, Tijuana…all good times. working trips. long sobering walks home from bars. one percenter and surfvivor~
HA sounds very overseaz
at least nine times. epic maui. Ma’alaea Harbor in 75. as written before, brushed elbows w/ Reno A. the whole N Shore showed up as I got outta da water. cover of Surfer 1975.
burb! exsqueeze me…’72 at 15 yo…
Its a shame you never got to south east asia.
Its incredible.
I am in France and three gorgeous ladies just helped me prepare a cake and I am hopelessly falling in love and praying it is reciprocated.
Xox
What kind of cake bruz?
Gâteau de la yaourt ! Cunt!
With spiced pear and raspberries. Dark chocolate chips, pistachios, almond powder. Topped with almond flakes and honey.
Xox
Fuck yeh very fancy, I thought you were just baking up some hash cookies
This is what’s important
are those the same 3 girls I met at Cavaliers?
Oh not all, you could cake all three to meet your mother.
Xox
Ask them if they’re familiar with Cake Farts
Do you know what I like most? Cake farts. Way to ruin a delicate mature moment for me haha.
Xox
This is why you shouldn’t share them here, but I’m happy you did. I am in Spain alone and this resonated for me.
A good looking bloke like you won’t be alone for long Bogs. Spanish women are beautiful. (Although probably a pain in the ass long term)
This… is very true. The part about Spanish women being beautiful. Myself?
Well.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Hopefully someone who is kind, works hard, and appreciates my passion for surfing will cross my path. If she speaks my natal tongue—oof!—I’ve won.
Inshallah
American citizenship used to be a deal closer. Shame that has gone by the wayside.
I’ve never thought about that. And now it hurts.
Better alone than poorly accompanied though.
Awwww mate! Come up to Hossegor! I am being terribly couth!!
Xox
I am off to the land of lisps! Soz cuzzyyyy
Ahhhhh ya poof!
Xox
More than making a cake in France? Teehee
Joe turpel xxx channel…”she’s gone the downcarve straight to the source as cupped out hands of our best friends genitalia have held the prize of not just one…not two Mitch…but three perfect pairs of life giving silos … what’s it look like from a closer view kaips ?”
I guarantee it works, done it many times. It ain’t easy to do but well worth it.
International surf trips with the whole fam? Biz-class lounges? Man, it pays well to be married to a high-earner.
That’s just the Sheraton at Charles d. G. They let you totally bum there if you buy “lunch!”
Guy on the right of the photo looks thrilled. Is that because of the delays or because he is sitting next to Chas?