Hot: Nude (maybe) Joel Parkinson!

Let us have a serious discussion about the male form.

Are you a hot-blooded American, Australian, New Zealander, Brazilian, Hawaiian or South African boy? Do you support, even appreciate, equal rights for people no matter the sexual preference but also get a turnt stomach at the thought of lying naked with another man? Are you proudly hetero to the point of buying a t-shirt that reads It’s Great to be Straight?

Well have I got a photo to challenge you! The great, straight Steve Sherman has such a treasured archive and I’ve been flipping through some of his images this afternoon and I stumbled across this right here.

Screen shot 2016-03-07 at 3. 17. 02 pm

Look how handsome Mr. Parkinson is! That bone structure, youthfully taut skin, Caesar haircut etc. and how hot does your blood feel now?

But more seriously, is this the most handsome picture of a surfer ever taken? Put aside your childish homo talk and engage seriously, on an artistic level. Handsome? The most?

And gals, please also weigh in! Have you ever seen the male form represented more finely? Right now, if you had to choose, would it be Joel Parkinson (above) or Cristiano Ronaldo (below)?

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Michael Flatlately
Michael Flatlately
10 years ago

Paul Walker was my One Time Pass. If we’re speaking openly here – I sometimes imagine Rory to look like a slightly jaundiced, out-of-shape Paul Walker, when I’m reading his prose.

Jen See
Jen See
10 years ago

Hilars. I’ll go with JP out of this match-up. This is a very good game. Can we play it again soon?

toofattosurf
toofattosurf
10 years ago

what the fuck is going on here, bg !?!

GiGi
GiGi
10 years ago

Ronaldo….. Only cause there’s a slight chance of pulpo Valencia and vin blanco after our meeting at Europes answer to the American drive-thru, a tapas bar…

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
10 years ago

why do we have to choose, chas? the world is unfair enough as it is.

the adonis complex isn’t the be all and end all. some meat around the middle is oh so loveable. add a few bumps and scratches and bit of hair on the chest too. a good stare is a THING. so, joel inches in front here.

nevermind the petty details, anyway. there’s cuddles for all here.

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago

Although most +/-180cm pro surfers and soccer players share the same build (wire-muscled, wide backs, thin-if-muscular legs), Ronaldo seems to have superior upper body here. Taking accent into account, Crissie-Ron gets the vote.

@Chas are you licking your lips until Leo Favs is of an age where such comparisons become tasteful and it’s clear that he’s escaped any indiscretions by coaches/handlers/photographers?

toofattosurf
toofattosurf
10 years ago
Reply to  Mariano Landa

latino all the way, huh mari…

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago
Reply to  toofattosurf

Okay, another deciding factor: income and likelihood of a sex tape going viral based on fame. As I doubt anyone but ASL would care about a Parko sex tape, Joel loses on all fronts.

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago

Joel’s haircut screams “Caesar in the street, Caligula in the bed.”

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  Mariano Landa

Ha! And Leo might be too blonde for me…I like my Italians southern and dusky.

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

By the way, what do you duders have in store for International Women’s Day tomorrow (already today across the dateline)?

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
10 years ago

Before I weigh in like to know more about the negative? Is this full frame 6×6, or cropped version 35mm, 4×5, or even 6×7?

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
10 years ago

Bloody hell. Any chance of Rory shouldering even more of the workload and you taking a holiday for a bit?

Lemmy
Lemmy
10 years ago

sounds like you want in

Lemmy
Lemmy
10 years ago

the only hot blood Chas feels is rushing to the tip of his prick

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
10 years ago

Good move Chas, this shit is like kryptonite to the less savoury Stab commentators!

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
10 years ago

Drunken Angel is going to need a long cold shower after seeing this…

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
10 years ago

Curious to hear Rory’s preference…

Rory Parker
Rory Parker
10 years ago

I could never love a man who waxes his pelt.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
10 years ago

Joel isn’t really my cup of tea, but it certainly is a better photo. I’m more of a fan of the Paul Newman type, anyway.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
10 years ago

Oh yes. Oh hell yes.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
10 years ago

I wonder who Joel is looking at that intensely? Its the look of a man that demands a “yes” as a response.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
10 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I wonder if that is Kelly cranking down in the background? Bit of a resemblance. Maybe not.

Kook of the Day
Kook of the Day
10 years ago

Alex Gray

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
10 years ago

Haha yeah I don’t think that is Alex gray but looks like him…. I meant back left though

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
10 years ago

Sorry, Chas, this dude’s got ’em both beat… I mean, I’m guessing…

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
10 years ago

Is that Shaun Thomson or Eric Bana?

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
10 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Henry Cavill

Kimberley
Kimberley
10 years ago

This guy looks like he just saw a naked woman for the first time and has no idea what to do with her…

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago
Reply to  Kimberley

He is a Pommie…

Kimberley
Kimberley
10 years ago
Reply to  Mariano Landa

Hahahaha! Then for sure he has no idea.

Ronaldo on the other hand…

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago

I am feeling artistic! And while you’re here…which photo: Joel or Cristiano?


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