Latest dispatch from Nicaragua. Convinces gorgeous girl to maybe three-way with wife!
Gorgeous girl. Aussie/Singaporean hapa. Too good for us.
Couldn’t believe she said, “Sure. Why not?”
Romantic dinner at El Timon. Top notch seafood. Toñas flowing. Lobster all around. Great company. Some sort of spark. Couldn’t believe my eyes.
Wife invites her with us on the next leg. Drop what you’re doing. See you in the morning. We’ve got a suite lined up. Plenty of room for all.
Yes yes yes. She’s in. She’s coming. I’ll meet you tomorrow. Head down together.
Are you on Facebook? Let’s link up.
Why not? My last name is Parker. No idea what title Derek tossed on my last dispatch. Logged in to see, I’m a Sexual Predator.
Damn it. Not untrue. Don’t really mind. Not the best second impression. No way she’s showing.
Sipping cafe con leche, ready for check out. Up she strolls. “Am I still invited?”
Unforeseen consequence, she draws horny boys like flies to shit. Didn’t expect that. Want to bark and bark and bark. Stay away. Mine mine mine. Not an appropriate reaction. Real turn off. Just let them ramble, compete. No matter, she comes home with us.
Hot damn yes. Turns out she didn’t see it. Eventually did. “It’s just schtick. I swear.”
She’s not scratching the itch. Too comfortable. We get along too well. I didn’t make it weird enough. Intelligent, funny. Unbelievably good looking. My exposed skin makes me uncomfortable. Shameful what I’ve become. Strive to exude confidence. Women aren’t as shallow as men.
Is what I tell myself. A mantra.
Unforeseen consequence, she draws horny boys like flies to shit. Didn’t expect that. Want to bark and bark and bark. Stay away. Mine mine mine. Not an appropriate reaction. Real turn off. Just let them ramble, compete. No matter, she comes home with us.
Surf is flat. Equatorial sun is baking my mind. Sucking down water as fast as I can. Competing with what pours from my pores.
But the hotel has cold a/c. Retreat from the midday heat. Regroup. Spent the morning helping a surf camp’s new hires get their boat started. We failed. Engines are an indecipherable mystery. The battery is dead. Will one from a car work?
Apparently not.
Wasted Italian tourists are a scourge. Worst group on Earth. Americans’ reps are deserved, if inflated. Mouthy WOP mangling english. Struggling to roll a cigarette while spraying tobacco across our table. Eyes our new friend. Gives it a shot.
“You are very pretty. You come drink with us?”
She asks him if I can fuck his ass.
Confused, thinks he misunderstood. He did not. Declines. She calls him a coward.
Special kind of gal. Right up our alley. Kismet.
As interesting as this is not, occy has a podcast now! It’s only like 15 minutes, but he has parko as first guest. Those Australian accents are super heavy and so rad.
Hi Rory, long time commenter, first time reader. Just shows what you think of your readership, that you feel you have to link the definition of kismet ya schmuck https://en.wikipedia.org/wi…. Bookmark that one.
Do you feel that –
a) beachgrit readers haven’t got very good vocabularies
b) beachgrit readers are the kind of drooling morons who can’t operate google without a helping hand
c) fancy words need to be highlighted in black like an “I’m with stupid” t-shirt
d) simple words aren’t braggart enough for a humblebrag ego such as yours
e) all of the above
Could you highlight and link words like braggart next time please.
I know for a fact that RP knows for a fact that there are at least a handful of doctors and lawyers who read this. But I think he’s aiming for the truckers and plumbers. And Paul Speaker.
hahahha “long time commenter, first time reader” got me rollin
Man, this is a pure 100% James B kinda of story!
And here was me doubting you Rory!!! I thought was no correspondence because your wife had burned you on her own “tour” and was fucking too fat pommie tourists instead.
As Burnsy said below – need the proof mate
my bad “two” fat pommies
Part 2 synopsis: Wife spends evening munching pretty Australian/Singaporean (who will henceforth be referred to as AS for brevity) girls box. AS looks at wife’s box for a bit. Maybe fiddles with it with her fingers a bit. Refuses to go down. Pretty disappointing result. Rory was locked out of the hotel room. Ended up finding the Italian who can’t roll a ciggie and asks if he can stay in his room. Rory’s butt plug falls out through the leg of his board shorts walking up the stairs to Italian guys room. No matter. Italian guy sticks it back in for him. Next thing Rory is getting fucked bare back on the mouldy brown tiles of the hotel balcony. He keeps asking to get freakier. What will happen next? Will Rory get into the hotel room? Or will Rory get fucked by the Italian guy again?
Photos or it didn’t happen!