And other important news roiling the Hawaiian islands!
The in-laws are visiting, always a treat. Nice thing about visitors, they see where I live through fresh ideas. It is paradise, kinda. But you can’t help but take stuff for granted. Too many days I find myself driving home in a funk, cursing the universe in general, while forgetting that I live a life better than 99.9% of humanity.
An unfortunate part of visitors is that they always want to do stuff that sounds fun in theory, but sucks in reality. Which is why I’m gonna be dragging a team of non-aquatically inclined boners in kayaks up the Wailua River later today.
I don’t enjoy kayaking. I’ll use them to get somewhere, if I have to. But I don’t find any joy in the act of sitting and paddling. Hard work, too much sun. Boring. But no big deal. I can take time from my “busy” schedule. And they’ve been footing the bill for dinner lately, which I enjoy. Wife’s been pushing to try out some new fancy pants eatery down the road. Damn expensive, even by Hawaii standards.
The food was okay. Overly complicated but unadventurous. The type of place they use top quality fish but slather it in weird foamy sauces. Where the name of every dish is a paragraph. Where they feel the need to tell you exactly which farm they sourced their tomatoes from. Which I think is dumb. I don’t care where my food comes from, so long as it tastes good.
My wife drank two bottles of strong red and a couple glasses of white with dinner. Absolutely hammered. Apparently feeling a tad randy when we got home.
“Heysh bebby, less fuck!” Then passed out snoring on the couch. Very erotic.
Insisted on coming spearfishing with me the following morning. Spent the entire time retching and complaining of “seasickness.”
I’ll admit I wasn’t very polite when she wanted to head in the moment we finally reached the patch of reef we’d spent an hour swimming to.
Speaking of highfalutin Hawaiian eateries, did y’all see they shut down the BeachHouse in Haleiwa?
Place used to be Jameson’s, got bought up and remodeled. Owner, Andy Anderson, played it fast and loose, didn’t bother to get the proper permits.
Put his money into tarting the building up, saved by neglecting the septic system. Now all that shit’s spilling out onto nearby properties.
Anderson was the guy behind the proposed development of a hotel on the same property a few years back. Local residents weren’t into it. Lots of protests, got the idea shut down. Which was probably for the best, since the guy is now almost literally shitting on the local community.
In other totally unrelated Oahu news, divers found some unexploded WWII ordinance a few yards off the beach near Kaena Point. Crazy how much of the stuff is sitting near shore out here. Apparently a hell of a lot more than you’d think. A local Kauai dive spot is notorious for it. Launch was used by the military way back when. They thought it was a good idea to toss unneeded explosives over the side on the way in. Not very forward thinking.
Tyler Kahumoku caught some neat footage of them detonating the device. Definitely did some damage to the reef. But there’s not much more that could’ve been done. You’d have to be a maniac to try and dismantle a bomb that’s been resting on the ocean floor for nearly a century.
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Im going to have to, Just checked your comments and last week you actively played along with Gerr, also you acted pretty poorly when pulled up by the real DC.
The only way I can delete all your comments is to put you on the blacklist.
*sigh* I have zero respect for you as a troglodyte, so your pusillanimous insults are like dandelion slaps. But you have seriously pissed me off!
You stole my identity so you obviously have some obsession issues to go with your anger and cowardice. Feeling a tad butthurt because your hero thinks you’re a pissant troll? If you were half a man (or woman) you’d apologise for your creepy act of theft. But then, if you were either of those, you’d let people judge you for your own poorly-edited comments, rather than trying to pass them off as someone else’s.
For the record, I’m proud of my days as surf journalist and feel none of the bitterness you’d like to project onto me. I pushed the envelope, always tried to entertain, never sold out, and made mates all over the world. When I became a full-time single father I gladly ditched the globe-trotting and became a
children’s author, a fact you’ve evidently stalk-checked. Nine acclaimed books published since isn’t bad for being ‘washed up’ – and I bet I surf more than you too.
Now that I’ve flushed the fake ‘DC Green’ out of his/her troll lair, apparently at the cost of a disqus account, here’s my two cents. Thanks, Negatron, for being prompt and fair. Don’t stop transforming – though I seriously wish you’d ban the fake DC. He’s been vomiting his poorly-worded opinions and feeble mirth all over the Internet in my name, only to drop whiny c-bombs across your site when he gets busted being a thief and a fake. You bet I was pissed. And Parker, your insightful post-gonzo ramblings make me wish my blood was still sputtering through my pre-malarial liver.
It’s a common theme with Disqus accounts… Playing a character online is easier than being your real life sad sack self.
I imagine those with a poor imagination and limited brain capacity find it easier to copy the name of people they want to be like than to spend 1 minute coming up with something original.
For a fan he acted pretty poorly when pulled up, a quick search though his comment history does reveal a thread where in conversation with Brad Gerlach he played along at being you. Brad said hi, BTW {page 3 Gerr: What I learned watching a WQS}
So for that act alone, I’ll ban him and delete all of his comments.
Wow, you’re a piece of work and you have serious issues. I may be a washed-up surf journo, but at least I’m not a whining troll who’s just been busted impersonating a washed-up surf journo.
Jeez no need to be a cunt. Just change your profile name and we will continue as if this never happened.
No, but Im not stealing anyones else’s identity mate. I don’t care that you did and I’ve liked your commentating style. But, I like others here thought you were the real DC.
Put simply, are your initials in the real world DC Green or did you start a Disqus account in an attempt to use the identity of DC Green the author, ex-surf Journalist responsible for Lash Clone and Tubequest?
One of you two is not the real DC Green!! The fake DC needs to change his Disqus name or he shall be cast into the darkest corner of the interweb!!
Not only are you not DC Green, but you’re dragging down my name by making boring, shit comments and have forced me to join fucking Disqus. Cease and desist!
Seriously, you’re a fuckling identity thief. You even list my home-town and a version of what I loosely call my work as your occupation. Build your own identity.
Hey! One of you two is not the real DC Green!! The fake DC needs to change his Disqus name or he shall be cast into the darkest corner of the interweb!!
Nice work on the cheese and kisses Raw Dog
Rory, why’d you delete your anguish of aging article?
I don’t know. Ask Derek, I don’t actually post or remove anything. I just send text and he does the boring stuff.
Next up for your guests: Fern Grotto baby! Kama’aina free. Bring a flask…
We went!
Classic. I figured as much.
WWBD ” What would Bill (cosby) Do”