Julian Wilson weeps...
If there’s one historic quote Metal Neck can get behind, it’s Fuck the WSL.
Their core crew of Andrew “Droid” Doheny, Ford “My dad is Matt” Archbold, and Colin “The Goose” Moran, haven’t touched a sanctioned jersey in years. When you add their friends Christian Fletcher, Ozzie Wright, Creed McTaggart, Lee Wilson, and the king himself — Noa “Fuck the WSL“ Deane — to the list, it’s clear that Metal Neck’s priorities veer slightly from those of Kolohe Andino.
That’s why I was surprised to see Kai Hing, Sunny Coast superstar and J-dub protégé, hanging out with Metal Neck in a recent clip. Like many of the guys listed above, Kai’s career developed with one goal in mind — making the world tour. But after an impressive junior career, Kai has failed to capitalize on the QS. Last year, in nine events, Kai never placed better than 17th. Those are the kind of results that turn competitors into… freesurfers.
Because let’s face it, 99% of your favorite freesurfers are nothing more than failed jersey-jockeys. Aside from Dane, none of the Ozzies, Creeds, Craigs, and Noas of the world retained the necessary skill set to make it on the QS, let alone the CT. Go ahead and ask them — if they’re being honest, they’ll tell you the same thing.
With all of this in mind, it’s hard to ignore the significance of a Metal Neck tattoo on Kai Hing’s adolescent bicep.
Could Kai, who is not yet 20-years-old, have already sold his (or his parents’) childhood dream of bunking in the big leagues? If yes, I hope it’s because a lifestyle of indifference and debauchery makes him happy, as opposed to being discouraged by poor results and settling for Plan C.
On a brighter note, watch the kid surf! Ees good!
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that Lee W is one stylish son of a bitch
There was, but now is not, anything special about Kai. Joining this bunch of ‘nothing more than failed jersey-jockeys’ is admittance of that. It’s giving in, because the ‘grind’ has beaten him, before he even got started, another indulged, self enitled, Australian surf grom minced by the machine.
Good to hear a bit of AC/DC and a good wipe out that could have used a nice ballon/pillow helmet!!!
It totally sucks if you rip but you’re really just not into thirty minute sessions and waves for points (and beating that mofo).
Yeah what a life disaster that is.
Indeed.
Well shit! What was Kai’s other choice for gaining acceptance into the brotherhood of Metal Neck? Getting trained by the mop tops?
By necessary skill set you mean groveling?
basically yes
and you wonder why we keep getting these sub 140lb brazilians off the QS
He’s just bummed Ethan made the tour before him. It’s just a phase, he’ll come around (he doesn’t have the personality to make it as a free surfer, tbh). Australian surfing has to get better at giving these kids confidence without turning them into entitled little wankers.
there’s the rub though, pretty small window there
Surfing in the hope of making the CT is an absurd endeavor from the outset. Dedicating your youth to, and sacrificing your education for, shitty waves on the QS is a crime. There are so many young kids who are being home schooled and “living the dream” all to chase blown-out slop.
Surfing is pretty sweet as a hobby, but the chances of making it your profession are close to nil. Learn a trade, get a degree, etc., and surf on the side; you can only live off those Metal Neck royalties for so long.**
**Edit: unless your parents are rich or members of the wolf pak
If he smokes cigs he’s in for sure. Even more significant than the tattoo. Now he just has to drink and rage for three years and he can look as bloated and try-hard as Noa.
“Because let’s face it, 99% of your favorite freesurfers are nothing more than failed jersey-jockeys.”
Perfect. Good job, Mike.