Let's imagine a Slater presidency!
How much do love politics? It is the best dance! A most wonderful tableau! And who would you like to see as President of the United States?
Donald J?
Hillary Rodham?
What about Robert Kelly Slater? Yesterday, the very good Instagram account @thesurfinghobo posited the question: Right, so who would vote for this dude in less than two weeks time if they could?
But,
“He was born in Syria!” you shout.
“Birther!” I shout back. “Our Robert was born in Cocoa Beach!”
And what would a President Slater administration look like?
Let’s imagine!
Super passive aggressive! World leaders would get smiled in the face then stabbed in the back. “Just met with #angelamerkel she was almost as pretty as #queenanne but #notquite.”
Very healthy! Massive chia subsidies would allow for that magical seed to be served in inner-city lunches. Minorities would soar on vitamin rich wings!
Paranoid! There are massive conspiracies out there too vast to talk about here. Know what I mean? But yeah. President Kelly would get to the bottom-ish.
Winning! America would become Amer1ca again.
Ageless! Because of the chia subsidies!
It sure would be grand. Vote Robert K Slater as a write-in and never go hungry again! (Chia!)
Slater would be more Nixon than Lincoln.
It is really you?
Yes.
This comment indicates how badly Chas fucked up by posting about politics, even in a neutral register. We ain’t come here for dat noise!
Chas is a Christian-Zionist. Chas seems to believe he will receive eternal life when Christ comes a 2nd time after a war over Israel (Armageddon). Due to such beliefs, Xtian-Zionists do not give a hoot if they start a nuclear war.
This comment is further indication of why the general consensus is that we don’t come ’round here for political talk (much less irrational political talk).
True. But Beach-Grit is not exclusively a surf-candy website. It is operated my a cabal of rabid Zionists such as Chas & the Gold Coaster who write many Neo-Con-Pro-Zionist articles. In the comments, they only receive back what they have given out. People like me come here to read about surf but lots of the time we end up reading Chas & Reilly’s Zionist propaganda. I think it is a given, if you want to get ahead in the corporate media today, you must be Pro-Zionist. Even the BBC now is.
Trust me, they’ve lost more advertisers because of their own writing, commenters, and a nefarious Surfstitch heist than they’ve gained through such purported “Neo-Con-Pro-Zionist articles”.
Their alt right don’t get in the way of the giggles unless you let it. And that’s coming from yours truly, a ride-or-die guy for the intellectual and trade union left.
You are the Moderator, dude. If my posts don’t fit the corporate model of the advertisers, just delete them. I won’t take it personally. I watch a computer for all my working day & occasionally I get bored & pop into Beach Grit. I ain’t no advertiser’s consumer also. If you are here to improve this site, do your duty. Cheers & best wishes.
I have no relationship to the advertising agenda (although I think they should target alcohol and tobacco brands, not surf…). I also try not to delete shit unless its egregiously offensive or obscene (a pretty tall order, ’round here). Everyone is very aware of your agenda and it’s stated so often and refuted so often that it’s basically inoffensive to the masses. Just a bummer that we have to read it every other day, for variety’s sake. You’d get a free pass if we knew you were teeter-totter fucking wasted but, unfortunately, we have to assume that sobriety accompanies your convictions. Cheers, Nick-o.
I have no agenda. You must be a very politically misinformed to have such a point of view. $5 trillion in military spending, millions of deaths & four innocent nations ripped apart since 9/11 and you still believe the fairy tale Al Qaeda story. You have no idea buddy.
What if I told you that I unequivocally agree with you regarding U.S. imperialism (minus some of the questionable conspiracy talk in other contexts)?
What if I then told you that I sure as fuck don’t go on a fuck-around surf site to talk about U.S. foreign policy?
You don’t take it personally? How do you explain taking on 5 trolling accounts after your last little stint in the timeout corner. Of which mostly consisted of plastic female dolls? Stalking me though stories I’d written years ago, replying to me via comments sections in obscure websites and of course trying to “friend” me on Facebook. Quite flattering Nick!
Its called ‘fun’. I have a sense of humour. I am a social guy. Why don’t you just be honest & admit that Beach Grit has an overt & official Neo-Con Zionist political agenda? Intertia seems the same. It seems the surf media is being taken over by right-wing neo-con establishment types who are happy to watch the world go up in smoke. Thanks to Hillary & Obama – wars in Libya, Iraq, Syria, Yemen, Ukraine, etc, etc. All enemies of USA, Israel, NATO, Turkey & Saudi Arabia. Try to remember the official story that Saudi Wahhabi did 9/11. Is so, blow up Saudi Arabia and not the Syrian heritage of Kelly & myself. When did a Syrian ever bother anyone?
Yeah, you’re right Nick. You’re always right. Speaking of fun, surfing… you should blow ten years of dust off the old beast and get out there.
Please don’t censor Nick. I get a good laugh out of his brand of crazy
You should get your facts straight… the Neo-con-pro-rabid-Zionist is from Perth not the Gold Coast.
Negs, we tried. I’ll let you do the discretionary honors when you deem it appropriate.
Sigh… I think he wants to go down, I’ve got half a dozen replies in the last ten minutes from random websites I commented on 3 years ago from his female plastic dolls troll account.
Shame, every website need one whack job to even the scales…
Plastic doll alert. Nick Dee is a sick fuck, eh?
RKS would expedite the building of 1,000’s upon 1,000’s of Kelly Slater Wave Pool Co. pools, then execute an Executive Order that says only RKS gets to surf in the ocean along the east coast, west coast…..and yes, even Hawaii. Hawaii would likely start some serious shit and RKS would get them to back off into the wave pools by his finger dangling over the red launch button.
robert and hillary both have something in common. they enjoy having their enemies killed. although roberts list (andy irons) isn’t as long as hers.
It’s because Hilary’s obvious flaws – and even her worst flaws – are nowhere near as horrible as even Trump’s most minor flaws.
The word is Hillary does not have long to live due to a fatal form of Parkinsons Disease. Lets hope this is true. Hilary has started enough wars & murdered more than enough people.
Hillary Duff has Parkinsons? Jesus life is short. Audit, give Duff a chance
Nick is our resident pro-Israel fanboy commentator!
Kelly would have to be groomed by Zionists such as David Axelrod & Rahm Emanuel and have a cabal of Jewish advisors like Obama, who ran on a peace message (they gave him a Nobel Peace Prize) but is running more wars for Israel than any other president. What about Seabass? Is Seabass a Jew? Could Seabass be the 2IC? Axelrod groomed these duds to be Zionist puppets & wrote their speeches. Axelrod knows Americans are so easy to brainwash that they will not notice the same speeches.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
How do you find Beach Grit as a forum for combatting Jews and Global Zionist Cabals? You’ve decided to focus on educating the ignorant surfing masses to the dangers of Jews?
Beach Grit must be considered part of the corrupt media? They seem to revel in biased views. It’s part of why I enjoy it!
Are you familiar with Nick Dee’s writings on the topic?
Bobby or Sunny would be entertaining, for a short while, Dane would be boring but inoffensive. You guys need a man like Laird to sort things out! Edit – what the fuck was I thinking, Hawaii already has another president lined up with vision and charisma – Dustin Barca – America needs you!
Vote Kelly – Chia Not China!
President Trump. That’d be some batshit narcissistic crazy for you.
If by chance he does win, does the US military have contingencies ready? Like they give him a bingo card and tell him it’s the nuclear codes?
Well you have a sore loser tycoon who hawks overpriced merchandise to the “regular guy” and never misses an opportunity to undermine and take needless shots at anyone who dares challenge his over inflated sense of self. Then you have Donald Trump.
The only difference would be that there are constantly less than 2mm long hairs in the White House basin.