Boycott: The Hideous Round 5!

Boycott I say! Show the World Surf League who's boss (besides CEO Paul Speaker)!

It has been splashed across this website for almost two years and other websites too. And probably magazines. Etc. The losers’ Round 5 is for total losers and I don’t mean the surfers in Round 5. I mean,  I do. They lost in Round 4. But I really mean the people who watch it.

Round 5 stretches World Surf League Championship Tour events a whole 2 hrs. 2 hrs of maybe pristine swell. 2 hrs of life to watch men who should have skunked off to drink in a lonely corner. What pressure is there in Round 4? I’ll answer for you. None. Which, in turn, makes Round 4 lame too because a “no losers round” is the ultimate losers round!

And it is time to be done with it, with Round 5, or whichever round is gumming up the works. This has been splashed across this website for almost two years and other websites too. But the World Surf League is not listening. CEO Paul Speaker has ABBA playing full volume in his Walkman while he rollerblades around Santa Monica in preparation for rollerblading around the Washington Redskins new stadium.

So let us show them with our numbers! Forward this to all your friends and tell them not to show up for Round 5. No logging in, no favoriting WSL Tweets, no nothing. Being anti-stuff is working for both Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump. It can work for us too!

Boycott Round 5!

ABBA - Take A Chance On Me (Official Music Video)

P.S. Do you think CEO Paul Speaker subscribes to Google Alerts and has to read every one of these stories because they are the only ones that pop up featuring his name?

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NEGATRON
NEGATRON
10 years ago

Your arguments and “friends” from that other site seem to be following you and trying to continue the theme here… sitting on the fence isn’t a pretty place to be, you might have to climb down on one side.

Simon Says
Simon Says
10 years ago

Paul Speaker will not be around forever! Time to start looking for a new punching bag…

Matos Surf Shop
Matos Surf Shop
10 years ago

we are not going to change nothing, BUT I’M IN!

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
10 years ago

Hey, Chas, the next good post material you get you should probably give to Rory. He needs to be fed ideas, since he’s really been struggling since his anti-surf shop and Gay Power Rankings posts.

blumpkin mung
blumpkin mung
10 years ago

The gay power ranking and the Hurley homo advertising campaign were his best material yet!

toofattosurf
toofattosurf
10 years ago

king of komeback…

Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
10 years ago

I’m with Jimmy the Saint on introducing overlapping heats on more contests! I wouldn’t mind at least one no losers round if they were man on man. Give each surfer at least 2 surfs in each contest. Absolutely no heats with 3 man. What do you guys suggest?

J H
J H
10 years ago

TWO deleted comments??? What did I miss??? Was someone talking shit about Rosie (let me at ’em!!!) or was someone talking shit about Rory (meh…let ’em have at it)?

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
10 years ago
Reply to  J H

I was being quite unkind about some of Rosy’s older photographs. Fuckatron wants me to wear a muzzle for now on so it is what it is. I’ve been looking at attending some etiquette classes and being a bit more subtle when making offensive statements like the other contributors at BeachGrit. It’s a very political situation.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
10 years ago

You almost joined Nicky Dee sipping cocktails on his extended vacation yesterday Wigg.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
10 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I would not enjoy exile in Israel with Nick Dee. I’m disappointed in myself. I had hoped to positively contribute to BeachGrit and protect it from becoming the Inertia. Perhaps at times I have gone too far but my heart was in the right place. If anyone is in town for Bells come say hi. Peace. Wiggs.

Butters
Butters
10 years ago

Why does the round 1 and 2 fiasco get ignored? If you lose you should fuck off.

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
10 years ago
Reply to  Butters

They did this once and the guys hated it. Don’t you remember??? Same as the mid-year replacements that saw Gabs come on and blow minds.

Limbless Jack
Limbless Jack
10 years ago

I feel like there’s a lot of talk about man on man, can we boycott that?

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
10 years ago

Geez, leave the majestic Swedes of Abba out of this mess!

Charlie Conway
Charlie Conway
10 years ago

One huge thing that can and should be done is quit running the men’s and women’s at the same time. It fucks both the men and women over. One of the biggest problems the tour has is being able to live up to hype. They spend weeks and weeks hyping something then stop start stop start, switch back and forth between events for two weeks. You never know what you’re going to get. Its not like tennis (whats up Bobby!) where running men and women is easy because a tennis court is a tennis court.

Butters
Butters
10 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Conway

Very astute observation about tennis courts.

Charlie Conway
Charlie Conway
10 years ago
Reply to  Butters

I have a simple and underdeveloped mind when not properly hydrated with alcohol.

Michael Ciaramella
Michael Ciaramella
10 years ago

here’s what they should do:
– top 12 get a bye through round 1
– seeds 13-36 surf round 1 (Top ranks vs low ranks), losers go home
– in round 2, the seed you come up against is based once again on your season ranking. (Only 12 surfers left!)
– round 4 remains 3 man heats, but third place goes home
– that leaves the quarterfinalists, whose seedings are determined by their performances in rd 4 (1st from heat 1 vs 2nd from heat 2, etc etc)
– yadda yadda filipe wins

This saves 8 hours and is a bit more fair in terms of structure. Most importantly, NO no loser rounds.

Also, for fairness sake, if someone loses in round 1 they will receive the same amount of points as a top 12er losing in round 2.

Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
10 years ago

Top 12 only competing in round 2 is old news. It used to be like that. 3 man heats with the loser knocked out means 2 guys can gang up on the third element. You can do better.

Michael Ciaramella
Michael Ciaramella
10 years ago

Old is not necessarily bad. Remember the mid-year cutoff? that was new, and shit. and how can they gang up on someone when there’s 3 man priority?

Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
10 years ago

You’re right, I was talking shit. Still hate 3 man heats. Old top 12 starting in round 2 got thrown out because nobody cared to watch round 1.

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago

And fuck off the reseed after round 2. In every other sport, if the underdog beats the top seed round one, he carries the top seed’s draw through to the final. Fair’s fair!

J H
J H
10 years ago
Reply to  Mariano Landa

Most pro team sports reseed (i.e. Paul Speaker’s WSFL) after each round so it’s not really unusual.

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago
Reply to  J H

Most? I can’t think of one.

J H
J H
10 years ago
Reply to  Mariano Landa

The NFL reseeds. The NHL reseeds. Even MLB reseeds. I think that the NBA is the only one that doesn’t but I’m not 100% sure.

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago
Reply to  J H

None of those reseed “after each round” of the playoffs…besides, this is every competition of an individual sport, not an end-of-season team sport playoff format.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
10 years ago

boycott? there’s 1.6 billion people watching the CT and there’s only about 25 of us reading Beachgrit! it’ll never work!

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

It’ll be like the Trump campaign! We’ll be an angry, vile 25!

ohhodomavich
ohhodomavich
10 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

hey NC is that your voice in the quiky board short adds during the webcast? sounds heaps similar

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
10 years ago
Reply to  ohhodomavich

No, but fuck you’re right! that’s weird.

toofattosurf
toofattosurf
10 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

‘but fuck’… (giggles)

Burnsy
Burnsy
10 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

We’re the 0.0001%

Brutus
Brutus
10 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

so is that why we have loser rounds ah like……..the ISA ‘s never ending contest format? Or is that there are so many people watching surfing we need to extend the format by having 2 x losers rounds , like all sports?

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
10 years ago

No non-elimination heats. Cut to 32 competitors, then man-on-man the whole of the contest. Or 3rd place Round 1 gets axed leaving 24 surfers. Round 2, man-on-man, cutting to 12. Round 3, three surfer heat, 3rd place eliminated. Then man-on-man on.

J H
J H
10 years ago

By the way…if we’re gonna protest…can it be about something more meaningful like Rosie’s somewhat frumpy beach attire? The lady is hot as you-know-what (I forget…when Rory talks about cock fighting and bitch slapping homeless people if this a family friendly site???) and she’s NOT wearing a bikini. What the hell is that about?

Darghh
Darghh
10 years ago

Boycott and do work? Fuck that!

J H
J H
10 years ago

Here’s my thing about Round 4…you get some damn good heats. Kelly, Mick and JJF at Pipe is just one example. Some other events…not so much but it is cool to see three of the top 10 guys in one heat.

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
10 years ago

Get rid of round four, have overlapping heats like they have at pipe, it would make a quicker and better show all round!

Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
10 years ago

Now that is something I will agree on! I wouldn’t mind no losers if they were man on man. Give each surfer at least 2 surfs in each contest. Absolutely no heats with 3 man. What do you suggest?

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
10 years ago

If I’m boycotting, it’s R4. At least people go home in R5.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  Trogan Fan

I mean that’s what I meant. Or something. I get confused about which I’m supposed to be angry about but Round 5 is coming up so… Boycott dear Trogan!

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Well, I did, sorta. No way I was staying up that late to watch R5 last night.

Mustard Tiger
Mustard Tiger
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I literally turn it off during round 4 and pretend to be finished watching for the night….. All girlfriends love surfing, til you watch 6 straight hours of heats and take over the television


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