A wonderful snowboarder tells us how we look!
(This story first appeared on LodgeGrit. Are you like Matt Biolos? Do you like snowboarding better than surfing? Then LodgeGrit is the place for you too! It’s also anti-depressive!)
People talk shit on snowboarding. It’s an unfortunate truth, but it is the truth. But why? Sure we wear silly outfits when we snowboard but, like, it’s to keep us warm and dry (for the most part, some though are just bad and deserved to get made fun of…) and sure we are attached to the board, but you know what, who cares? It’s the best.
One thing though is that if you work in snowboarding, you probably live in SoCal. And if you live in SoCal, you probably have to deal with surfers. Now snowboarding might get made fun of, but holy shit are surfers the worst.
And here’s why:
Surfers are a bunch of Christopher Columbuses!
The bastards think they’re the shit because they’re the “original” board sport*… Well you know what bleach blond bro from San Clemente?
You didn’t invent shit! You’re just a cultural appropriator!
We as snowboarders know that we didn’t invent shit. We’re just doing our thing and love it. And if you’re down you’re down.
*If you’re Hawaiian you get a pass on this one…
Surfers just wear neoprene or shorts. Running around the beach with your bros in a skin-tight suit!
Sick lol. Sure we may not wear the coolest outfits when we are snowboarding but at least we can wear it to the store to buy some beers when we are done.
Surfers are fucking assholes!
Have you ever met a group of surfers? Well, prepared to get vibed out harder than you have ever been vibed in your life. Since we, as snowboarders, have been getting ragged on for years we are a pretty nice bunch. Granted, if you’re a kook you will get vibed out. But, like, it’s easy, just don’t be a kook.
They think they can do whatever they want cause they’re surfers!
“Oooooooo I surf and know a lot about surfing so let me start a snowboard site cause if I know about surfing I must know about snowboarding oooooooooooooo…”
They’re all so tan and buff and get chicks!
Ok I guess that part is pretty cool, but seriously fuck them.
Fuck them all.