Parker: “Surfing’s no fun when you suck!”

Those days when leave the water hating life? Makes you wanna quit, right?

A few days ago, I had one of those sessions that made me want to quit surfing.

Fucking miserable. Timing off, couldn’t link a turn together to save my life. Totally out of rhythm, paddling around like a moron. Constantly putting myself out of position. Left the water absolutely hating life.

Been here before. You have those off days, get a taste of what it’s like to be a total beginner. Makes me wonder how I even learned in the first place. Surfing is really no fun when you suck.

It’s a big part of why I don’t really advertise the BeachGrit thing to people in my day-to-day life. Couldn’t handle them watching me flail one terrible day.

“That guy writes about surfing? What a fucking kook!”

Problem is… I get bored sitting around. And I don’t really know how to do anything else.

Today I had to go get my safety check renewed. In case you’re not familiar, rather than check emissions Hawaii makes you go to a registered mechanic for a safety check each year prior to registration renewal. Ostensibly it’s to make sure you’re not driving a run down nightmare with failing brakes that’ll eventually kill some unsuspecting soul. If you go to a legit place they go over your ride with a fine tooth comb looking for problems. Then hand you an extortionate estimate.

In reality you just go to one of the small independent places. They glance at your car. Honk the horn, flash the brights. Then you pay them twenty bucks for a sticker. Easy as pie. Sorta.

Called in this morning to make sure my mechanic was doing them today. Got a, “Yeah, come on down any time before noon.”

Showed up at ten, was told to come back at two. Minor annoyance, but such a standard Kauai maneuver. You’ve just gotta let it go. Come back later.

Decided to go for a bodysurf in the meantime. Stretch out the arms and legs, have some fun in the ocean. Remember why I like playing in it.

Blowing out my shoulder bodysurfing a few years back turned me into a real pussy during my board-free slide sessions. Went from never thinking about consequences to being a scared little bitch. Not good. Been working to get that shit out of my head ever since.

So it’s good that, twenty minutes into my session, I got hammered into the bottom so hard I thought I’d shit my pants. Hurts, yeah, but each time I escape uninjured it restores a little more bravery. Much needed. At this point in my life I’ve come to accept I need to really embrace experience and confidence. Since, you know, the ability ain’t exactly what I’d like.

Swam around for another hour. Got a great sunburn on the top of my freshly shaved head because, like always, I forgot sunscreen.

After I’d rinsed off the salt, while I sat on a rock enjoying the sun and drinking some water, I watched a rental pull up and a tourist paddle out. Guy did a fifteen minute treadmill on the inside. Got thoroughly thrashed. Very funny. Made me realize I’m not actually doing that poorly. In the grand scheme of things.

I left in a great mood. I love surfing. Will probably paddle out for a second session later this afternoon.