Includes Pulitzer prizewinning book!
Did you know that at every event on tour, each surfer is gifted a bag full of sponsor produce? Typically, items include a towel, sunscreen and so forth.
Of course, these gifts do lead to conflicts of interest. A Hurley towel, for instance, is of little use to a Billabong surfer, who might be fined for appearing in public wrapped in his master’s competitor’s haberdashery. Oh the daily headaches of the very best! Mostly, the items end up gifted to friends, occasional lovers etc.
Kelly Slater and his band at OuterKnown (John Moore, Zak Bush and so on), however, have curated a collection for their Fiji contest (watch now etc) that mixes practicality with promotion and all contained within an elegant valise.
Each surfer receives:
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Hey, DR. Any chance you can wrangle up a short, phone interview with Finnegan and find out what he’s up to these days? Ask him some questions that only BeachGrit would ask. Especially about the old time days.
I’d suggest items as follows –
3 x Slater tail pads. Best innovation for years.
OK voucher (then it gets used properly by someone unspono’d)
Set of Kelly fins.
AUD $500 discount on 1 x F. Wire/ Slater Designs board.
Anti microbial micro fibre/ silk blend travel towel. These guys need this !
OK backpack that could NOT be unused, even if given to someone sponsored by Dakine.
Manda & Shade looks legit, so a big stack of that.
3 pairs of Electric sunnies. They can afford them and for what it costs, its great PR to have them on heads.
AUD $300 GoPro discount voucher
Elon Musk’s book !
Tesla test drive certificate.
i’d kinda like to know which — if any — of the bros cracked open the book. that would be entertaining really.
.., …, .. .
Can’t believe they skimped and went with the “Barbarian Days” paper back edition.
Everyone knows that hardbacks are bad for the environment. That’s why the ever environmentally conscience Kelly gave away the paperback version. At least that’s what Nick Carroll told me.
The Lowers gift pack… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
A revolver with 5 bullets
Pound of smack
Soft pack of Marlboro lights
5’10” x 18 3/4 x 2 1/2 single to double, polyester glass.
Round the world ticket
When did surfing become so pussy? We could learn a lot from skaters.
My innocent shanks are tense, but not with joy. But thanks for asking.
Gift bag:
Lamb shanks marinated in red wine and rosemary
Woollen Explorer Socks, (it’s getting cool here)
Imodium, (for those bad travelling days)
Industrial strength paracetamol, (Kava and or skulldrag impact reducers)
Band-aids, (that reef looks shallow)
A Leus towel*
Independent Surf Co wettie*
Lost and Sharp Eye surfboards*
*Repping those that support the good guys. (Contact me for the correct address to send this, or any other freebies).
Sachet of dried magic mushrooms
A first aid kit for reef rash
A vouch for 10 shoulder massages (happy ending not included)
Bottle of Lagavulin 16
With the price of OK clobber got to be worth what $10K each bag??
I would include:
A voucher for a Firewire surfboard of your choice
A copy of “How To Win Friends And Influence People” by Dale Carnegie
A Sharkbanz legrope attachment
1000 shares in the KSWC at 10c each
A lottery ticket
and…and…an Injury Wildcard!
Irony much?
I just wish I could “Re” “imagine” a fuckin income to afford Jimmy Slade’s mid-life crisis funded dream. All I want to reimagine is a potentially better surfing world without the “GOAT” trying to sell it out.
Da fin card do me if any pros feeling the love ..
I gotta admit, I’m pretty interested in those tail pads…