World’s greatest athlete Kelly Slater, slammed by transgender surf icon as part of the “far right going mental”, shines in exhilarating video edit made by teenage surf fan! “That second one broke the speed record!”

Daddy Slater gets his mouth sticky with dreamy roll-in cocktails.

It is a rare day when Kelly Slater, the world’s greatest athlete, isn’t courting controversy;

From liking missives written by jailed incel hero Andrew Tate to claiming Pfizer killed a pal’s mom and caused his own mama to be hospitalised to hectoring a Twitch star for throwing a male gym-goer under a bus, Slater’s famously cool, logical voice takes a socially complex situation and makes you think about it, usually with much laughter.

Now, in a short video made by seventeen-year-old surf photographer James Ferrell, we find the just-turned fifty-one-year-old Slater in his natural element, putting on his rubber glove and submerging his hand in a jar of lube, pulling out at the deepest moment of connection. 


BIPOC “Queen of Crazy” Mason Ho, “beautiful and fat” Noa Deane and surfing’s greatest virtuoso Clay Marzo deliver a masterpiece in contemporary surfing, “A penetrating glimpse into sport’s most exciting talents!”

A vulgar excess of high-fidelity contemporary surfing from surfing's three hottest and most enduring talents!

Most surfer edits are like very bad coffee. They taste like boiled rags and they make you angry for stealing your time and your hope.

In this edit from the studio of maestro Riordan Pringle, Hawaii’s “Queen of Crazy” Mason Ho, thirty-four, the mercurial Clay Marzo from Maui, thirty-three and Australia’s Noa Deane, twenty-eight, put on a show that’s so damn exciting you’ll have to scrape off your eyes with spoons!

Better than a multiple-nozzled shower and a vulgar excess of golden sunshine!

Hawaiian big-wave superstar dubbed “the world’s smartest surfer” credits his bodybuilding regime for saving him from a wheelchair following catastrophic back-breaking wipeout! “Deadlifts saved me!”

"I slammed on my back on the bottom of the barrel. Right when I slammed, I felt a snap in my lower back, right on my spine.”

Only one month ago, the sexy powerlifter turned Only Fans star Nathan Florence was rushed to hospital by guy-pal Kai Lenny after a wipeout during a twenty-foot day at Jaws, also known as Peahi, a wild outer reef on the island of Maui.

“I got picked up and I fell through the barrel. I fell a lot longer than I thought,” said Florence. “After the initial impact, I got sucked up and fell again. As I was falling, I was pulling my vest. I just fell a lot farther than I thought and my body was in a weird position. I just slammed on my back on the bottom of the barrel, which is just hard water. Right when I slammed, I just felt kind of a snap in my lower back, right on my spine.”

Florence’s account is harrowing, the viewer feeling the crack of vertebrae and resultant jump of his pulse as x-rays are taken.

Now, Florence has taken to social media to credit his powerlifting routine for saving him from a life in a wheelchair.

“Deadlifts are to thank, I believe,” Florence told the oft-controversial adult learner website The Inertia.

In the latest instalment of his wildly popular vlog, the twenty eight year old breaks down the wave, the wipeout, accident and his rehab program.


Fashion model Koa Smith releases harrowing POV footage of surviving “sixty-foot waves” at secret outer reef, “I’m so grateful and psyched, I thought I was about to die!”

"I woke up with so much fear this morning."

In this just-released edit, we are gifted ring seats to the three-time NSSA champ, runner-up to Zeke Lau’s Ultimate Surfer and part-time model Koa Smith charging like a bull at a North Shore outer reef during the Eddie swell.

The behelmeted Smith is twenty-seven and, as you know, surfs with the contented and dreamy look of the female suckling her young.

In one instance, the young lion swings his board as the great wave approaches and he turns his sad yellow eyes to the beach; nothing is going to stop him, not even the growing fermentation in his bowels.

“I woke up with with much fear this morning and having so many thoughts of how easily I could’ve said, no I’m not going to go out and let that fear determine what I was going to do… instead of having a moment I’ll remember for the rest of my life.”


World’s sexiest over-fifty Laird Hamilton reveals the fat-soaked diet, and home gymnasium, that keep him wildly fit as he enters his harvest years, “The doctor was covered in my blood, all over his mask. I could feel him yanking on me!”

“What keeps me motivated is survival. Not drowning!”

Earlier today, I watched a video of a a well-proportioned almost sixty-year-old man, a superhuman some might say, giving Men’s Health a tour of his fridge and gymnasium.

Laird Zerfas (later, Hamilton, when his mammy split from daddy and moved her and the boy to the North Shore where she married the big-waver Billy Hamilton), who lives in Malibu in summer, Maui in winter, explains his surprising diet, which is full of natural fats and so on, his belief in supplements and, later, during a tour of his gymnasium, his devotion to light therapy.

Why does he train so hard, take so much care of what he eats?

“What keeps me motivated is survival. Not drowning!” says the hyperbole-prone Hamilton, who also lists his myriad injuries, including an ankle busted eight times, the replacement hip, the smashed knee etc.

“I’m wounded,” he says.

A few years back, I asked Hamilton about getting the hip sawn off and how he refused a general anaesthetic for the procedure and later said no to painkillers.

“The doctor was covered in my blood, all over his mask,” he remembered. “I could feel him yanking on me. I could feel pulsing as he was doing shit to my leg. It wasn’t pain because they did a spinal tap where they numb one leg. I called one of my buddies to talk during the operation for amusement.”

One of a kind.