Ready to rumble.

It is officially winter time in the northern hemisphere. The weather outside frightful and extremely so if one happens to be named Filipe Toledo and either on or thinking about traveling to Hawaii any time soon. Yes, forecasters are alerting the public a major swell event with waves predicted to reach between 25 ft to 40 ft.

75 ft Hawaiian.

23 Jason Stathams.

432 Male German Lower Legs.

Big big.

Hawaii News Now is warning Toledo, and others, that the business will get underway tomorrow (Tuesday) and last through the week, declaring also, “Models suggest the cold front will move into Hawaii during the second half of the week as it weakens. Rainfall amounts do not appear to be very significant, and will be brief as the front quickly moves through. Winds will strengthen out of the north behind the front around Thursday and eventually veer to the northeast by Friday.”

Might it all be enough for the fabled Eddie to run? The most famous surf contest in the world, now that the Pipe Masters has been turned to junk, is called on when wave heights at Waimea Bay tower to a consistent 40 ft throughout the day. It was last played on Jan. 22, 2023, the tenth time in its history, but who could ever forget when on-duty lifeguard Luke Shepardson won it at the end?

Not a dry eye in this house.

Jamie O’Brien, it must be noted, was invited on the first Eddie ballot thus saving presenting sponsor Rip Curl much embarrassment or need for capitulation.

Whew.

"13 years old, your brain is still developing, it’s probably not the best time to start that drug..."

There are few actors more universally adored than Josh Brolin. Son of James Brolin, step-son of Barbara Streisand, ex-boyfriend of surf angel Mini Driver, the 56-year-old leading man has aged like the finest of non-alcoholic wines (Brolin is sober). Every movie he has ever appeared in, from Thrashin’ to W. is a cultural masterpiece and my brother’s girl friend in high school used to babysit his children when he lived in the greater San Luis Obispo region.

It is no wonder, then, with a life so full, that Brolin has just published a memoir From Under the Truck (buy here) and, thus, appeared on Jimmy Kimmel’s late night program in order to promote it.

After the usual banter, Brolin recounted a darker time in his life, particularly falling in with the notorious “Cito Rats” surf gang at 13-years-old and partaking lysergsäure-diethylamid, or LSD.

“I had a great trip! I mean, I had the most kind of amazing — 13 years old, your brain is still developing, it’s probably not the best time to start that drug, but I really had an amazing time,” Brolin told the host. “I saw a fireplace talking to me who said some nice things. I liked what he said. I didn’t dislike what he said. Yeah, it was like, caressing. It was wisdom.”

But things took a dark and sinister turn.

“We went through the whole thing and I was like, ‘Wow, there’s this revelation and all that,’ and then somebody that night, because it was the Cito Rats, said, ‘We should do it again,’” he continued. “Because like a drunk when you do alcohol, you go, ‘Let’s go to the bar and let’s do it again the next night, and the next night, and the next.’ So I was in the habit of doing things again.”

Kimmel, still suffering much despair from Donald Trump’s shock victory, wanted to know if Brolin could travel back in time, would he tell his 13-year-old surf gangster self not to participate in drug taking.

Looking straight at the camera, the lantern jaw’d brunette declared, “Dude, you can’t put me in that position because it’s like every 13-year-old watching your show, ‘cause it’s your biggest demographic,” he teased, before pointing and speaking directly into the camera. “Do not do LSD! Do not do LSD, children!”

Then turning to the dewy-eye’d Kimmel and admitting, “It was the greatest thing I ever did.”

Which prompts the question. What was the greatest thing you ever did?

Watch here while thinking.

The lowest of the low.

There’s low, like jaywalking slowly or texting girlfriends that you would like to cannibalize them, and then there is low low, like staying to the very end of a Sean Combs party or robbing an iconic Malibu surf shop whilst wildfires rage all around.

But Malibu’s iconic Zuma Jay’s is where we set our stage this morning. You were certainly aware of the Santa Ana wind-whipped blaze that threatened to reduce the “city of tomorrow” to ashes. The Franklin Fire, as it was called, was a hungry out of control beast and local authorities shut off power so not to add any more accidental sparks.

Well, enterprising thieves aware that the outages would mean alarms would not ring nor cameras record took advantage of the situation and robbed the aforementioned Zuma Jay’s of nearly $1400 USD.

Shop owner Jefferson Wagner described the mangled cash register to the local ABC affiliate, explaining, “They just totally trashed this thing. I can hardly even close it.” He also shared the door wherein the naughty sneakers made their entrance, opining, “This is where they actually jimmied it through with the crow bars.”

The worst loss, though? Wagner, sad, declared, “The hardest part for me to retrieve is going to be all the receipts from the cash paid outs that I’ve done for the entire year. That’s postage, other things, toilet paper, everything you need to run a business.”

No word if any boards went missing but keep an eye out for this if you happen to call Malibu home.

Deal some local justice.