"After 20 epic seconds, the 40 foot wave threatens to swallow Chuck whole!"
Surfing is in its very nature very strange. Pointless even. Is it really so wrong, then, to replace the strange plank we normally ride with two strange planks and also poles and also thick plastic boots? (Hint: YES!)
This clip sums up, in one neat minute and twenty six seconds, your definitive voice of surfing The Inertia. Laughably awry, utterly out of touch, potentially racist, ill-conceived, funny but not on purpose, amusing maybe to old people.
There is nothing more I can write except the transcript of what the narrator says as Chuck Patterson skis Jaws:
As Chuck approaches the drop in point he can see that the water is choppy but the coast is clear of paddle-in surfers.
He sees a chance, but he doesn’t have enough speed and hangs on to the tow rope until he’s out of danger.
One more turnaround and this time…it’s a go.
After 20 epic seconds, the 40 foot wave threatens to swallow Chuck whole.
The end.
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when your arms are five inches long and you are built like a t -rex, there is no point in trying to paddle into anything with your own arms. thats why you need gimmicks like this shit.
Water skiing with hydrofoils attached is the only thing to make this better. Fuck I hope Laird reads Beach Grit.
This tool needs to start hanging out with Jamie O. Imagine the hi jinks!
ive never seen him catch a wave with his own two arms
An extended family member who I’m 95% convinced is a homosexual pedophile thinks the Inertia is “the only good surfing magazine”. He also likes skiing. Is there any way of putting anthrax in Inertia subscribers mail packages?
Only 95%? With a record like that he wouldn’t have to be singin’ YMCA to have me 99.8% convinced.
One out of the 20 people he’s fucked was a girl. Got to give him the benefit of the doubt on his sexual orientation (PS the word pedophile was the derogatory one. Homosexual is just dandy in my books).
Okay, singin’ YMCA at a roller rink with a choir of eight-year olds.
Just when you thought skiing couldn’t get any less cool.
Well… now, it´s offcial. Jaws became a circus.
It’s going to be Brazilian Carnival next. We’re going to have male hookers in g-bangers and roller skates getting bazzed off their titties. Yew.
Off the wall seems like a better spot for this
The Wedge seems like a better spot for this.
Any concrete dam higher than 50m would be a better spot for this
<< Sure, but can he do it in a leather jacket?
….your thoughts on the look back PoV crutch shot?
Not enough testicle. He also nearly goes head over tips at 1:07 when his GoPro catches a bump in the face, but recovers. Every big wave skier knows you mount your cam on the uphill ski dammit!
where are the locals regulating this bullshit
No doubt brah.
Laird is too busy playing golf and letting Tiger show his wife how to drive the ole shaft.