Go-for-broke former world #4 surfer Dane Reynolds makes urgent public appeal for data on climate change, “Is the earth a microwave choking on carbon and there’s no turning back?”

"I notice a change, in my short time of paying attention to the weather where I live, 20 or so years, and that is alarming."

Dane Reynolds, the thirty-six-year-old former world number four surfer from Bakersfield in California known for his “go for broke style of surfing that includes many experimental and aerial maneuvers” has used his online channel to make a public appeal for data on climate change.

The father of three writes,

Matt doesn’t believe human behaviour is influencing global warming. Matt has a 5th grade degree in science from Pierpont elementary. 

It’s December 7th and it feels like it’s June. Been flat and gloomy. August had 55 degree water. I swear the pipe used to have a half decent arrangement of cobbles for a somewhat rippable albeit soft peeler. Now it’s a turd. Theres a graveyard of pipe cobbles at San Jon. No rain to restock the pipe.

‘Star Bar,’ remember that? Every 4/5 years there’d be a rain event significant enough to create a massive sandbar at Santa Clara river mouth that extended out 100 yards sometimes more. It’s been about 17 years since  the last ‘Star Bar.’ 

What I’m saying is I notice a change, in my short time of paying attention to the weather where I live, 20 or so years, and that is alarming. 20 years is a tiny slice of time for drastic change.

Is it purely a cycle?

Or is the earth a microwave choking on carbon and there’s no turning back?  I know everyone reading this is an expert, can we get some scientific evaluation? Anyone wanna compare notes from your regional data? 

Included alongside the message is a very good video.

Ventura father-of-three and former world #4 Dane Reynolds releases surprise surf video hit of the fall, “A lampoon, a reckoning and a tribute all in one!”

Also starring Ventura super Jew and Israeli Olympian Eithan Osborne!

Even after all these years, Dane Reynolds’ famously corked turns lacerate the heart. 

Don’t they?

As he nimbly navigates sections, the daddy-of-three and famously shaggy curmudgeon practically vibrates as he channels anger, apprehension and a sense of foreboding into what is, let’s be honest, superlative surfing. 

Very interesting wave at six minutes and nineteen seconds.

Eithan “Never Again” Osborne, meanwhile, is the classic living example of that wonderful old proverb from King Solomon, “A righteous man falls down seven times and gets up.” 

Perserverance is everything in surfing and Ethan proves it by keeping pace wth his much-older master.


Watch: A full-blast compendium of brave bull Mason Ho’s most diabolical wipeouts!

A bag of horrors!

Any hole, any pit, for Mason Ho and damn the consequences.

Pleasure, as Mason, who is thirty three, knows, is the first sweetmeat of reason. This short video is a compendium of Mason’s most spectacular wipeouts, all cock, knees, balls, thighs, pussy and belly in a basting of blood, the soap and towels followed by a round of goodbyes.

Mason credits his survival to his use of CBD oil and believes, says his filmer Rory Pringle, that “it’s a big part of why he’s able to handle wipeouts like this.”

Hard not to admire.

Graphic: Sixteen-foot Great White shark bites off teenage girl’s leg in wild existential tug-of-war with rescuers, “I felt a pop. I thought ‘I hope my leg dislocated because if it didn’t it would be gone’ and I looked down and my leg was gone.”

“It was like a puppy chewing on your finger.”

Here’s a piece of footage, old as the hills, just got spat out on Discovery’s Shark Week again recently, but, god, it’s wild.

American Heather Boswell is nineteen and on a six-month tour working in the galley of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration research ship Discoverer.

Three hundred miles east of Easter Island, Boswell and pals take a day off to swim and snorkel.

Boswell is stalked and hit by a sixteen-foot Great White.

It grabs her leg (“It didn’t hurt at all, it was kind of like a puppy chewing on your finger,” she’ll recall later) as she tries to swim away.

Crew members hold out a broom to pull her in.

“When they were playing tug of war with the shark they reached down and grabbed my arms and pulled me but the shark still had a hold of my left leg,” Boswell would tell Oprah. “There was tug of war and I felt a pop. I thought ‘I hope my leg dislocated because if it didn’t it would be gone’ and I looked down and my leg was gone.”

On the home video we hear screams and as limb separates,

“Oh my God… It took Heather’s leg off.”

Boswell describes the event as “really really rough” and that she “felt like a ragged doll. And then when he brought me back up, I didn’t feel pain then either, all I felt was a pop. The shark bit most of my leg.”

After she was dragged aboard Discoverer the White went after another swimmer who was hanging off a ladder.

A few shots fired by a crew member sent the fish back to whence it came.

Must-watch full-length surf feature Snapt 4, “A raging storm of guttural joy!”

And with one-hundred thousand dollars to be distributed to film's stars as judged by red-hot buttons Taj Burrow, Bobby Martinez and Mick Fanning.

Newport surfer and filmmaker Logan Dulien is a former opioid enthusiast who kicked the dragon in the guts and who now produces quietly mighty full-length surf features.

Snapt4 is a little different to most surf movies. It offers a hundred gees in prizemoney to the best performances in the film, as judged by red-hot buttons, Taj Burrow, Bobby Martinez and Mick Fanning.

The film stars Mason Ho, Jack Robinson, Clay Marzo, Ultimate Surfer Zeke Lau, Seth and Josh Moniz, Baz Mamiya, little Parker Coffin (the unpretty Coffin brother), Benji Brand, Ian Crane, super Jew Eithan Osborne and sexy as all hell Carlos Muñoz, each surfer risking their balls in the fire ’cause Logan is their friend.

The cash is districted thus, fifty gees for first place, twenty for second, third gets ten, best barrel, ten gees and best manoeuvre ten gees.

“They will have all month to score the sections individually,” says Logan. “The surfer with the highest section total between all three judges wins . This will be announced early December in Hawaii. Until then will let the viewers chime in on who they think won.”

Who y’thinking’s gotta get the cash?