Hi! I'm your champ!
Hi! I'm your champ!

What if…the Italian Ferrari wins it all?

Could a blue collar Brazilian put the WSL out of business?

Let’s play a new game on BeachGrit, shall we? Let’s call it What if… and pose questions that would bore the tears out of normal, healthy people but cause us to ponder deep into the night.

And let’s start with Italo Ferrrrrrrairrrrra! I clicked onto worldsurfleague.com today to see if anyone had left CEO Paul Speaker two roses but also to see if the contest was on.

Nobody did and it wasn’t.

But since I was there I clicked on the rankings button. There, of course, is Wilko, hair cut like Gavin Rossdale’s 1995 Bush ‘do, on top. But Wilko ain’t for real, is he. He doesn’t have the mental make-up to complete a wire-to-wire run. He is fun, he is fruity, he is not a champion.

John John Florence is 3rd and while he has the skill to make a run I, also, don’t believe he possesses the mental fortitude. If Kelly Slater taught us anything it’s that it takes a singular focus to hold the trophy at the end of the year. John John may someday have that. Right now he is satisfied being John John. Much like Dane used to be satisfied being Dane.

SeaBass is 4th and no. Caio is 5th and who? Adriano, Jordy, Kolohe, Gab, Joel, Nat and motherfucking yawn.

Do you know who is 2nd though? Do you?

Italo Ferira!

And he is the sort of champion that this modern tour makes. He is certainly the one who will finish the season on top.

How do you feel about that? Do you feel bravo! The blue collar Brazilian put his head down and crushed the higher priced models!

How does the WSL feel about that? Does it feel shit! Another year with an unmarketable winner!

Or does it feel get Enzo Ferrari on the phone! We have our sponsor for the 2017 season! And while we’re at it let’s order two roses!

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J H
J H
10 years ago

He’s not red. A Ferrari MUST be red. For every black, green, mauve or yellow one delivered Enzo flips in his grave.

Shark week is every week
Shark week is every week
10 years ago

Chas I aint satisfied just being John! I’m the king dammit and a king needs his Crown! Also, please refrain from comparing me to that lazy, dad-bod, red wetsuit wearing Dane…

Seaman Staines
Seaman Staines
10 years ago

They are all inherently cuntish, that’s how they got so good.

sonny p
sonny p
10 years ago

you can leave now.

bitter guy
bitter guy
10 years ago

he’s not the boss of you

Noncompetitor
Noncompetitor
10 years ago

Is there a long read out there on who the hell Italo is? Apparently he’s from the Northeast of Brazil like Jadson, which is the poorest part of the country. It’s desolate but has some waves, I’ve been there. What is his background? Parents, family, upbringing, sponsors, travel, motivations? … Does this story exist in English media? There are so many young surfers on tour and we have no idea who they are. And the WSL commentators aren’t helping. Alex Ribeiro? I’d be stoked if Italo won a title just because it would shake things up. He charges in good waves, does solid airs, doesn’t often fall, tends to shut up … what’s not to like?

The tour seems to be separated by overhyped, overpaid, oversponsored Americans/Aussies and underpaid, underperforming, undersponsored Brazilians and others. It would help me cheer for them if I knew more about them.

bitter guy
bitter guy
10 years ago
Reply to  Noncompetitor

Medina is getting paid just fine

Neal Kearney
Neal Kearney
10 years ago

I feel like your site has gone astray from it’s easily navigable and fun beginnings to a slow slide into advertisement city and rimjobbing. First it was an ad bar popping up telling me how to get rid of porno viruses and hire D.U.I. lawyers (how did they know?!). Then the Banks Journal (what the fuck is that?), and now, after Derelic’s Uluwatu cool guy conference with Biolos, the world clocks have been raped by…Lost. The final blow, for me anyways, was a farkin Hayden Shapes video that I have to view every time I wanna escape a reality where such flavors of the month aren’t rammed down me throat. Hope you guys can finally afford to pay Rory…Oh, yeah; I reckon Italo could take it as well!

Noncompetitor
Noncompetitor
10 years ago
Reply to  Neal Kearney

You need Chrome adblocker, fool

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
10 years ago

It’s interesting you care so much about men you don’t know.

sonny p
sonny p
10 years ago
Reply to  Trogan Fan

best comment ever.

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
10 years ago

I can’t wait for the JJF speaking tour. Uh, um, yeah, um.

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
10 years ago

I will kill myself if marc ruffolo wins the world title.

James B
James B
10 years ago

Dear Ches Smith, his name is Italo FERREIRA, not Italo FERIRA.

Cheers,
JB

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
10 years ago

Apart from his newest claim I have nothing against the guy, can’t understand from where all the hate towards him stems. He is far more exciting to watch than two thirds of the tour! Funny that everyone is getting so upset about him dropping in on Jordy, and yet I haven’t seen an edit of Mason without him burning at least three people and everyone loves him!

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
10 years ago

Italo has style.

Nick Dee
Nick Dee
10 years ago

That’s too bad since I am the opposite. Medina is the guy I want to watch. He reminds me of MP & Horan; surfing with frenetic speed, power & athleticism; on a mission. His tube riding the other day was amazing. He nearly made a number of impossible tubes & weaved through a beauty. Forget the personality & just watch the surfing. He is simply in the ‘best of class ‘ aerialist & tube rider in the world.

Noncompetitor
Noncompetitor
10 years ago
Reply to  Nick Dee

AI had some personality flaws too …

Nick Dee
Nick Dee
10 years ago

I agree John can do it. John is no Dane Reynolds. John is an inherent high achiever that wants to win. Losing frustrates him. I like Italo a lot but if Medina gets on a roll or John finds himself on roll, these two are hard to stop. They are simply the best. Medina’s tube riding is phenomenal, just like John’s. Medina is a frenetic competitive animal but John has so much ocean skill to match that.

Italo Post Heat Interview
Italo Post Heat Interview
10 years ago

Look at that sloppy attempt at a half-windsor in the pic. Tighten that shit up man! Never have i seen a man who suits a suit less than Italian Ferrero Rocher. Hope the kid wins

graham muschachos
graham muschachos
10 years ago

I find myself talking about him all the time just so I can call him Italian Ferrari.

dickie toledo
dickie toledo
10 years ago

how correct you are. the wsl will market him just as much as they’re marketing poo-stance. which is zero.

Mapski
Mapski
10 years ago

What if you stopped calling him Italian Ferrari?

slug
slug
10 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

Ferro.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

My life would lose most of its meaning.

wincy
wincy
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Found this on boring news website: http://pickle.nine.com.au/2…
Standard baby dog shit. Viral cute video. BUT. Is that the Reynolds family? And are they so good at marketing they need not exploit Dane’s name to be internet sensations? Cream rises.

Seaman Staines
Seaman Staines
10 years ago
Reply to  wincy

How you found that is amazing. Probably got more views than any heat ever though.

lorne
lorne
10 years ago

i’d be interested to see how the angry surf mob would react to an italo world title. they hated the ADS title even though it was the perfect aussie battler story (sans aussie obviously), is Italo more battler than Adriano?

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
10 years ago
Reply to  lorne

The angry surf mob loves Italo, man turns and legit airs, loves the juice, seems humble and only claims on occasion. Smartest signing by Billabong since AI.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
10 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

billabong are signing people still. billabong still exists? fuck man. seriously? who the fuck buys such rags?

lorne
lorne
10 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

i agree, he doesn’t have any obvious faults i can see but i don’t really have anything against the brazzos in general so not sure if that was a shared view on him.

Nick Dee
Nick Dee
10 years ago
Reply to  lorne

Imo, Adriano not loved for last year because the Pipe contest was a joke. If Adriano won at good Pipe, balls to the wall, he would be loved for it. We want to love true winners. Medina killed it at Pipe in 2014. He was a freaking hero.

slater thenewdonkey
slater thenewdonkey
10 years ago
Reply to  Nick Dee

Julian packing 2nd reef closeouts with absolutely no chance of making them in round 2 was hero-esque. No one else even paddled outside of the channel. He made it to round 3, and won the contest/triple crown because of those few 2.2’s, no doubt. Medina is a wanker.

Seaman Staines
Seaman Staines
10 years ago
Reply to  lorne

I respect ADS for his battle to win the title, I was kind of surprised I felt this way though.


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