As the earth orbits the sun, as the tides rise and
fall, some things never change…
“All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered;
the point is to discover them.”
Who said that, Buddha? Galileo? Einstein?
It don’t matter. The truth exists and there’s no other sport
that takes you closer to the soul of man, to the essence of life,
as… surfing.
Below, are the 15 laws of surf, as unshakable as the
Commandments, as the word of Allah.
1. You won’t get better at surfing by going to
the gym.
2. Once a child has been anointed as a pro
surfer he will never again have to use the following words
and phrases: please, thanks, you go first and I’ll pay.
3. Three Triple Crowns equals one world
title.
4. It’s never acceptable to snake a pal you a
shared a ride to the beach with.
5. An unannounced drop-in is never ironic or
part of some retro feel-good vibe.
6. It might be the most totally advanced technology in
the world and it might be half the price and maybe even
twice the strength. But, it’s still a plastic surfboard.
7. No one can see concave behind the back fin.
It’s the Yeti of surf design.
8. All those stretches you do on the beach?
They don’t do a damn thing. Go for a jog, heat up the hinges,
loosen the sinew.
9. Joining the online commentary about surfers being
robbed by biased judges is the equivalent of commanding
the dance floor with your hilarious gangnam-style routine.
10. Always the hoot, sometimes the shaka, never
the wink.
11. Never trust a man who describes his last ride in
forensic detail, particularly if that description involves
“one of the sickest tubes ever.”
12. It is always unacceptable to refuse a pal’s
request for a dawn sesh.
13. There is no dignified way to surface after
a blown takeoff.
14. Ten cakes of wax will always last just as
long as one.
15. Christian Fletcher was landing stale-fishes
20 years ago. It makes you cute but it doesn’t make you an
innovator.