Stab: “Add some pop to your world!”

Also Venice-adjacent Stab magazine teaches you how to wear socks!

I’ve been out of town for a week and mostly offline. Upon reengaging with the world yesterday I was pleased to note that surf media is largely ignoring the Shame of Saquarema. We should all punish the World Surf League for pushing this contest forward by never mentioning it again. I was very sad, though, to see that The Inertia‘s also Venice-adjacent neighbor Stab released a New Yorker-style cartoon feature instructing men how to wear socks.

It received 18025 likes on Facebook. A story titled “FCS has traction for airs you dream of” received 0 likes on Facebook.

The ways to wear socks include:

The Baller: “Basketball is a very popular pastime among a lot of surfers, in particular those from the east and west coasts of America.”

The Reserve: “You probably spend a lot of time thinking about fonts, probably holiday in Copenhagen…

The Icon: “…but need a little expressive detail to make the neutral tones of their suiting pop.”

Etc.

Oh you should go read the entire feature now but, fair warning, you will be very sad too because Stab totally neglects the most fabulous way to wear socks. Please see above and I can only hope their New Yorker-style artist can return to draw.

The StabStitch: “You are in Miami with two days to kill and a suitcase full of methamphetamine…

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Lance Carson
Lance Carson
9 years ago

I thought “Stab” was a gay porn magazine, you’re telling me it’s about surfing?

Bob "Jungle Death" Girard
Bob "Jungle Death" Girard
9 years ago

Momgrit

Shampoo Poo
Shampoo Poo
9 years ago

Rip Curl should grab that one…”The Medina” sock???

seriously
seriously
9 years ago

Does that suit offer any kind of butthole coverage? Asking for a friend.

Wardo's PO
Wardo's PO
9 years ago

Not a big fan of the asymmetrical concept, as I prefer support on my
forehand and backhand. This is precisely why I choose the elephant thong
– it holds no matter the size and it’s cheeky: https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
9 years ago
Reply to  Wardo's PO

I hang to the left so these are perfect.

?uzzled
?uzzled
9 years ago

Beach Grit would be better if there were articles which had naked women or least some (women’s) boobs with exposed nipples rather than gay guys with a boner. And stop with Craig Anderson’s nipples and Ellen kissing that guy for the last 6 months. What the fuck?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
9 years ago
Reply to  ?uzzled

We know our audience!

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
9 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

More dicks please! Fuel the Gay Panic!

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
9 years ago
Reply to  ?uzzled

You get Ellen? I get a “drop 12kg in 4 weeks” I hope the webs not telling me I’m fat. Btw your avatar picture tells another story…


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