For Excellence in Surf Journalism!
Three months ago I suggested that the surf journalists of the world should form an academy and awards worthy of our high calling. That honored our very important craft. I have thought much about it since then and would like to officially announce The Graham Stapelberg Academy for Excellence in Surf Journalism™
The categories for consideration are:
The Brodie Carr Award for Best Contest Reportage
The Sam George Award for Being Unnecessarily Poetic
The Richard M. Nixon Award for Best Headline
The Billabong Award for Best (biggest) Industry Schill
The Negatron Award for Best Commenter
The George Clooney Award for Best Profile
The Zach Weisberg Award for Best Story about Avocados/Surfing Pugs
Story of the Year
Editor of the Year
Lifetime Achievement
It is an edge-of-the-seat affair that depends on your input! Who would you like to see holding a coveted Grahmmie™ at the end of the night? Who would you like to heap praise upon? Some names to mull…
Steve Shearer
Matt Warshaw
Rory Parker
Jed Smith
Brendon Buckley
Taylor Paul
Morgan Williamson
Nick Carroll
Sean Doherty
Tim Baker
Sam George
Marcus Sanders
Joel Patterson
Chris Cote
Tell us below! The Grahmmies™ will be announced to the world on July 4th.
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And the Surfads award for “We already wrote a satirical article about this” goes to Snakey Peterson and the Surfads team: https://surfadsmag.com/2016…
Let’s so do this.
Morgan must surely have the The Sam George Award stitched up! Such an unique approach sentence structure! Such wit! Such prose! Such fantastic use of hip lingo!
May I also propose The Chas Smith Award for Excessive Use of Exclamation?
My pug laid cable at Dbah no more than 3 foot in front of a bikini clad Steph Gilmore and half a dozen of her friends in similar attire, my wife made me go over and pick up his steaming turd much to her pleasure. I tell you what though, there aren’t many sights as grand as an obese pug dog in full shit stance on a crowded beach.
The above is my entry into the Zach Wesiberg award although I’m sure Nick Carroll will find fault with my reportage and maybe offer up a heavily edited version for his own entry into the coveted prize.
hahahahaha
Is your dog’s name Gabriel?
… really? OK. So I chopped that list of esteemed (surf) hacks into a bowl, added a pinch of tobacco, crafted a Zeph, then rolled me some ‘introspection’…
nothing!
nada!
zilch!
oh, hang-on… headache. think I need to poo…
Since Rory writes about 2/3 of his stories regarding either his dog or food, does that make him a shoe-in for the Zack Weisberg?
1st. Nick Dee
2nd. Steve Shearer for Swellnet
3rd. Bruce Lee
You forgot “Best Story about Gun Control or Some Other Issue that Factionalizes and Divides Otherwise Amicable Readers”
Not winning a Grahmmie for The Negatron Award for Best Commenter will go very nicely with my well deserved Gritty that I know is surely NOT to come in Santa Ana…
Rory’s wife for Lifetime Achievement
In marrying Rory or staying married to Rory?
I thought she ghostwrites for Rory. Isn’t that why there’s the qualifier sentence of “I can’t believe she puts up with my shit” or some other words along that line?
If you gave them all to Nick would he go away?
I feel like there needs to be an award for Cavy.