What has this damned world come to?
And the turmoil! The never ending turmoil of our new world order. Refugees being turned away from borders. Mexicans getting rounded up and sent packing. Travel bans, immigration bans, Dane bans.
That’s right! Your favorite surfer from five-ish years ago has been caught in the net, apparently! Oh you may have already seen this on Stab or Surfer but it’s important that we present a unified front in the face of demagoguery. And I will let his longtime companion Jason “Mini” Blanchard take it from here:
Dane Reynolds is currently being held captive and treated like a criminal at the Lisbon, Portugal International Airport Jail. Yes, Jail ! All because he lost his passport ! He’s been there for two days now. They took his phone, backpack, even his shoelaces WTF ! And to top it off, the US Embassy is doing very little to help him. #freedane @usembassyportugal @usembassy
Yikes! That does not sound fun.
But on a happier note, how gorgeous is Dane’s luggage? I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a finer piece on a professional surfer. If Former is offering then for sure I’m buying!
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Xanax could have had something to do with it. Popped a bar before the flight borded, popped another one mid-flight, next thing you know your in Portugal and you left your passport between the seats on the plane. Pretty simple. I bet that was a shitty 48 hours in a cell, thats for damn sure. And kelly is still a huge fucking douche bag.
Psssst… they don’t actually have cells at the Lisbon airport.
I don’t get it. So what if he’s a lovely chap with floppy hair and a fantastic bottom turn? He could of had sarin stuffed up his old chap. It’s Europe. We have terrorists but great coffee.
Gotta wonder if that dickhead from the Inertia that criticized Dane is happy now. LOCK- HIM-UP! LOCK-HIM-UP! LOCK-HIM-UP!
did dane reynolds invent the Dad hat?
Now the truth about Dane and his Passport is here…
He has his Passport.. here the proof!!!
“I show you my Passport”…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
And one more proof???
The video is here!
Dane never cheated on me!!!
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Big upvote for finally linking the impeccable David Niven to Surfing. That’s what I come to BeachGrit for, Obrigado.
“Taking it the Brazilian way” …does that involve two fists?
Hahahah man no no
I don’t know how this come to a brazilian way to drink a scotch… it’s two ice cubes… blaarrrghhh!!!
But we, some of us (not me!!!), still make things worse … like putting ice coconut water cubes (!!!!) at a Jack Daniel’s … and still say it’s “sensational”! !!! Blarrrghhh 2
Why the fuck would you ruin two perfect coconut ice cubes with fake whiskey is lost on me…
Not me!!!! Not me!!!! Not me!!!
Hahahaha!!!
Good point but Mini probably had his passport and he probably lied about what he was doing and the Immig guy believed him. You’d be amazed at the dichotomy in enthusiasm for the job. Some take it as their mission in life and others couldn’t possibly care less.
Please…I’ve seen Chinese nationals declare asylum in an airport bathroom and be out on the street before the last passenger from that flight collected his/her luggage.
Dane likely wasn’t truthful on the purpose of visit…i.e. being there with Mini to film constitutes work and if he doesn’t say he’s there to work then Tiago’s homies get suspicious.
Meanwhile…expect Dane or Vans to promote the shoelace-less look this fall as Prison-Chic.
Kelly’s turning into a low-key Trump on social media. #loghimoutkalani
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Holy shit, now THAT’S a Blood Feud!
Shit, now I have to fall in love with Kelly all over again…
In which account’s comments did you see this one?
it was on @miniblanchard’s but he deleted the post
Bloody coward!
That’s why I always carry two passports
Formerly tight-assed.
Impressive commitment to the new venture, risking butt-injected STDs for a few more internet sales.
Better than working for Quick, I suppose.
backside rear entries are back in fashion
FORMERly std free!
Better cover his bass, big fish like fresh meat.
That was the most graceful way of arriving late to a story.
I try. I really do.
The Embassy just called my office, no shit. They are contacting the PIS (really that is a thing) to determine why, exactly where and for how long Dane has been held. Seems like Trump hasn’t totally fucked up the foreign service yet…..Nice lady. Wellness check, that’s the ticket….
Free Dane
Free Willy!!!
Ops…
Dane!!!
good publicity. shake that thing. former. prison chic!
Buttless chaps?
I wonder where the Former placement of his passport lie? That blows.
Personally I blame Chas for this outrage! Obviously Dane read your article about how much more interesting shit surf trips are than perfect ones! As one uncharitable Stab commentator said “He probably ate it” in response to the question of what had happened to his passport between boarding and trying to get through customs. On the upside his new clothing line – Derelict – will now have serious street cred!
Cod knows how he managed to get into this mess.
Elizabeth (Liz) Konick Email: [email protected]
email- ask for a wellness check on Mr. Reynolds