Why do anti-shark magnets work, for instance!
A minor shark attack in Bali has the internets abuzz! An American received a wicked chomp on the arm, underwent surgery.
Luckily for the unnamed fellow, it looks as though damage is minimal. Deep lacerations, severe bruising, but little to indicate debilitating injury.
In order to steal some clicks, and help you protect yourself, here are some excellent, but little known, shark facts.
The buggeragong shark, an endemic species native to New South Wales, has a pair of vestigial arms. Their presence leads to top scientists to believe that all sharks share a land dwelling common ancestor.
New research shows that sharks are attracted to mammalian feces, in addition to blood and urine. Previously thought to be due to the prevalence of voiding one’s bowels in life or death situations, a current study indicates that over 80% of shark attacks on humans are caused by poor wiping technique.
In addition to causing a balance enhancing placebo effect in idiots, magnets function as the best shark deterrent currently available. Not because they disrupt sharks’ ability to detect electromagnetic fields, but because dorks are not a part of a shark’s natural diet.
Contrary to popular belief sharks do in fact suffer from cancer, albeit at far lower rates than other species. Ongoing investigations into the reason for the lower rates leads researchers to believe its due to the fact that they smoke hella weed, bro.
In the summer of 1916, New Jersey experienced an epidemic of shark attacks that left four people dead and one severely injured. Two of the fatal attacks occurred in the Matawan Creek, a fresh water stream located miles inland. All five attacks were attributed to a the same hellacious beast with an overpowering thirst for human flesh, willing to do whatever it took in order to slake its rapacious appetites. That shark’s name? Hillary Clinton.
Hammerhead sharks spend the majority of their lives in large schools. Mainly because they’re a bunch of try-hard assholes.
The Great White shark, long thought to be the most powerful of living shark species, is currently in a state of worldwide decline. Leading experts believe it to be caused by reverse racism, as well as political correctness run amok.
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So the sharks must just be like bill mahr in a whore house in Brazil?
“a current study indicates that over 80% of shark attacks on humans are caused by poor wiping technique.” Plan to share this with everyone who will listen, pure gold Rory, pure Gold. Love; another BG hammerhead….
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Maybe it looks better on a bigger computer but on this 13″ piece of shit those balls are dwarfing the shaft 3 to 1.
That’s a Dick alright!
not a toledo tho, can’t hear any whistling…
I knew Carcharodon Carcarias was a fuckin Trump voter.
I’ll be cutting down on the aqua deuces that I’ve been using to clear out line ups. It’s a real pleasure of mine. Unfortunately, all good things must end.
I’d like to thank Beach Grit again for reminding me how ridiculous Katy Perry’s cans are. If she ever gets caught getting fucked on a webcam please email the link to [email protected]
Will do… I’m always on the lookout. :$
Apropos
Yes we are back to Ms Perry again – they are fucking great cans
“Mainly because they’re a bunch of try-hard assholes.”
¿Beach Gritters = Hammerhead Sharks?
How did you do an upside down ? I’m amazed.
Googled “upside down question mark,” copied symbol, pasted into comment box… in doing so, and then explaining (!), I proved the comment correct… so much effort… truth hurts.
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¡¡¡¡it’s on the android sym keyboard! ¿¡》《¤•°⊙☆♧◇♡♤■□●○▪