Scandal: Stab lying about socks?

Has a massive falsehood been foisted upon all trusting surf fans?

Today found me heartbroken. Utterly bereft of joy. Crying onto my keyboard. Sobbing even and, when I finally found breath, screaming toward Stab‘s new Venice-adjacent location II “Why SurfStitch? Oh why?”

Yesterday, you see, I wrote a piece on Stab‘s fantastic “How to wear socks” feature. Oh sure I had wished they included the most fantastic of all ways to wear socks but still I was very pleased that 18,025 fellow travelers had clicked on the story, through Facebook, and “liked” it.

What a wonderful truth!

Eighteen thousand and twenty-five surfers as thrilled by mostly proper sock etiquette as me!

This morning, though, I returned to Stab having expected the number of “likes” to have shot through the roof. To 30,000! 40,000 thousand even!

But there they sat at 18,025.

Still eighteen thousand and twenty-five souls.

Hmmmmmm.

I started poking around and seeing that the rest of the “likes” on Stab stories averaged maybe 250. Maybe. And doubt started to creep. Are there fewer surfers who appreciate correct sock etiquette than reported? Not 18,025?

But no way! And how would Stab perpetrate such a thing?

Then I read a story on ZeroHedge titled A Russian Went Inside a Chinese Click-Farm: This is What He Found. It read:

On the day when Snapchat erased billions of market cap from investors (and founders) accounts – as the MAUs-means-money model seems to break – we thought it worthwhile taking another glimpse into the hush-hush world of ‘click-farms’ and the fakeness of the latest social network fads.

In 2014, we first exposed the world to the ‘click-farm’ where nothing is what it seems, and where social networking participants spend millions of dollars to appear more important, followed, prestigious, cool, or generally “liked” than they really are. As we detailed at the time, social networking has been the “it” thing for a while: for the networks it makes perfect sense because they are merely the aggregators and distributors of terrabytes of free, third party created content affording them multi-billion dollar valuations without generating a cent in profits (just think of the upside potential in having 10 times the world’s population on any given publicly-traded network), while for users it provides the opportunity to be seen, to be evaluated or “liked” on one’s objective, impartial merits and to maybe go “viral”, potentially making money in the process. Of course, the biggest draws of social networks also quickly became their biggest weaknesses, and it didn’t take long to game the weakest link: that apparent popularity based on the size of one’s following or the number of likes, which usually translates into power and/or money, is artificial and can be purchased for a price.

As we concluded previously, the bottom line is simple: “The illusion of a massive following is often just that.”

Son of a motherfucking bitch.

Are the Chinese wearing their socks cooler than I am?

Stab? What did you know and when did you know it? I WANT THE TRUTH!

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Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago

Sock wearing for surfers. If it’s warm enough wear thongs/flip flops or whatever the rest of the world calls them. If it’s too cold wear footy socks. Matching them is a bonus, but don’t be afraid to be a margin walker and combine different teams, or if you want to blow minds, codes. If it is really cold, woollen socks are ok.

Tom House
Tom House
9 years ago

Chas you’re way behind. The rest of us learned about click farms on “Silicon Valley” which I watch while squealing with glee every Sunday night, the hordes of wealthy tech idiots so nearby.

Noa's last dart
Noa's last dart
9 years ago

I’m surprised it took you this long to notice, pretty sure every style article even has the same default amount of ‘likes’. I hope you didn’t read the sock article though, because it was worse than this one.

Preston
Preston
9 years ago

Yes, just like that Volcom pants one about 3 weeks ago. I believe that one came in at a whopping 59 FB likes.

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
9 years ago

Snooze button, 9 more minutes please.

Snowbored
Snowbored
9 years ago

This piece is so boring I can’t even yawn

throwing disqus
throwing disqus
9 years ago

Recon Paul Speaker got his social media interaction numbers from a Chinese click farm?

?uzzled
?uzzled
9 years ago

Well, I suppose that Beach Grit is still better than Stab since they banned Joiny, but why so gay and nasty?

huma's tears
huma's tears
9 years ago
Reply to  ?uzzled

Saw one of these ex-Bruce Jenners in a line up once. Fucker was pulling a London on everyone, I presume because he thought he could use the cute-surfer-girl-snake pass, but he wore a little skirt thingy rather than a bikini, so he probably was hiding the fact that he hadn’t made the no-turning back, total commitment surgery.

In my opinion, this was an abuse of the pass. If you’re gonna use the girl pass, you can’t pull back on the tube.

NUG
NUG
9 years ago

Sock puppets like sock.

Wardo's PO
Wardo's PO
9 years ago
Reply to  NUG
Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
9 years ago

Well compared with 1.6 billion, a mere 18,025 is fcuken chicken feed.

Dipset
Dipset
9 years ago

i love it when youre naughty chas

The MHL Buoy
The MHL Buoy
9 years ago

I just gave it a like and the number didn’t change which is even weirder – whats your response to that Chas?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  The MHL Buoy

Deep state!

J H
J H
9 years ago

Chas…you realize that summer is coming and you need to get in shape, right? Based on that picture it looks like you put on quite the winter coat.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  J H

I know I know but southern California has June Gloom which buys me another month!

longtom
longtom
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

cut the carbs


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