"Here's the thing: it's not laziness. It's not the conditions. It's not how you feel that day."
It’s one of the damndest things I’ve ever experienced, that thunderous downward spiral from almost-everyday shredder to rarely if ever.
A litany of injuries, a hip reco, roaming Great Whites and fleets of drones that see every one, terrible banks, has kept me out of the water, mostly, for the last few months. What is shocking is how easy surfing swings out of your life. Used to be everything, who you hung with, where you travelled, now but a curio from the past, like rollerskating as a kid.
The psychologist Lisa Davidsson explains what’s happening in your head real good.
Are you a surfer who never surfs? Someone who used to surf a lot, who still loves surfing, but who feels a strange discomfort at the thought of going? You keep rechecking the forecast, trying to talk yourself into it. You tell yourself you’ll go tomorrow. Then morning comes and a million reasons not to appear, and they feel rational, so you lean into them, and you don’t go.
Then the shame spiral starts.
Here’s the thing: it’s not laziness. It’s not the conditions. It’s not how you feel that day. It’s about facing whatever being out there reminds you of. Maybe it’s that you feel too old now. Maybe you’re scared of something you never used to be scared of. It’s telling you something about yourself you don’t want to face.
That’s where the work starts: actually looking at it, accepting it, and letting it in.
Below the liners.
Have you been down the shame spiral?
Or you feel no shame?
Are you ready to start doin’ the work, accepting, letting in etc?
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The surf Is never optimal durring summers with an island chain blocking all our south swells. 50 miles either direction makes for good surf but I hardly commit to it this and last summer. Fortunately body surfing closeout windswell keeps the stoke.
With respect to this woman, if she took up surfing as an adult, she’s someone who surfs, not a surfer. We know the difference even if it comes across pretentious.
Shrinks can be good for the soul and if you need one, go see one. They can help with psych problems. Not sure if this bird can help me surf.
At their heart, every psychologist is insane and only studied psych to work out what the voices in their head mean. Put it this way: I wouldn’t marry one.
Have a look at her testimonials, all women vals who are scared of the water. Good luck to her if she can make a living out of it but you’d get better advice talking to the crusty old guy in the car park who’s been surfing since 1968.
alcohol and weed have solved all my problems, just sayin….
The problem with drugs, and this includes alcohol, is some people don’t respond well to it. We all know bad drunks and we probably all know “that guy” who drank himself to death.
Weed is a bit different, it doesn’t make you violent, the risk is it can drain all your ambition and/or turn you into a paranoid mess. All my mates who did nothing with their lives were massive stoners.
Ive been hammered so many times and had crazy unforgettable times on the piss. But after my 1000th hangover I realised I didn’t need to get hammered anymore.
I get drug tested at work so can’t do any of the other stuff anymore. Weed did tend to calm me the fuck down but also got me just way too paranoid. I preferred ecstasy TBH, but it’s off the table too
Sorry bro, it was a joke that many can relate to.
I have a couple disciplines that I lose myself within, some might call it meditative but really they are just distractions that replace inebriation.
Not sure they “ work” but they do relieve a struggle that will rear its head again.
Some fellas enjoy being social on the piss. I tend to be quiet and alone. Not sure if either is helpful. My happy times unfortunately require surf immersion, I’ve failed to replace the euphoria beyond the water
Like any addiction, surfing good waves will haunt me until death
Sounds like mushrooms might check all the boxes for you.
Australian psychiatry https://youtu.be/8sGU6r_gMq0?si=YIO5FP8CGknqpW5d
the post-60 surfers still making it happen all have impeccable technique. Less stress on the joints long term. Don’t try and force the issue or over surf. Seems obvious.
Jock Sutherland a few summers ago, skin and bones but a pure line. 8 foot board or a touch less? Skip Frye wishes he could move like that.
feels like beating a dead horse , but approaching 60 and it truly is all about what happens before you stand up … once you’re on your feet the muscle memory kicks in and at least in my experience your balance is generally still there (albeit not as fine tuned as it once was , for sure )
also , point breaks are more and more attractive as you get older , if so inclined you can just paddle around the end and make it out w/ hair moderately dry , get more bang for your buck after you stand up , etc — of course , the crowds
The swell finally dropped after pretty much an endless run since March, coincidentally the whole time I’ve been out of the water with chronic debilitating nerve pain, took the 12″1′ out the point this morning, turtle and dolphins came say hello and only one out.. watched the sunrise and managed to get a few fun ankle snappers, was just going to paddle but the adrenaline took over and just had to catch waves… So grateful!
Good work
Thanks B…Copped the rail to the face on one just to keep it real, woke at 3.30am, frothing, Sun doesn’t pop till 6.30am… pleasure and pain!
nothing like taking out a spaceship and going mach 10 on nothing waves.
just went for a surf..
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Some days are better than others .
Some girls are bigger than others
She may be a heifer but she’s my heifer. Said by a friend way back when after a couple of beers 🍻
How fucking good is Marr?
Surfing as you get older is fucked as, probably got a few years left in me though
Accepting new limitations as we age is very humbling!
Politely and eloquently put and just what I was trying to say. Maybe you can translate for me from now on mate?
I’d need a special Australian slang dictionary!
That can be arranged
surfed decent (but not epic) Honolua Bay for the first time after I turned 50 – a little self serving , but did feel like I appreciated more than would have if had caught it good in 20s or 30s.
Wasn’t so focused on scoring the best waves and impressing my crew , just could marinate in that epic colosseum a little bit , pick off the wide ones and soak in the flow … was like being in the world’s greatest surf cathedral.
climbed back up the cliff and Ms Rocks told me some locals had been hitting on her the whole time , but she told them her man was in the water so she would have to decline , ha —
moral of the story , you can still score as an old man, on many fronts!!
My main reason is that most of my foundation surfing friends are dead, the few still alive are many hundreds of miles away, and I don’t like sharing the water with strangers of unknown skill and attitude…
Find good, uncrowded waves with a few loved ones and your stoke will come back like a lion.
Been away from the surf for awhile after marrying a Gal from the Deep South. Battled some health problems but doing much better. Saved some coin and now, finally, am in a position where I can spend the entire El Niño winter in Hawaii and California surfing nonstop.
Then, out of nowhere, knees are crumbling on me. To the point where I don’t know if I can surf.
Deep depression
Hang in there.
Thanks
You’ve always got me Gwen xx
Come on Gwen. Lose a few pounds and lessen the load. Youre still young
excess weight is the killer
This hurt to read </3
Just gotta realize what you did for years and years is now a young man’s game…just switch to the Boogie and get more barreled than most anyone.
Crowds is most often the tipping point and it’s getting much worse. The veteran has to accept B or C grade waves just to find empty spaces and that doesn’t respect the pedigree one has earned. Forecasts shake the ant hill and out they come, another resentment builds toward those who march to fake drums. There are legit depressions. Travel to your favorite “ secret” honey hole to find more ants following an Instagram trail that you blazed on your own, more than depressing. The restaurant you loved, dedicated your life to, now only serves cafeteria food and you have to wait in line with all your friends kids talking incessantly about how good the food is and you stare at your buddies who dare not complain.
Then, you book a trip to visit Blowin and surf gorgeous peaks until you realize that you can’t go home. And you can’t if you want to keep surfing.
Youve earned quality surf and are being served gruel at home. Your cake is baked and your favorite hippy ain’t inviting you to brunch, whaddaya do rippers?
Your post menopausal wife pushes your advances away. Yourboss at work asks you to train the new kids earning less than half your pay. Head to the pub and listen to a friend who taught three sons to surf while never mentioning the code of ettiquette or gawd forbid punishment to his best friend children and sit in wonder how he can complain about unruly crowds?!?! You want to drown him, but accept the pint he offers to pay for because he can see it in your eyes and he knows…..
I imagine.
When your health situation prohibits you from surfing all the other issues ( crowds etc ) seem minor
Jesus….some Lennon write right there! Create🎶from that sheet.
Loving the expansive contributions, Hippy.
Is that your invite, dear friend?
Haha!
Tease
Snack shack is calling…
Conditions keep me dry docked most days. Paddled little over 7 miles with your mentor this past Saturday..
Saw a stat yesterday that said the most shark bites in the world occur in the US while most fatalities goes to Straya. I figure 2 things going on there, your sharks are cunts and you all are a bunch of pussies. MWA!
Florida with there ankle biting sharks throws off that stat I bet.
For sure. Was arguing with some idiot in an instagram comment section about Great Whites in Australia.
His retort was to ‘come surf in Florida’, like that is somehow the epicentre of serious shark interactions. Just after i mentioned a submarine sized white buzzed me a couple hours north of Sydney a few years ago no less
After a while you realise you’ve spent a fucking lot of time bouncing around in the lineup riding shit waves because all the good waves are crowded.
The trick is to not care.
We need to shut down all AI written ad copy until we can figure out what the hell is going on.
Waste of money Dez. It’s over, classic t levels plummet… Next stop, screaming and yelling for more jam on your scones in the nursing home. And breaking into a cold sweat when siri won’t answer, or your iphone croaks. Or shuffling to the letterbox to get your latest sciatica scan, or psychologist’s invoice.
It doesn’t have to be like that. But, for most surfers, well most people, they aren’t going to do the necessary shite, so, alternatively, start barfing roids, peds. At least as a reasonably late starter, your kidneys, liver and heart will hang in longer! Here’s a good example, (and no its not Barton … yet…) Ignore all his blurb, he’s all about the peds… again…
Everyone weirdly thought that the drones spotting a white shark every other day would bring some form of relief to the shark panic down in Sydney.
Obviously never heard the term “ Ignorance is bliss”.
By 2027 ther only bloke surfing down Sydney town will be Han Solo.
I see Princess Leia, its wank o clock!!
I have an idea of Scunt’s blossoming now.
Used to get me ex misses to dress up like Princess Leia in Jabba’s Palace on special occasions and they were some of the happiest 5 second periods of me life
Those hair buns must have been bolted on knowing how you’d be grabbing on!
Hahahaha
A harbinger of quit-lit season 2?
Set amongst the fruity Bondi vape fog instead of dour Scottish mist.
Moving from Perth to Bondi is like swapping herpes for gonnorrhea.
An ode to your old stomping ground, Dez.:
Oh Perth surfer, I pity thee
Such a swell rich coast yet your waves remain twee
Battling hordes of poms to ride your stinking shoree
Here’s some advice , I’ll dispense it for free
Oh Perth surfer, you need not endure
Waves riddled with crowds, waves made of manure
A short drive North or South and the fuckwits are fewer
And you won’t feel each day that you’re drowning in sewer.
Oh Perth surfer, why don’t you move ?
Leave your traffic and close outs and find a new groove
Your mind will calm and your nerves will soothe
Cause let’s fucking face it, you’ve got nothing to lose
Drive south and there’s just as many fuckwits lol.
Snake shack!!!
Sign says “ Stay away fools”
Cause love rules
Derek- You’re not dead….you’re living in Bondi.
For fucks sake, go somewhere without drones, crowds, closeouts and closeted fuckstiks. You’ll be amazed how naturally surfing resumes its rightful place in your life if you just get the fuck out of your own way.
Living in a place with bad waves is like filling your kitchen cupboards with processed rubbish pretend food. One day you wake up realising you’re a fat, unenergised piece of shit and assume that’s the normal progression of life. It isn’t.
Get out of Sydney like it’s on fire.
Here’s a little slice of mid-winter mini-peak joy to whet your appetite:
As beautiful as any woman
Small town girl-next-door who doesn’t realise how hot she is. Had some unbelievable surfs out there over the years.
One special session was just myself, Ex-WCT surfer Lee Winkler and his mate. Throttling tubes, good vibes and dolphins rooting…..what more do you want? Winkler has a mean rail game and crazy good in the barrel. Underrated talent.
Sparkling and fresh
I can feel this and it sings to me
blowin in the wind
great advice blowin……lets get all the Urban surfers to come surf where you surf?
at least in Perth you get real solid swells and can go North or south..into real waves . Sydney sometimes get’s real solid swells…meanwhile up the East coast nice and soft , easy …….ah the life of an east coast surfer!