“We’re not looking for any significant cooldown in the foreseeable future."
You have heard of polar vortices and atmospheric rivers, bomb cyclones and popcorn convections but a new and horrible weather pattern is currently forming in Southern California. The dreaded death shovel.
Meteorologists are predicting temperatures to soar north of 100 degrees Fahrenheit in the Inland Empire. Folk in Riverside and San Bernardino, San Dimas and Matt Biolos’ hometown of Chino each cooking. Ryan Kittell, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service, ominously declared, “We’re not looking for any significant cooldown in the foreseeable future.”
Respite will, of course, be sought and what better way to beat the heat than a cooling plunge in the Pacific?
Families will pack cars with towels and Wavestorms, Spikeball kits and Yeti coolers and point west toward Orange County’s tantalizing shore, dreams of a little splish splash dancing in heads.
They will park and lug to the beach, becoming hotter and hotter with each step, needing a refreshing dip more than ever but unbeknownst to them a fresh pulse of south swell is arriving at the very same time. Surfline is predicting waves in the 6-8 foot range this weekend, 10-15 feet next.
Baking inlanders + big surf = death shovel.
Already overworked lifeguards will be pressed to the max. Spikeball factories ramping up production like crazy in anticipation of swept away kits needing to be replaced forcing workers to go without breaks.
Wavestorms broken like toothpicks.
But do you live coastal Orange County? Will you lend a hand as a volunteer lifeguard or merely observe the chaos as it unfolds?
Also, where are you paddling?
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19
Good to see ya Happy, how ya been mate?
Hahaha, its too irresistible!!! I don’t blame you for the extremely careful, selective wading free/longy/tom tom… I mean, ya know, ‘who’d want your job… you must be exhausted…. mmmmmaaaayyytttee!!!’
But the ‘dreaded death shovel’ sounds like some fabled weapon that the fact free, trumped up swillnut head honcho/Greek God/cum fillossuffer, stupe’ nuttle’ wields when things ‘aint so swell’!!! When he’s literally doing his banana, over at the swillnut mens shed!!! Subscribin’ lllllluuuurrrrvvvee!!! Or when he reckons ‘fake news’ is running amuck… agin’, and another twinny gets bazzed in a bomb even…
Seeing as the line in the sand has been trumped, scrubbed out, literally trampled and erased, with ‘llluuurrrvvvee’, I’ll leave you to join the dots free/longy/tom tom… if ya dare!!! Just make sure your steamer’s tucked into your booties when you do… and no flexin’ ya muscals either!!!
btw, the trumped up, magnificently crafted ‘swillnut health, fitness and longevity mane’, isn’t helping thermsy either!!! He’s not feelin’ ‘the luuurrrvve’, and hurtin’ big time!!!
imho… but… again…
Hahahahahaaha I fucking love these Kwan after I have read em few a cuppla times and get them mate. I enjoy some of the articles over there but the live chats during events are sooooooooo fucking boring its even worse than the “event” you’re supposed to be watching haha
…what the fuck is a ‘fahrenheit’?
Brad Gerlach has been putting out a little video dump lately – which I’m enjoying.
Still surfs good.
Gerr is a boss but Wave Ki is fairly retarded.
Say more
Gerr is a boss but Wave Ki is fairly retarded, you can humiliate yourself and practice surf gymnastics on dry land all you want mate that is your choice but again I find it fairly retarded..
Lol was just curious on your perspective. All those sports are in fixed environments/playing fields so I could see where he’s coming from. Doesn’t seem like it’s gymnastics from what he’s put out. I don’t know. I get what you’re saying but. The multiple comments are a nice touch.
Yeah mate I love everything about our culture even when a forefather dips his taint in the kook pond for a bitta coin to support the dream all good
Taro Watanabe or the Coffin bros or Parker Cohn surf like kooks to you?
Anyone whose first name is a last name is a kook
Truth
Hah Taro is not in the same convo mate he so naturally gifted and the other 3 I could take or leave style wise..
if that’s a big part of what Wave Ki is meant to dial in then I don’t see it is all.
idk if it’s a style thing honestly. Seems like it’s technique. Word is that he had been working with Taro since he was a grom. I know as much as you probably just seems like you’re very sure about whatever Wave Ki is or not.
I’ve read the the article way back when he was trying to describe what he was doing unlocking the Conner Coffin “secret turn” that we never ever ever witnessed so…pretty lame
Sorry Brad love ya mate.
From my experience, it just prepares the body through simulation. Like a physical manifestation of visualisation. That shit is not controversial.
Stand in your living room before going for a paddle. Go through the motions of a proper roundhouse cutty. Drop the leading shoulder, dip the hand, swivel the torso and look at the ( imaginary) foam. Do it a dozen times.
Won’t make you Slater but will let your body know what’s expected of it.
Kinda like wanking Idk.
It is exactly the same.
Certainly don’t want your mates to catch you doing it.
And never ever record it ya fkn pervert..
I’ve tried a homespun variety a couple of times. Went through a bit of a pre-surf kata in the privacy of my place before paddling out. I can vouch it works. Reckon I should do it more.
Horses for courses my bruh
Do you catch skaters practicing tre heel flips or big spins just out in a park or gym without a board?
Tennis players performing a returning two handed backhand from the baseline on the slide in their garage?
Basketballers air dribbling?
He’s 60 now and still rips.
That vid is maybe a few years old cause I’m positive he’s older than me? Still looking loose, limber and well on point there. Still ripping.
Worth watching that old Scream in Blue Cheyne Horan biopic on YouTube to watch young blueflame Gerr getting angry At Cheyne at Bells then coming back strong at Manly. Full lolly bag berserker attack in the micro dribble Sydney slop. Anger is an energy!
Even in the fucking 20/19 millimeter gimp suit you need for Victoria.
think that vid was from 2020
Aren’t you from down around near to Sydney mate, gets pretty cold down there? I only ask cuz being such a soft cunt I notice a real difference in water temp from here down to Longys area and then the other way when I used to go up to Straddy or the Sunny Coast?
I’m about halfway between Sydney and Brissy. Gets cold enough here. Overcast winter day with a brisk offshore is freezing. Not my cup of tea.
This YouTube channel is going mental loading up classic surf videos this week. It’s nonstop.
I had never seen any aussie videos from this era, and I think that some may be loaded up. Also never really saw much before Momentum or even much from the Momentum era other than Lost…. and The Kill films.
The only thing is the person doesn’t care about accuracy, and is mislabelling the facts about the films being loaded up. Probably a burnt out stoner with a head of swiss cheese.
https://youtu.be/rESCSUX2s8g?si=lKJr5xLX1sZDafQG
I am completely stunned at the sheer amount of surf content you consume Barney, it’s fucking mental hahaha
I love multimedia in many of its formats.
I don’t watch all that I share here, but I share it in case that some others are interested.
And I thank you for your service mate xx
Where Barny find da time???
Pretty sure he owns surf shops in margs and down south West Oz. Check the description.
I’m ready to send him some of my old gold VHS if he doesn’t have them. Some of the old Aussie ones were insane. Hope he’s got the old Matty Gye and Pulse movies. Ready to supply if you don’t have them, fella!
by the time they find a parking space in Orange County. they’ll probably be too tired to go in the water.
Correct
Big girls in leopard print suits gonna be attacking liquor stores
https://youtu.be/m0cyBmtcDMk?si=wfiDC-TCYWB972JA
Some even pack their car up in Coos Bay and head south.
I’ll just wait for the rescue videos of Zonies and East of the 5 folks on Youtube
Yeah they keep it simple for stupid people alright.
Vissla released a 30 min surf video called Pedro’s Bay, with Bryce Young. Does anybody know where the location is?
Snoooooooze alert. Release something with Yago ya cunts.
Stoked to see this at my local market yesterday.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I never understood the stance of having “values” and not taking the energy drink money.
Especially Monster. They’re even good enough for Bobby Martinez.
And that means they literally ask you to do nothing for that money. Throw the hat on if ya want mate.
Notice how the person posting the poster blocked the Volcom nose logo. #corelord
Can you give an example of someone who turned down the Energy Drink money? Who had this “stance” ?
Dane
Not so. Dane, according to HSGP allowed Quik to pay him extra, what Monster was going to pay him, so as not to renew his contract, so that his board would be cleaner (with one less sponsor on it).
Quik in the mid 90s made sure that only their logo was on Kelly’s board, as well as Al’s which they wanted to remove. You know that already as you’ve seen the same episode as me. It’s very interesting to see all the Kelly footage from circa 94 to 96 riding his narrow 6’2s and 6’3s with only the small Quik logo on the nose.
Dane did not have any moral quandary about selling energy drinks. I’m yet to hear of a surfer who did have such a quandary.
San Clemente
Is the video 10 years old? I know people who were at vissla back then. First part of the video is a fickle wave in the Caribbean that is easy to get skunked. I forget where it is though. There was a surfer or surfing a cover shot and photo trip to that spot in the 90’s early 2000’s.
I’m pretty sure the second half is Australia.
That’s the one. I was hoping someone knew which Caribbean island it was.
https://youtu.be/DAFwpaCPXI…
I tried to figure it out in 5 min but couldn’t do it.
It’s somewhere like bvi that doesn’t normally have waves.
Edit: more that it’s not one of the islands known for having decent or consistent waves.
Celsius is good for science but Fahrenheit is better for human perception of temp.
Yeah sure if you need it dumbed down for you.
Suit your Celsius…I favor either scale to be Fahrenheit.
do Aussies have an uncensored version of the kids cartoon Bluey where Bandit calls everyone a cunt??
Hahahahaha na we don’t but now you’ve mentioned it we really need one!!
seems like an obvious move.
Little kids love the show and think they’re really getting some Aussie culture. But there’s a glaring hole , ha
I really enjoy you well spoken seppos on here adopting to our liberal use of the cunt word. Feels naughty somehow when you fellas use it haha
It is, indeed, a rather naughty word. Quite scandalous, even.
Teehee! *~heel raise~*
Ya’ll have desensitized me to it, which is a good thing I think. After all, it’s just a word.
We just see ya as one of one of the boys now mate!!
Excellent.
I am glad you took that in the way of a compliment as it was intended or I may have been in trouble haha
Mate….Big fan of the beard. If you can pull that off you’ve got life sorted.
The chest and armpit hair might be a stretch!
For some of us who worked on a trading desk, that word is used with the same frequency as most people breathe.
“ I don’t have to work with a blasphemer.”
“Nothing a year in the tropics couldn’t fix.”
Right ! I’ll get onto it
This feels like a planet cunts production if there ever was one
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
practically writes itself
Tasmanian edition
In my neck of the woods this time of the year going for a surf comes down to something I call GCAM.
G- Gas- By looking at the bouys and cams all day does the surf look worth the amount of gas I am going to have to use to get there?
C- Crowds- Will it be crowded?
A- Attitude- Is my attitude in a good enough spot to deal with the crowds? How about a pest in the line up?
M- Motivation- Am I fired up to surf in very mediocre waves? Do I have the right board in my truck to make it fun?
Now with all that being said I need at least 3 of these things to line up otherwise I will reset to my baseline which is having a beer on the couch.
Marijuana Always Gets Ashed.
Pulled into the bubbly chamber!
Sean Collinsery
Any hip gaping or practicing your pop ups Bond? You sound like a gaping kind of guy to me mate?
Good questions and see how I could come off that way. I do some extracuricular excercise to keep me from penetrating the 30L board volume ceiling but you will never find me practicing pop ups, hip gaping or even stretching on the beach.
Our young mate Bog definitely participates in both. That cunt is so indecisive he gapes hard at the beach for a halfa while working out whether to surf for 29 or 49 minutes or just give it a swerve for the day
I like to imagine you imagining me hip gaping. Seems like you’ve given it some thought already and you’re working it out in real time. Wanna beer?
Rightio cunts, it’s Friday. An incredible blue sky day but pretty damn cold ….probs 20 degrees in the sun.
Surf is a small and not really worth getting bitten in half , so in an hour or so going to head for a COUNTERY.
Not sure if our Septic brethren are familiar with the concept of a countery. It’s lunch at a pub / bowlo / RSL club. Big basic feeds that are ultimately satisfying. But most of all it’s a chance to drink at lunchtime. The unspoken code when someone suggests a counter lunch at the pub translates into “ Let’s go neck multiple schooners of beer and possibly tie on into the evening.”
Sounds way more civilised and understated to imply that you are looking for a convenient lunch. It’s a common occurrence to walk into a pub at dinner time to find the lunch time punters still at it. Maybe a little worse for wear but waving that day drink flag high. Especially on a Friday.
Anyway….wish me luck. Plan is to hit up the old school Bowlo for a countery. ( Quiet , little country town lawn bowls club ).
Having the chicken schnitty, pepper sauce, no salad , extra chips . If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Was partial to a schnitty and a VB. Love a pub feed.
Pub feed is the pinnacle.
You are a man of impeccable taste Bond and you are completely right about this dickhead. We have a group of around 20 mates in a group text who say where they’re going on Friday knock offs and whatever my work and family commitments I make sure I go at least once a month.
Sometimes its just 4 of yous or whatever and other times it maybe 30 of ya but its always fucking sick to catch up with mates ya may not have seen in up to a year or whatever.
A good simple feed, heaps of beers and a laugh with mates is so fucking good for your mood and mental health and I truly just fucking love it. Fuck all these shit cunts going through a decade long mid life crisis. and spiking up with T and peptides and all that shit to “keep themselves feeling young”
I maybe a foul spoken Strayan bogan but all I want and all I need is a good pub feed once a month to keep me feeling on top of things ya bunch of weird, soft cunts haha yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew
Sounds amazing except for that 20 person group text. Hope you have that thing on silent mate.
A single VB sounds just like you cunt xx
A longneck will do it for ya!
ah the bogan lunches …Aussie aussie aussie oi oi…down here its was 6 degrees this morning 10′ +….big Winki…and Margo down here with his son…….yewwwwwww
Ah Brutus what is a meat pie then? Hope you’re getting some good waves
yes Bogan food also…I ‘m not sure on which one though as once there was a meat pie…..now there’s a 100 different versions of the pies…..then there’s the other bogan lunch…the parmmy….
Funnily enough….
A while back, but not that long ago , I shared a fun session wth just myself, a couple of local mates and Margo who was there with XXXXX XXXXX. We all got our fill of blissful uncrowded joy and we’re talking shit in the carpark post session. I said to Margo “ What’s on now, mate ? Straight to the bowlo for a half dozen schooners? “ and Margo said “ Oh, yeah. I’d be keen for a beer!”
Unfortunately I had to let him know I was only joking as I had shit to do. But he was 100% up for a weekday session….at 11AM.
Nice bloke. Good surfer!
Probably wasn’t much north of 6 degrees here this AM either. Water probs about 20 though.
Funnily enough , am with Margo and his son Micah right now doing a project for Stab…
yep Margs is the quintessentialAustralian great bloke …..but he doesn’t really drink beer he likes a red…..but he does have a problem saying no , LOL……..so not sure about your Margo story!
I’m more of a white wine spritzer kind of cunt xx
You silly lil poof wog <3
Im not buying it.
Mad respect Bog. Well played.
I can only thank those who came before me and showed the way *~heel claps~*
Bahahahaha surfline….Bahahahaha
it’s like saying you use bing