"No pressure for me coming into this one..."
The world, still reeling from Brazil’s World Cup soccer loss and the United States’ Folarin Balogun’s return from red card purgatory, was dealt another stunning shock today after Kelly Slater was announced as a shock wildcard for the almost-month-away Outerknown Tahiti Pro.
The professional surf contest, which gets underway on August 8th, could have slotted any number of epic up-and-coming Tahitian locals in the event but turned to the world’s greatest every competitor instead.
Slater, who has notable bagged many excellent scores at the Place of Broken Skulls, was almost hyped with the announcement into the event that his clothing company is sponsoring, saying:
I’m stoked to be in as a wildcard at Teahupo’o this year. I’ve been recovering from hip surgery late last year and recently got back to surfing daily. I’m really looking forward to getting myself locked in before August comes around and hoping for great conditions in Tahiti to give us all a good challenge. No pressure for me coming into this one, but I also haven’t competed in quite a long time, so it’ll be fun to see how I go getting in the mix with everyone. If I can relax and just focus on what I know out there, I should have a good time.
A classic mix of weird pre-game shading and back foot posturing. Kelly Slater “having a good time” on re-engineered hip what every surf fan craves.
Deserved.
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Did Trump have a hand in this decision too?
as long as it rids him from the commentary booth im fine with that…
A glass half-full outlook… nice work.
first the atlantic north african ‘middle east’, now the 33 days ‘almost month’… linguistics really be a bitch…
These soccer players have to be the best athletes in the world
The GOAT is the best athlete in the world. These young men would die if they tried to surf 12’ Teahayoupoo
For the GOAT it’s just another Tuesday.
Not the u.s ones. Bahahahaha
That 3rd goal is mortifying
What about the fourth xx
Maybe Donny King Seppo will step in again.
Hahahaahahahahaha
Sad but true
A chance for Kelly to go out a winner
Hahaha…” go out “
bahahahaha. You crack me up Gil
Do not worry my dear American friends. Donny has been on to the ref and yous can have 15 players on the pitch for the last halfa. If that doesn’t work Belgium only get to have their goalkeeper on for the last ten
Fuck Team USA, Chump tried to cheat and KARMA fucked him
No way would this crazy old coot be taking a wildcard if he’d made the Olympic team a few years ago.
It would be embarrassing if it wasn’t for the fact that he has a mental condition. Don’t know why the cheerleaders can’t see it for what it is
It’s all Kcoloho’s fault for taking a team spot.
Think it was Seth or one of the Hawaiians. They even gifted him some bullshit “best US surfer at the chopes contest” loophole, because the NOC can make it’s own criteria. And even then he screewed it up.
Guy’s been cheating it since he hurt is foot at jbay that time. Should have retired after pipe but no, had to get his precious Olympics berth.
Why are they feeding Leo the Ramzi/Oscar winner instead of Eimeo?
USA demonstrates their ineptitude at soccer oh sorry fuuuuutbol
C4 and Hippy celebrating Belgium goal
Building up those straw men to knock em down ?
I don’t even know what that means
Are the crowd booing when the trump guy gets near the ball?
Why would they? It was a shit call on the red flag and it was rightly overturned.,
Similar thing happened before in the past.
C4 and hippy are communists that will hate trump more than they root for the United States
The crowd is booing when he gets the ball
I didn’t see that
Always convenient
Trumps bullshit of Birth right citizenship… unless it helps him
No integrity Gwen, how bout you?
in 1962 World cup ,Garrincha /Brazil was red carded during the semi final and was overturned so he went on to play the final.
what trump did was corruption as he couldn’t resist claiming how he intervened in calling his mate Infantino ……who would give trump any cred when it comes to corruption…..anyhow all over now USA /Australia can get back to what’s left of life,LOL!
So easy too
My grandma had a new hip, didn’t really impact her surfing
Was just watching Bo Derek in an interview.
Apparently she was an airhead surf bum from redondo beach. Mother worked for Anne Margaret so she was sent on an audition at 16 and John Derek, who had his wife Linda Evans at his side, pulled Bo on the movie shoot in Greece.
Went down a Bo Rabbit Hole and her first interviews with Carson and Letterman were wild. Comments say that she was coked up in the interviews but i don’t know how to tell these sort of things unless the person is being clearly unhinged. She’s not a grandma 👵🏼 as yet, though.
I would think he is pretty fit after a year of rehab and physio he might shake things up a bit.
except he rides shit boards
Do things need shaking up on tour? Things seem fairly shaken up so far, other than the Brazilian domination and Yago being in front.
Newborns make you fat. The only thing shaking will be his spare tire.
Belly Slater…it’s a thing in certain circles
I know da guy. Heck of a surfer. Had a cardiac episode not long ago. Hope he gets the weight under control so he can see his grandkids someday. Way too many HamSammishes.
Who would you wild card some surfer that has never been up CT scratch like Chippa or a bloke with runs on the board and is a legit champ.
Let’s see. Can I choose anyone?
100%
John
Michel
Dane Henry
That Peruvian guy messinas if you want a goofy.
That’s without a host of pipe guys who are way younger.
That bouancy vest he’s carrying will help him out finally
i love my bouncy vest
Jahaha
He Said on the mic at Occy’s contest he’s been getting into shape. Talkin about 9’s, how would you rate Kalani? Fair dinkum if you think that the topic is too crude and don’t want to answer. Also, what did you rate Bo Derek in the movie 10?
Back in the day I’d rate Bo an 8. But up against Rachel Riley she’s a 5
Rachel sure is fine. She has great taste in football teams as well.
But as much as I love a cute face, I’m a boobs man. And Bo’s boobs are much nicer than Riley’s.
Sacre blur ! Heresy !!
I was always partial to Valerie Bertenelli but then again look at my avatar
Jeezuz skip !
she looks like Eric estrada !
You don’t like the latino boys as well?
No need to be so closed minded. EE was like a smooth gorilla.
ha haha!!!!
pele slater with the wildcard
I applied for a live thread wildcard, wish me luck
i’m pulling for you!!!!
I’m jorking it also!
Xox
It hasnt been going well for 50 year olds over there
ouch
Thats what he said
That’s even worse. I know Strayan cunt is an insensitive prick but I thought you were different
50 year old bones bro, come on.
Speaking of which how was your goalie boy breaking his wrist celebrating and sidelining himself for the rest of the tourney?
That brought a little ray of sunshine into my dark outlook on life.
Reserve goalie
Too soon
For truth?
He has teenage kids bro
So basically Leo and Italo are both getting knocked out in the first round by Kelly and Eimeo
If it’s 8’
Leo doesn’t surf in the first round against the wildcards. He’s in the yellow shirt.
Yesh but when Kelly wins his 1st round heat ( when not if ) he will face Leo
And he will smoke him
When Kelly first came up, so exciting. He and Brownie blew the surf world up at Lowers. So fresh was their energy
Now Chris is gone and Kelly won’t leave
Chris fell of a cliff high on speed. Never should have befriended Ruffo and the Santa Cruz crowd . Too much for a Santa Barbara bible reader like Curren.
Didn’t help when Shane ratted him out to get his spot on tge Billabong team.
What does Shane love more…money or surfing?
Stemcells.
Baja hahahaha.
Is this proven? Or just hearsay?
Also, being wronged by a teenager is no excuse for going off the rails, if that’s what happened. Just need to put your head down and get onto another team.
Fact not fiction.
Rippa. Browning, not Brownie. RIP to them both.
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May the spirit of Greg Browning dwell in us all.
Greg never challenged Kelly, he was like the rest of Momentum.
Brown, Beschen and Irons…. there’s the warriors
Why would Kelly leave? Why would anyone want him to leave? You so desperate to watch thirty minute heats of some European D grade CT journeyman biding time till they launch their post-tour surf school?
tbh rather see Eimeo and Matahi- both masters in their prime, than Kelly.
They can have Toledo and Marco Mignot’s places.
Those guys might be masters but Kelly is THE Master. Aren’t you curious to see how well the best ever stacks up against the mortal deterioration we all face? Aren’t you hopeful that the example of performance aging set by Our Kelly will trickle down to our own surfing lives?
Whilst Kelly has been a fucking disaster for those that enjoyed surging as a non-mainstream, and relatively uncrowded experience, both our lives as surfers is much better for the performance bar set by Kelly Slater. The further he can carry the burden of success the greater the expansion of the timeline of our own surfing.
It behoves you to recognise and appreciate what he’s doing for every surfer on the planet with his relentless dedication to performance longevity.
If a heat in a CT is what it takes to inspire Kelly to actually, consciously try to preserve and hone his ability for another lap of the sun then give him every opportunity he needs. And be grateful for the crumbs that fall from his table. They may be the difference between riding a mid length at mid sixties or late sixties for both of us.
Marco is more than capable.
Great point in that subbing him for guys like Toledo would be great except that will never happen. Ke11y is taking a spot from a local guy that deserves the spot more.
Ke11y did not qualify for the tour, simple as fuck
I’m no Slater fan, but would rather watch him surf that wave at 54 than 90% of the guys on tour.
why even have wildcards?
Because they ‘re wild?
to get the best guys in the draw
I don’t even know why there’s a pro tour
You must work for the wsl
What song does Ke11y sing his kids to sleep? I’ve been thinkin’ about this one for a while therefore don’t want to be flippant. I’m pretty sure this one is in there.