The contest to Be Our Next Rory Parker ends with a bang!
Three-ish weeks ago Rory Parker left the building and maybe broke some hearts on his way out the door. He didn’t break my heart. I didn’t care and was also glad to be done with his limp whinging, his overcooked noodle of a bad attitude. In my eyes the Rory Parker Method was summed up, quite neatly, by his ham-fisted hatred of children.
Easy targets with no way to punch back.
Anyhow, it excited me to get on with it. Was there another voice out there waiting to be heard? An undiscovered star who simply needed a stage?
And of course there was! As fate would have it an eleven-year-old girl smashed any piece of writing that has ever been on our beloved BeachGrit!
Oh did you read her work today? It is splendid in almost every way from rhythm to timing to content to delivery to voice to style to honesty to lack of pretension. It was glorious to read, funny, informative and… well… fun!
The perfect blend!
I read it just minutes ago (in Japan, snowboarding etc.) over the great Travis Rice’s shoulder. He had to turn around four times, four, and say, “She wrote this?” I smiled and nodded yes.
Sabre… you’ve got a very bright future no matter what you choose to do. A Matt Biolos surfboard (trust me… you’ll love even if you have a board sponsor already). And a spot on BeachGrit whenever you’ve got something to say.
I would write “You win!”
… except we are actually the winners.
She’s like surfing’s Jesus; the voice, words, and personality we’ve all been waiting for. She’s here to save us from the monotonous of the modern surfers’ babble.
it’s just not fair
Careful Bitchgrit, you take on this 11 year old in preference to the other 2 candidates so desperately trying to get the gig, who knows what will happen??? Self harm? or maybe they’ll join forces and start their own site? How can an 11 year old get the gig over these other esteemed surf journalists?
I’m with Travis Rice.
And if an 11yr old girl is haunting the forums of Stab and BG I think all of us should feel a little grubby.
Rory must feel solid about this – replaced by an 11 year old girl!
Haven’t lost to a gurfer since Nage Mellamed beat me that one time in Newport but this L doesn’t sting, it makes my heart sing! Sabre is surfing’s savior and I would be stoked to read her here more often.
Anything with Sabre is a feel good story that I can’t help but love.
Chas obviously this thing with Rory was simmering for a long time, maybe since Day one….which begs the question: if you didn’t dig the guys trip, why take him on?
I really loved some of his stuff. His contest wraps and legal parsings. I thought he had massive potential but, to me, it felt like it all just stalled.
Just curious, what do you think of your own writing and style?
Sometimes it is terrible sometimes it is funny.
She got a waiver for the smoking cigarettes requirement?
I think ol’ Chaz would agree with me on this one!
I concur. Do whatever the fuck you please with language, just have the good grace to love and respect it!
she won ??? How can she when she didn’t get super creative and write a piece bout the top 20 surfers in the world??? Pretty sure she ‘s not surfing Cloudbreak either?
Obviously it doesn’t. It’s a glory of the English language! Thank Shakespeare!